If you’re in your 40s or 50s or maybe you’re coming out of a long relationship and . you’ve been out of the game for a while a lot of guys win when they’re older they lose their . confidence a bit or they feel rusty or they’re just not sure how the game is played nowadays . and it can be really intimidating and because of this older guys tend to make a few mistakes . that hurt their chances with the women they want but these mistakes are easy to fix but . more importantly older guys have a lot of power in the dating scene that they’re not . taking advantage of so in this video i want to discuss five key pieces of advice of dating when . you’re over 40 or 50 especially if the women that you tend to be attracted to are younger than you . hi i’m bobby rio and for the past few years more and more of my clients are guys in their 40s 50s.
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And 60s and it really is rewarding to work with these guys because very often when they come to me . they’re they’re nervous right they’re insecure about their situation a lot of times they fear . that they might not meet the type of woman that they want and often they come to me because maybe . you know maybe they had a younger woman interested in them and things seemed to be moving forward and . going well but then it all just fell apart and they didn’t know why and then i show them just . a few things that completely transform their game and now these guys very often have multiple women . chasing them younger women attractive women and it’s all because of five things and that’s what i . want to share with you right now so here are the five big lessons that i teach my older clients.
Okay so the first bit of advice is a mindset and while this mindset is important for all . guys it’s critically important for guys in their 40s 50s and 60s the mindset is i am the prize . now i often say that when two people get together uh one person tries harder and the . person who tries harder holds less power and is seen as less attractive it’s just the way it is . well what happens to a lot of older guys whether it’s because they just feel you know sort of lost . in the dating scene or maybe it’s because they they’ve been rejected by a wife or a longterm . girlfriend and their their selfesteem is low is that they come into the dating scene now and . they’re carrying that baggage of why would a woman want me why would she choose me when there’s these . other guys that are younger these other guys that maybe you know have more money than me.
And that whole entire attitude comes across and the minute a woman picks up on that it’s like . she goes from seeing you as this attractive older guy because the reality is women have been . conditioned to see older men as attractive if you look at who stars in the majority of the movies . if you see who’s on you know people magazine’s sexiest men alive it’s generally older guys right . they’re they’re uh they’re the stereotypical like attractive man is an older man so women give older . guys the benefit of the doubt right they’re very quick to to be attracted to them but they’re just . as quick to lose that attraction if they sense that you don’t hold those qualities right what are . the qualities of an attractive older man mature confident powerful right experienced and women . those are attractive qualities in in an older guy that women are sort of conditioned.
To to to chase after but if you go into it and you ignore all that and you put her up . on the pedestal and you treat her like she’s the prize then everything that you had going for you . disappears you have to take the reality of i am the prize because what happens is there’s always . two realities that come together and the stronger reality wins meaning if you go into an interaction . even if the woman initially was like ah this guy is a little a little old for me or whatever . but you come in and you’re acting like you’re the prize like she’s lucky to be with you that reality . if it’s strong enough it changes her perception we’ve seen it all the time you can you can watch . a guy who changes how a girl feels about him solely based on how he’s projecting himself . so it’s really important that you take on that that attitude of i am the prize.
Because again you’re tapping into something that already exists if you think about women . who had crushes on their college professor right the older college professor because he’s mature . he’s worldly he’s experienced you know even even women when they were young they had crushes on . their older brothers friends because of that right he’s older he’s more experienced he’s more mature . so if you go into it going i have these attractive qualities which make me the prize . in this situation then she buys into that but if you go into it with the attitude of like well . i’m damaged goods i’m old i’m like out of shape and you and you project that well then that’s . the reality that takes over so you really got to be conscious of i am the prize and you also have . to be conscious of what are the attractive qualities of an older man i named a few of.
Them i have other videos that i talk a little bit more about them but being mature getting . things done right being experienced a woman who feels like oh i can let my guard down because . he he knows what’s up right he’s gonna take he’s gonna like take over he’s gonna take charge . that’s an attractive quality that’s what you have to be displaying the second big . tip that i give my older clients is avoid nice guy mistakes avoid nice guy and i see this constantly . with guys especially guys that have come out of a longterm relationship you know a guy who got just . got divorced he’s in his 50s his wife divorced him and he’s now in the dating scene he meets . he meets a woman usually uh a a a woman a little bit younger than him and then he goes into total . nice guy mode buying her the flowers the gifts showering her with compliments and the reason.
That a lot of guys tend to do this is because when you’ve been in a longterm relationship . one of the complaints that we often get from from our partner from our wife from our girlfriend is . you never tell me how you feel you never buy me flowers you never do this you never do that . so what happens is the guy gets broken up with he goes into the dating scene and he thinks to . himself man i’m not gonna make those mistakes i’m gonna and he does he goes overboard with . the new woman and he does it too soon because it’s perfectly like acceptable to buy your wife flowers . and to tell her you love her and all that sort of stuff but when you’re meeting a girl and you know . two weeks into the relationship you’re telling her how much you feel about her and you’re giving . her gifts and flowers it’s too much for her and again it devalues you because instead of seeing.
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You as the prize now she realizes oh whoa i’m the prize here and something about you becomes . a little less attractive there’s other uh nice guy mistakes that i see my clients make all the time . which wine which gets them winding up in the friend zone one of them is not making a move . i see this all the time where a guy has a a woman usually again usually a younger woman . that he’s attracted to they have this vibe they have this flirtatiousness they hang out . and a day goes by you know a night goes by hanging out with her he doesn’t make a move . another night doesn’t make a move you know four four weeks later he still hasn’t even tried to . kiss her then i you know i started working with him and i’m like what are you doing . and he’s like well i’m you know i i first i was just trying to be a gentleman and then.
Then we kind of got in this friendly vibe and it was hard to then transition . the reality is is that making a move shows that experience it shows that confidence that maturity . so if you’re attracted to a woman and the vibe is there don’t take the attitude of like i’m gonna . wait i’m gonna wait two weeks maybe that’s part of it i think is fear of being rejected there’s . also a part of it that might be a little outdated in the sense of like well 20 years ago when i met . my wife you know i i went on 15 dates with her before we kissed but nowadays that that . mentality is not quite there and women nowadays are meeting so many guys on dating apps and . and all these things that if if you’re hanging out with her three or four times and you’re not . expressing any you know sexual interest in her you’re not trying to kiss her you are going to.
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Get pigeonholed into the friend zone i see it all happen to guys all the time so mistakes like . that right not making your move going overboard with flowers compliments you want to be aware . of that i have clients all the time that i talk to and they they tell me the stuff that they do . these are older guys where they’re like yeah i sent her like on her second date i sent her the . 400 you know uh bouquet of roses and i’m like it’s your second date and you’re already giving her . your best hand like save that i’m not saying never do that but save it for when she feels like she’s . earned it right save it for after an amazing you know time two months from now you don’t do that in . in the initial meetup because you’re giving away all of your best cards way too early . and now she’s got nothing to look forward to in in the future the next piece of advice that i.
Always give my my older clients is get on dating apps okay this is sort of uh some guys some guys . are like of course i know that and some guys are like i don’t want to be on dating apps i’m going . to tell you 100 the older clients of mine who who have the most abundant dating life the guys that . are dating multiple women they have their choice they’re all on dating apps now this does not mean . it’s the only place you can meet women but you have to be on there for a variety of reasons . but one of the biggest reasons you want to be on dating apps is this the abundant mindset so when . you’re on dating apps and you have to know what you’re doing to an extent and if you’re . very unfamiliar with dating apps uh my friend rob judge he’s got a video called endofmen.com . endofmen.com and he kind of walks you through the landscape and what are the important things on.
Dating apps we’re not going to get deep into that right now what right now what i want to get into . is the idea that you’ve got to be on these dating apps because when when you’re older it’s very easy . to get uh and i have friends that that got divorced and they come out of their divorce . and they’re like so scared that they’re gonna die single they’re gonna die lonely because they’re . looking around they’re like man there’s there’s only like i see like a woman at starbucks once . a week and then i see and they think where am i going to meet women and when when you have that . mindset not only do you tend to then make all the mistakes with the women you do make meat . because you’re like you’re clinging to her because you’re so scared that she’s the only one you’ll . ever meet but you also just don’t meet a lot of quality women just in the real world especially.
Now with a lot of us working from home and stuff like that dating apps open up your world right and . some guys will say well i went on dating apps and i didn’t meet anybody it’s because you were doing . it wrong i could tell you 100 that when when when you know what you’re doing on dating apps when you . put in a attractive profile when you know how to communicate you will have more dates than you can . imagine but the other important thing besides the abundant mindset of like realizing whoa i . have a lot of options here i am you know it helps with the first mindset of i am the prize when you . see how many options you actually have but there’s another important element of being on these dating . apps and that is learning the communication style because if you’re if you’re coming out of.
A relationship in your you know let’s say you’re 50 years old you’ve been married for 20 20 years . you’ve really missed the entire texting evolution of dating and texting nowadays is i mean you may . meet a woman in the real world but 80 of your conversations are going to be over text it’s not . even going to be talking on the phone you’re going to be texting throughout the day you’re going to . be texting to set up dates and if the only person you’ve been texting for 20 years is your wife . then you’ve got a lot of catching up to do dating apps gives you gives you that experience right . it throws you in the water and it forces you to learn and it and it gets you seeing how they’re . messaging you because you’ll have a lot of women messaging you and you kind of pick up on it pretty.
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Quickly of okay oh this is the lingo this is how i communicate on these on these apps i don’t write . paragraphs right a lot of older guys they don’t know and they they write these long messages and . it’s and it’s unattractive to a woman because it kind of signals like oh he doesn’t really get . this the more experience you have the more that shows so that’s a main reason that you want to . be on dating apps again if you if you want to know about the communication styles and how to create . your attractive profile my friend rob’s a video i know it’s a sort of pessimistic end of men.com and . he talks about if you don’t know this right if you don’t know how to do all this stuff . you will be left behind because so much of dating nowadays happens online and over text but let’s . let’s move into the uh next tip that i give older guys and this is something that my friend adam who.
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He is in his uh he’s in his mid50s and this as long as i’ve known him he’s had the most . vibrant amazing dating life and i asked him one time i said you know what what is your secret . and what he said to me was be youthful not young act youthful not young act youthful . so let me explain what this means and i think a mistake that some guys try to make . is they think man i gotta i gotta like act young and we’ve all seen the older guy . who’s trying too hard to appear young right he’s got the backwards baseball cap on he dresses young . and he tries to use like the slang that younger people are using and then you know he goes out . to like the clubs that all the young people are at and it’s not an attractive look for an older guy . right because he’s trying to be young and anytime it’s you’re visibly trying to do something it it.
Comes across as tryhard so what adam explained to me is that it’s not about being young or . looking young it’s about being youthful so what does that mean when you think of youthfulness . you think of certain qualities right playfulness being playful fun being up for anything being the . kind of guy who’s like up for anything you’re not rigid with your routine right you’re up for things . you’re spontaneous you have a a playful nature to you a guy that um i was watching some of his . uh i think tick tock videos who’s really good at this and and and you know he’s only in his 40s . but it’s tom brady and if you compare tom brady to some other guys that are like celebrities in . their 40s who really try to be young tom brady’s not he doesn’t try to be young but he’s very . youthful he’s always you know playful he’s always joking around he’s got a very young energy to him.
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Without trying hard to be the young guy you know tom brady doesn’t walk around dressing and acting . like justin bieber he acts like a 40 year old man a 40 whatever 44 year old 45 year old man . but he’s got a youthfulness to him and that’s what you want to emulate is that youthfulness . because that’s a attractive and that makes a woman go okay he’s older but he’s youthful as opposed to . he’s older but he’s acting young next tip that i want to talk about and this one is really . really important is project masculinity project masculinity earlier when i was talking about . being the prize and qualities that women find attractive in older men i talked about you . know maturity experience but masculinity is is an important one what do i mean by that i mean you’re . the leader you’re bold you’re powerful you don’t have intimidation right you’re masculine that’s.
What women associate with masculinity right lack of intimidation being bold taking risks being a . leader and this is partly why when i mentioned that not making your move is a nice guy mistake . that will hurt you is because it shows that you’re not a leader right you’re not you’re afraid to . go after what you want which is not a masculine quality so you know being conscious of saying okay . i’m older i have to embrace this and it’s not easy for all guys right some guys are just like . i’m not that type of guy but as you get older it becomes more important to say you know what . i’m going to be and a lot of older guys tend to as they mature tend to kind of go into that . role a little bit more i’ve just noticed it with friends of mine and family members as they get . older they do tend to take on that sort of more dominant masculine role as they age but you have.
To be conscious of am i displaying it right so if you’re asking a woman out on a date be the leader . say hey we’re going to go here not where do you want to go what do you think is fun what . do you like it’s like hey i was thinking let’s go here i’m gonna pick you up at six o’clock . right that’s leading and when you’re older it’s really important that you do that right . it’s really important to not uh seem scared around her it’s important for her to see you . take charge in certain situations so if if if you know if is hitting the fan or something . and like you don’t want to be like who’s going to handle this like you want to be the one handling . it because that’s an attractive older guy quality so you know in addition to things that i’ve talked . about right taking on the role of the prize we talked about where you have to have that.
Internal belief that i am actually the prize in this situation uh you have to avoid the nice guy . mistakes like confessing your feelings super quick or buying her you know gifts or flowers and not . making your move because you think you’re being a gentleman and meanwhile she’s going what you know . what’s his deal why isn’t he trying anything i talked about that you need to get on dating . apps and not even just because it’s it’s a super efficient place to meet women but also because it . creates an abundance mindset in you which allows you to be more attractive and it also helps you . hone your communication skills it helps you get better at you know the the setting up dates over . text and kind of learning how to do that because if you’ve been out of the scene for a while you . might be rusty with it some guys have some guys met their their wives so long ago that they never.
Actually were in that realm of having to set up a date over text and now you’re kind of learning it . well dating apps gives you the experience of being able to get a lot of experience very very quickly . talked about being youthful and not young and what i mean by that is embracing youthful . qualities like being spontaneous being playful not taking yourself too seriously . these are all attractive qualities along with what i believe is one of the most important qualities . for an older guy to embrace is masculinity right leading always being the leader in a situation . taking charge not showing intimidation now if you are in your 40s or 50s i highly recommend . my friend hank who’s been working with a lot of my clients he’s got a free class called . how to turn your age into the ultimate advantage with women and he walks you through i mean hank’s.
A guy that one of the best that i’ve ever seen he he’s in his late 50s and just an amazing life and . he distilled it very like when he explained it to me i was actually like taking everything he said . and then teaching it to my clients and you know he was cool with it but then finally i go hank . why don’t why don’t you just do a class on this that way they can hear it from you instead of me . kind of regurgitating advice that i’m hearing from you so i got him to do a . a free class i’ll put a link below it’s called how to turn your age into the ultimate advantage . and he talks about how to how to embrace this right how to use your age because i talked . about very early on your age is an advantage if you’re an older man if you know how to turn . it into an advantage and that’s what hank talks about in this class so again i’ll link to that.