Okay we are starting a series this week. on marriage and actually dating I’m. gonna I’m gonna talk about dating and. marriage this evening and probably for. the next couple of weeks and then we’re. gonna get into studies specifically on. marriage and parenting so we’re kind of. doing a family series I’m calling the. study tonight what the Bible says about. dating and marriage and so that’s what. we’re gonna talk about tonight how many. of you guys are single raise your hands. okay how many guys you guys are married. raise your hands okay a little more. married than single here I got stuff in. here for both of you and so you’re not. gonna be bored I promise you. the reason I’m wearing a ballcap is. because I have decided that this is my. new fashion statement and I’m always. going to be wearing a ballcap from this.
Point on and that can no what happened. was I was working out this morning and. guess what happened yeah I hacked my. head yeah. that’s what happened so you know I had. this thing where I routinely hack my. head doing something if I’m working on a. car i hack my head and so I got a big. old scab on my on my head if I’m working. on a car and I always do it like on. Wednesday so that by Sunday it’s really. grody looking and this one was really. good I was getting off my situp bench. this morning and I have a squat rack and. I had my you know I had my weights up. there and I just ran right into the end. of the of the of my bar and it didn’t. hurt all that bad but I put my hand up. and it’s all bloody and stuff and so I. hacked it pretty good and you don’t want. to see it and I’m not going to show you. Jesus name no you know again we’re going.
To be doing this series on what the. Bible says about dating in marriage so. let’s pray and we’ll get into it father. we just want to come before you and Lord. we know that that dating marriage the. whole family thing is something that. Satan just really hates and he really. hates it because it’s it’s the I well. it’s just the the central unit to any. civilized society in the first place. and in the second place it is a picture. of your love for us and of our love for. you and Lord we’re gonna be talking. about some of those things or the single. people who are here I just pray that. you’d be with them and that you’d be. speaking to their hearts about the. things that you have planned for them. and the plans that you have that need to. be put into action even now even before. they get married and Lord for the rest.
Of us who are married Lord we know that. Satan loves to attack it and he wants to. tear it apart he’s been doing a great. job of of that in the United States and. just in the world in general and Lord as. we talk about some of those things God. we just pray that you’d be speaking to. our hearts that you’d show us where. we’re falling down and Lord that through. you we could pick it up and that we. could run with it we just ask that you. do this all in Jesus name Amen my next. joke is ancient it’s been said that. marriage is a threering circus. have you guys heard this the engagement. ring the wedding ring and suffering and. lots of people think that that’s exactly. what marriage is about. there was a widower who never paid any. attention to his wife while she was. alive and he now found himself missing. her desperately so he went to a psychic.
To see if he could contact his late wife. the psychic went into a trance a strange. breeze wafted through the darkened room. and suddenly the man heard the. unmistakable voice of his dearly. departed wife honey he cried is that you. yes my husband are you happy yes my. husband happier than you were with me. yes my husband then heaven must be an. amazing place I’m not in heaven dear. there’s a guy named Oscar Wilde he said. this the world has grown suspicious of. anything that looks like a happily. married life and you can you can see why. that would be true I’m one of the. richest men who ever lived was Jay paul. Getty and he said this I would give my. entire fortune for one happy marriage he. had a number of them he just wanted one. that was happy and you know it’s pretty. much the situation that we have in the.
World today a lot of people. are looking at the whole marriage. situation they’re just kind of opting. out you know they expect that you know. you’re gonna get a divorce and it’s been. said that the divorce rate is upwards of. 50 percent and you know that’s that’s a. little bit off we’ll talk about that in. a couple of minutes but you know the. question comes up can a man and woman. fall in love and stay in love and live. happily ever after that’s every little. girls dream that they get married and. live happily ever after I think that one. of the things that we need to be. focusing on is that we need to live. happily even after marriage and I think. that a lot of times the the reason that. marriages fail have a lot to do with. attitude and mindset you know we’re. gonna obviously be talking about. singleness and you know what if you’re.
Single and you’re wondering why you. don’t have anyone you need to not be. discouraged and that’s the first thing. the second thing is you need to not be. in a hurry and that’s that’s one of the. things that I run into all the time with. people who want to get married they. they’re just so into marriage they think. it’s going to fulfill them they think. that it’s going to it’s going to be the. thing that you know fills the emptiness. in their life and that kind of thing and. I’m not saying that it doesn’t do any of. that but that is not the primary thing. that we need to be focusing on you need. to be patient and we’re gonna talk a lot. about quality and not just immediacy in. in a couple of minutes here but you need. to be patient you need to not be. discouraged if you can’t find anyone yet. there are statistics in the United.
States nine out of ten people are going. to be married in the United States and. there are those people who just kind of. have the gift of singleness in fact the. Bible talks about that in 1st. Corinthians chapter 7 there are people. who have the gift of being singles. called celibacy in the Bible and if you. want to be married let me do it let me. just tell you you’re not one of those. people you have a desire to be married. you don’t have the gift of singleness. and if you have a desire to be married. I’m one of those guys who believes that. God has someone for you and it’s just a. matter of waiting for the Lord waiting. for his timing. and being satisfied with what God has. for your life up until this point you. know there are a lot of people who are. looking to the world for their cues on. what a successful relationship looks.
Like what a successful marriage looks. like and one of the things that we have. to get set in our minds is that the. world has no clue how to do a marriage. in fact I was going through and looking. at a number of articles this morning as. I was getting ready for this whole thing. and it was amazing some of the things. that these articles were talking about. that were the most important things that. you need to need to pay attention to in. Scripture and they were diametrically. opposed to what or excuse me in a. marriage. they were diametrically opposed to what. the Bible has to say the Bible is the. handbook is you know it’s the handbook. on living life it’s the handbook on how. my life is supposed to go how God’s. designed it and God is the one who made. marriage it wasn’t something that was. designed by people he set the whole.
Thing up and so it’d be a good idea if. we were paying attention to what he had. to say the divorce rate in the United. States according to the National Survey. of family growth they said that the. probability of a first marriage lasting. at least a decade was 68 percent for. women and 70 percent for men between. 2006 and 2010 this is when they were. taking these polls so 10 years of. marriage we got a 68 percent chance of. staying married for 10 years if you’re. married if you’re a woman and a 70. percent chance if you’re a man I don’t. know how they got the difference in. those two it would seem like they would. be exactly the same but apparently not. and so it’s it’s weird that men have a. greater chance of staying married but. the probability that it would last 20. years was 52% for women and 56% for men. and so when you’re when you’re looking.
At the divorce rate the American. Psychological Association said it’s. anywhere between about 40 to 50 percent. of married couples in the United States. are going to end up divorce that is not. good news. that is not good dints that’s actually. kind of scary and you know so you can’t. really look to society and you certainly. can’t look at celebrities for marriage a. lot of times a lot of times people are. looking at all these people that they’re. really amazed with whether they’re movie. stars or whether they’re rock stars and. these people are pitiful man I’ve got a. whole list of people and how long their. marriages last lasted Kid Rock Pamela. Anderson they got married you know how. long their marriage lasted four months. lasted four months Renee Zellweger and. Kenny Chesney four months it’s all on. their marriage lasted Lisa Marie Presley.
And Nicolas Cage three months I can kind. of understand that one Nicolas Cage is a. little weird then we have Pamela. Anderson again Pamela Anderson and Rick. Sullivan 60 days their marriage lasted. Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds two. weeks their marriage lasted Carmen. Electra and Dennis Rodman nine days. their marriage lasted Britney Spears and. Jason Alexander 55 hours this how. marriage lasted and so obviously you. know you got a you got a problem when. you’re looking at society and especially. if you’re looking at celebrities for. what a marriage means what marriage. means and what it’s supposed to look. like it’s just a bunch of nonsense you. know I think I’m I you know I’ve got. some qualifications for talking about. this stuff and so my first set of. qualifications is where I grew up my. mom’s been married ten times and so.
Married and divorced she’s divorced now. she’s been married in divorce ten times. and four of those times was when I was. in the house and what I saw in in that. situation was how not to do a marriage I. saw some things that a kid should never. see and my mom had obviously different. guys that she would marry and in between. those guys she had guys who lived with. us and and that kind of thing and so it. was a it was. pretty you know pitiful situation I have. a dysfunctional family actually. everybody has one the dysfunction is. called sin you know and so I have seen. marriage in the way that it’s not. supposed to be done I also have been. married for 35 years 35 years this year. my wife has actually stayed with me I. can’t believe it she’s not here this you. know tonight because she didn’t want to. hear me talk about marriage no I’m just.
Joking I already told you where she’s at. she’s taking my son over to to Bellevue. so that he can get ready for college but. I’ve been I’ve been married for 35 years. and so i nothi know something about what. it means to stick out stick things out. in the marriage I’ve been counseling for. 34 years and so over that 34 years I’ve. talked to numerous couples about their. marriage and actually most times when I. do counseling with people’s marriages it. is like at the end I have people who. walk in the door and they’re ready to. walk out and just go and get a divorce. and this is what I can tell you about. just about every single situation that. I’ve seen in marriage counseling every. single marriage could have been saved. every single one of them could have been. saved if those people were willing to do. what the Bible had to say and every time.
That a marriage failed in counseling it. wasn’t a failure of God and it wasn’t a. failure of the institution of marriage. it was a failure on the part of the. husband and the wife to actually do what. the Bible said you know a lot of times. when people come in to talk to me I go. are you a Christian and they’ve got. they’ll go well of course I am yes I am. I love Jesus and you know I you know I. follow him and then I go do you believe. the Bible and I go yes well of course we. believe the Bible you do you make the. Bible the standard for your life and. then they start getting a little bit. antsy at that point and then I’ll ask. them are you you know if. when when I go through and counsel with. you are you going to take the things. that I show you in the Bible and apply. them to your life whether you agree with.
Them or not are you going to do that and. that’s where you know it really gets. iffy with people because a lot of times. what people do is they go through their. life and they say yes I’m a Christian. yes I follow Jesus yes I want to do the. things that God wants me to do but when. it gets down to brass tacks and you. start opening up the Bible and you start. looking at what it actually has to say. about who you are what your marriage is. supposed to be like the kinds of. sacrifices that you’re supposed to be. making for the person who’s who’s. sitting next to you people start. disagreeing and when they start. disagreeing they decide that they can go. with something else and most times what. they’re going with is what they grew up. with or what their mommy said or what. their daddy said or what you know what. they’ve read it’s the kind of marriage.
Book and they’re not paying attention to. what the Bible has to say and that’s why. it fails just about every single time. actually I can’t I can’t say everything. just about every single time it is every. time that I’ve had a failure in a. marriage it has been that issue in and. of itself you know there are people who. will tell me that they have. irreconcilable differences if I hear. that word one more time I’m going to. scream you know I you know I’ve been. married for 34 35 years I have. irreconcilable differences with my wife. you know when I look at when I look at. my wife she’s bubbly I’m serious she’s. late I’m either early or on time she. makes me crazy it’s like we’re you know. I’m gonna teach in the in the. amphitheater I’m always there by myself. you know when when worship starts I’m. always finding someplace my family comes.
In late and makes me nuts it’s like I. never get to sit with my family so she’s. not here don’t tell her I said that. I like animals she copes with animals. she takes up all the space in the. bathroom and the garage and the shed and. the basement and the spare rooms and I. have little bitty spots my house she’s. cute I’m fat it’s all irreconcilable. nothing nothing works and again the. point is that when you get married to. somebody usually the person you get. married to is somebody that you’re. attracted to not because they act just. like you or look just like you or you. know or live just like you you’re. actually attracted to somebody who’s the. opposite of you and it’s something that. you need to keep in mind after you get. married you know before you get married. you need to have your eyes wide open and. after you get married you need to shut.
Them stop looking around at other people. and you know and blaming them for your. issues and and so you know anything can. be reconcilable marriages they’re. unraveling or unraveling because the. people in it are not applying the. principles of Scripture they are not. praying they’re not obeying and they’re. not applying what the Bible has to say. that’s why they unravel 60% of married. people I read another in another poll. consider themselves happily married and. so that’s good news. married people live longer I read an. article married people visit doctors. less and they’re more healthy than. unmarried people and so you know when. you look at those kind of statistics. maybe God knew what he was doing when he. you know when he put together the whole. marriage thing I don’t know what I would. be if I wasn’t married I’d probably be.
It you know diseased wreck or something. like that and that’s not to say if. you’re not married you’re second class. or something like that because God has. plans for everyone like I said before if. you’re not married and you have a desire. to be married I seriously believe that. God’s got somebody picked for you at the. very beginning Adam and Eve God had a. plan for Adam he looked at him and he. said it’s not good. that the man should be alone and then. what he did was he showed the man his. Alumnus and then what he did was he. brought a woman to him and I think that. that’s exactly the same situation that. God goes through with many of us. he shows us our need he shows us what. you know that that we can’t do this on. our own and then he has someone who’s. who he’s preparing to bring to us you. know so God’s got somebody picked for.
You and up until the point where if. you’re single and you’re going to get. married you need to be content with the. place that God has you that’s one of the. biggest problems I had before I was. married I was not content I was an usher. at my church my church had like you know. they probably had at the time about. 3,000 people in it and so I’m an usher. and I’m about 19 years old 19 20 years. old I’m at that point in my life and I. would be going down the aisles with the. bags we had bags like we do here at. church and I could be going down the. odds with a bag with the bags and I. always had my radar on it was like see. some girls some nice godly woman who was. happened to be very beautiful and all of. them you know I’m just zero in on her. I’d be like huh God you know that’s a. pretty girl maybe she’s the one you know.
That’s how I would think and it was like. I was just never satisfied with where. God had me and you know before before I. got married I had a lot of time on my. hands the the Bible again talks about. being content there’s a passage in. Philippians 4:11 it says not that I. speak in regard to need for I’ve learned. in whatever state I am to be content you. know when you’re when you’re looking at. the whole issue of marriage or getting. married what God wants is for him to be. first in your life God needs to be first. marriage is not going to fulfill you. unless he has that’s the way that it’s. supposed to go Jesus is supposed to. fulfill me and then when I get into a. marriage it’s gonna be awesome but if. I’m hoping that’s. some person is going to be the one who. fills my life and I’m not looking at the. person of Jesus I am going to be sadly.
Disappointed because every single one of. us has feet of clay. you know some of you are maybe dating. someone or you’re you know you’re going. out with someone you’ve got a girlfriend. you’ve got a boyfriend you’re like oh. Steve you don’t know you don’t know what. you’re talking about this person. fulfills me somebody’s leaves me little. notes on the car you know when I go to. work and he brings me flowers and you. you realize that’s gonna stop right what. that guy is doing is hunting he’s. hunting and once he bags you. he’s gotcha and so he doesn’t have to do. that stuff anymore and you’re like oh. it’s not going to be like that you know. how many times I’ve talked about and. they’re like he’s changed women women. don’t want their husbands well I’m not. gonna get into that in any case we need. to be content with where God’s got us.
There’s a passage in 1st Corinthians. chapter 7 in verse 27 Paul is speaking. and he says are you bound to a wife do. not seek to be loosed are you loosed. from a wife do not seek a wife and later. on in that passage Paul says this I want. you to be free from the concerns of this. life an unmarried man can spend his time. doing the Lord’s work and thinking how. to please him but a married man has to. think about his earthly responsibilities. and how to please his wife his interests. are divided in the same way a woman who. is no longer married or has never been. married can be devoted to the Lord and. wholly in body and in spirit but a. married woman has to think about her. earthly responsibilities and how to. please her husband I’m saying this for. your benefit not to place restrictions. on you I want you to do whatever will.
Help you serve the Lord best with as few. distractions as possible and so that’s a. that’s a principle that every one of you. guys that are single you need to get. that one down and it’s one of the things. that I really regret in my walk with God. because before I met Bobby like I said I. always. my radar on looking for the next girl. looking for the one who is gonna fulfill. me but will confer the one who’s old. who’s gonna be my wife and I would pray. and I go Jesus I love you but I can’t. hold you and you know there Steve would. be you know in the in the living room. with his guitar singing to the Lord. about how lonely and and how sad he was. and and that kind of stuff and what I. didn’t realize was that God had a timing. for the whole thing you know I got. married when I got married to my wife. she’s been a Christian for one year and.
The time that I was really going through. it and really griping at God all the. time about the fact that I didn’t have. anybody. my wife was even saved she didn’t even. know the Lord at that point and after. she got saved she needed to be walking. with God for a period of time or. actually when I got married to she’d. been married for two years when I. started dating her she had been married. for a year excuse me and and God had to. be at work and her before he could ever. hook her up with me because if we had if. we had gotten together before that point. it would have been a complete and total. mess wasn’t gonna work out and so God. had a plan in that situation there’s a. lot of you know when we talk about. prayer and God answering your prayers. you know I I would pray a lot about. getting married God who’s the woman for.
Me you know like I said is this the one. is that the one god make her the one all. of it you know if I had a girlfriend and. the relationship wasn’t working out god. please change her please make it good. please you know Wow Wow you know how. many you know how many prayers I prayed. over girls that were never gonna be my. wife and you know how thankful I am that. he didn’t answer any of them that’s like. I you know hindsight’s always 20/20 I. got married when I was 22 years old and. I looked back on some of the girls that. I dated before and you know girls that I. was just in love with all she’s the one. Lord gotta make it right she’s the one I. know you know this is it. it and you know they weren’t and it. shouldn’t have been and I’m you know I. look back on those relationships and I’m. like thank you Jesus thank you and.
They’re probably doing exactly the same. thing about me thank you nut case in any. case we need to be we need to be. satisfied with a place that God has us. when you when you look at other marriage. statistics here’s here’s a really. interesting one and this may have. something to do with the the whole. divorce rate thing because actually the. divorce rate has been going down over. time in this statistic I got it from an. another article it says by 2014 the. share of the u.s. adult population that. was married had dropped to 50% from 69%. in 1970 and it was 74 percent in 1960. this is what this means 1960 when you. looked at the American population. seventyfour percent of them were. married when you got to nineteen seventy. sixty nine just a little bit a little. bit less than 70% of the population was. married and now in 2014 is probably.
Lower now it was 50 percent and so part. of the reason that the that the divorce. rate has been dropping over the years. and it has dropped from the 1980s to. this day is because people just aren’t. getting married what they’re doing is. they’re shacking up and one of the. reasons that they do that is because. they think that what they have to do is. they have to try it out before they get. married. we need to see if we’re compatible and. what that is is nothing but a complete. and utter deception because when you. look at statistics for marriages. basically the stats for a firsttime. marriage is that you are going there’s a. there’s a good possibility between about. 40 to 45 percent that you are going to. get a divorce at some time in your life. okay so that’s just marriages straight. off if you have a second marriage the.
Second marriage has like a 60% chance of. failure and a. marriage has about a 70% chance of. failure so that’s just straight. marriages if you live with somebody. before you get married. 75% of marriages where the people live. with each other before they got married. fail within 10 years 75% you know why. because they think they tried it out. they think that they they checked it out. to see if they were compatible and that. kind of thing and that is not reality. you know the reality you guys when you. are dating someone when when you are. courting someone when you’re whatever. you want to call it when you’re hanging. out with someone whether it’s a guy or a. girl you are getting their best at that. point before you get married you’re. getting their absolute best they get up. in the morning they go on why wash their.
Face they brush their teeth the guys. comb their hair they shave that you know. if they’re not trying to grow a beard. and and that kind of stuff they do all. of that they you know they they put they. take the mints you know after you get. married there’s not a guy who knows what. what mouthwash is man yeah it doesn’t. I’m just messing around but what people. are doing is they have their best foot. forward and it’s exactly the same thing. when they’re living together when when. people are living together they don’t. have the commitment of a marriage and. both partners know it and so what. they’re trying to do is look their best. in that situation so whenever somebody. comes in and starts talking to me about. getting married one of the things that I. point out to them especially if I see. some problems in the relationship one of.
The things that I point out to them is. that you are seeing this person’s. absolute best right now and like I said. before I was joking around about guys. hunting it’s kind of the same thing with. ladies too when when a guy gets married. he net you know basically he gets. married and he doesn’t want his wife to. change and when a woman gets married she. thinks that she’s going to alter him. right actually I have a joke there was a. lady who was gonna get married and she. was worried about the. marriage ceremony she didn’t know you. know how it was gonna go and she was she. was afraid that she was going to mess. something up and so you know the her mom. right before the wedding ceremony said. honey all you got to do is remember this. you’re gonna walk down the aisle and. then you’re gonna go to the altar and. then you’re just gonna look at him.
That’s all you got to remember you can. walk down the aisle you’re gonna go to. the altar you’re gonna look at him and. so she she starts running that through. her head and as she’s walking down the. aisle she said I’ll alter. him I’ll alter him in any case you know. ladies will settle with the guy thinking. that they can change him and a guy when. he gets married wants his wife to look. exactly the same. and be exactly the same as as she was. when he got married for the whole rest. of her marriage of their marriage and so. you know a lot of times these these. expectations are obviously you know. they’re unrealistic so when again when. we’re looking at the whole issue of. marriage the Bible has a lot to say. about this stuff and you know we need to. be paying attention to what scripture. has to say so what’s the purpose of.
Dating so that’s what I’m talking about. I’m talking about dating so what is the. purpose of dating anybody know ya and. find your spouse to get married that’s. what the purpose of dating is it’s to. get married you always need to keep that. in mind when you’re looking at the. people that you’re going to be involved. with and again we need to have realistic. expectations of what we’re going to get. I was talking I didn’t finish my story. but basically guys when when they get. married what they’re doing is they’re. trying to win a wife and then after. they’ve won her you know like I said. before they bagged her and so why do I. have to do all that stuff I don’t have. to do the notes I don’t have to do the. flowers I don’t have to do that kind of. thing I’ve already bagged her and so. they just you know. kind of. kind of settle with that whole thing and.
Then again like I said before the women. have a tendency to settle with what a. guy is before they get married and then. want to change him after the purpose but. the purpose of dating is marriage once. you turn with me to Matthew chapter 19. Matthew chapter 19 it’s the first. passengers gonna look up this is. actually a passage on divorce we’re also. gonna look at that mark chapter 10. verses 11 and 12 if you want to get. ahead of the game and these are passages. where where Jesus talked was asked about. divorce and instead of talking about the. whole issue of divorce what he did was. he talked about marriage which is kind. of cool especially in our culture in. verse 3 it says the Pharisees also came. to him testing him and saying to him is. it lawful for a man to divorce his wife. for just any reason and he answered and.
Said to them have you not read that he. who made them at the beginning made them. male and female and said for this reason. a man shall leave his father and mother. and be joined to his wife and the two. shall become one flesh so then they are. no longer two but one flesh therefore. what God has joined together let not man. separate then they said to him why then. did Moses command to give a certificate. of divorce and to put her away and he. said to them Moses because of the. hardness of your hearts permitted you to. divorce your wives but from the. beginning it was not so and I say to you. whoever divorces his wife except for. sexual immorality and marries another. commits adultery and whoever marries her. who is divorced commits adultery and. we’ll get to the rest in in just a. minute so when Jesus was was talking.
About the whole issue of divorce what he. did was he went through any defined. marriage and this is good for us because. you get it from the mouth of Jesus what. marriage is supposed to be about and how. God designed the whole thing and what he. says first is have you not read that he. who made them at the beginning made them. male and female so who were the two were. that were there at the beginning Adam. and Eve so who’s Jesus talking about. Adam and Eve Jesus believed in Adam and. Eve. one of the things that’s interesting. about Jesus is just about every. controversial passage that you have in. the Old Testament Jesus talked about it. and so he talked about Adam and Eve this. is one of the passages that deals with. that he talked about Noah and the and. the ark and the flood that covered the. whole world he talked about that he.
Talked about sodom and gomorrah he. talked about Jonah Jonah in the whale. it’s actually great fish he talked about. Jonah he talked about all of those. things and he treated them as being. historical he talked about Sodom and. Gomorrah did I mention that I talked. about Sodom and Gomorrah and that whole. thing and so he’s talking about Adam and. Eve Eve here and he says when God made. them at the beginning he made them male. and female and here’s the point that. he’s making did Adam have a choice yeah. he did not he had no choice there was. only one man and one woman God didn’t. make Adam and Eve and Phyllis and you. know Joanie and Bambi for the midlife. crisis they didn’t do that it was one. man one woman and it was designed to be. for life there’s only one man and one. woman on the planet and the only other.
Women that are coming after that are his. daughters right and so that’s the that’s. the situation he didn’t make one man and. three women so that he could have them. all at the same time he didn’t pair him. up with an animal in pairing up with an. animal he didn’t make Adam and Steve he. made Adam and Eve and so what Jesus is. doing is going through him here in. defining marriage and marriage is. defined and in the Bible as a man and a. woman for life Jesus just dealt with. every aberration that we could come up. with. he didn’t make Adam and Eve and then. later on make another woman for him when. he got tired of Eve and then later on. make another woman for him after he got. tired of that one and then later on make. another woman for him after he got tired. with. with that of that one sono plural. marriage no serial marriage it’s just.
One man and one woman for life and. that’s God’s design that’s the way that. it’s supposed to go he said verse five. and for this reason a man shall leave. his father and mother and be joined to. his wife and the two shall become one. flesh so then they are no longer two but. one flesh therefore what God has joined. together let not man separate so the. second point that he makes is that when. they get married they’re supposed to be. one with each other and when you’re. talking about the whole one flesh thing. it’s the idea of their leaving their. father and mother and when he says. joined they’re in the original language. in Hebrew it’s literally the word there. to become glued together there to become. like that like they’re one and if you’ve. ever been around anybody who’s been. married for a period of time like a long.
Period of time you’ll notice how scary. it gets in the sense that they start. acting like each other I’m seeing this. more and more as I’m getting older you. know I’m kind of a rowdy guy and. actually I’ve calmed down over the years. I used to be way more rowdy than I am. now and I’ve calmed down over the years. and my wife has just gotten rowdier it’s. like it’s like well I was up here when. we got married and she was down here. when we got married you know what kind. of coming coming like this and we’re. kind of evening up here and she’s. becoming more like me and I’m becoming. more like her and that’s again the way. that it’s supposed to go we were to. become become one flesh the third thing. that he says in this passage is that God. designed marriage to be this unity of. two people they’re glad they’re becoming.
One in the sense that they have this. unified marriage in this unified heart. and this unified spirit with each other. it’s all unified and they’re not to be. separated because he’s designed it that. way and he’s not just talking about. Christian marriages there he’s talking. about marriage in general you know when. people get divorced it is not like you. know just cutting up a contract. everybody knows this you guys whenever. somebody comes up to me and says why. should I get married it’s nothing but a. piece of paper well if it’s nothing but. a piece of paper then why not go get it. and as soon as I say that they go. and the reason they that they don’t want. to go get the piece of paper and get. married is because they understand that. there’s a commitment that’s there they. understand that that once once they make.
That commitment it’s a big fat deal. everybody knows that and they try to. pretend like it’s nothing but a piece of. paper but it’s not and so when you when. a person gets divorced it’s not like you. know just tearing up a piece of paper or. reneging on a contract or something like. that they’re one flesh it’s like ripping. off an arm it’s like ripping off a leg. something’s missing that you always miss. for the rest of your life that’s the way. that it goes and again I have seen. people over the years I’ve seen a number. of people over the years who have gone. through divorces and it’s just an awful. thing it’s an awful thing all the time. they think that they got through it and. they think that they had an amicable. divorce and it just be ends up being a. train wreck every single time and the. Bible says that God hates divorce.
Because it covers your garments with. violence it’s the idea that it’s never. something that’s peaceful it’s never. something that’s kind it’s always. something that rips people’s hearts. apart and so God Jesus says that they’re. not to whoever whoever’s been joined. together man is not to separate they. bring up a passage out it’s actually. actually out of Deuteronomy 24 and they. say why then did Moses command to give a. certificate of divorce and to put her. away. number one Moses didn’t command it. wasn’t a command it was something that. was an accommodation and Jesus tells you. what the accommodation is about the. reason that the Pharisees are saying. this to Jesus if you look back up in. verse 3 it says they came to him testing. him they’re not just asking a question. on divorce and remarriage they’re. testing him and the test is this they.
Had nofault divorce this started in the. United States and in the 1960s down in. California I was a kid when it happened. and then my mom you know took advantage. of that whole thing. it’s called nofault divorce and when. you when you hear this whole thing with. unreconciled differences or. irreconcilable differences that’s where. it came from. and that’s not something that’s new to. the 60s it’s something that’s been there. forever and so 2,000 years ago that. that’s what the what the Jews were doing. in Israel and they were using a passage. out of the Old Testament that God had. given for divorces specifically to. protect women in the passage when a. woman got divorced she was to be given a. certificate of divorce so that nobody. could claim that she was immoral that’s. what it was for and so these guys had. decided that the the divorce could be.
For anything in fact in that passage in. the Old Testament it says if the man. sees any uncleanness in his wife. literally means any naked thing. uncovering of a naked thing so if he. sees any uncleanness in his wife and he. wants to divorce her he’s to give her a. certificate of divorce and so when you. get to the New Testament these guys. decided they were going to define. uncleanness and so one set of of Jews. who were following one rabbi taught that. the uncleanness was sexual immorality. and that’s obviously where Jesus comes. down on this whole issue the other group. taught that the uncleanness that Moses. was talking about in that passage was. anything that ticked the husband off and. so the uncleanness could be you burnt my. breakfast this literally in their. commentaries if your wife burns your. food you can give her a certificate of.
Divorce or if you say anything bad about. my parents if your wife says anything. rotten about your parents you can get a. divorce or if you’re walking down the. road and you see a girl who’s younger. and prettier than your wife and she. becomes unclean in your sight then you. can get a divorce that’s literally in. the commentaries that’s what these guys. said and Jesus is making the point that. that is not okay that is not okay and so. in verse 9 he says I say to you whoever. divorces his wife except for sexual. immorality and marries another commits. adultery and whoever marries her who is. divorced commits adultery and so the. only way out of a marriage in this. passage that Jesus is dealing with is. sexual immorality that is not adultery. it’s sexual immorality it’s not. intercourse it’s sexual immorality the.
Word in greek is porneia. and so pornea is defined as any kind of. sexual practice that is outside of the. bounds of what God is designed and so. that would include moba having sex with. another woman. it would include having an intimate. sexual relationship with another woman. without having sex with her. it would include that the word porneia. is a word that you know where you get. the word porno from it’s exactly the. same thing it includes incest it. includes molestation it includes. homosexuality it includes bestiality it. includes any kind of allottee you want. to come up with except for marriage. so sexual more immorality includes all. of those things and what Jesus says is. whoever divorces wife the divorces his. wife except for sexual immorality and. marries another commits adultery and. whoever marries her who is divorced.
Commits adultery turn over to mark. chapter 10 I wanted to show you that. Jesus is equal opportunity on this whole. thing in mark chapter 10 verse 11 and 12. it says whoever divorces his wife and. marries another commits adultery against. her and if a woman divorces her husband. and marries another she commits adultery. and so it’s not just pointed at the man. in in the sense of divorcing his wife. it’s also pointed at the woman back over. to Matthew 19 verse 10 he says his. disciples said to him if such is the. case of the man with his wife it’s. better not to marry you know why they’re. saying that well Jesus what Jesus just. said is if you divorce your wife and in. the other passage he talks about if your. wife divorces you for any reason other. than sexual immorality you’re not to get. remarried that’s what he just said and.
So when you when you look at it from. that point of view when I got married to. my wife what I just trust. her width was the whole rest of my life. I trusted her with with my companionship. with a woman I trusted her with that I. trusted her with any kind of physical. relationship I was ever going to have. with a woman and if she was going to. just go off and ditch me it would cause. me all kinds of huge problems and that’s. what Jesus that’s what the the disciples. are looking at you mean I have to trust. this lady I have to you know it’s like I. go into this marriage and unless the. only way out of this is if there’s any. sexual immorality and if we get out of. it on any other basis like this you know. burning the breakfast or talking bad. about your your inlaws or whatever then. it ends up being adultery and I can’t.
Get remarried I’m trusting her with that. what if she wigs out on me and again. when you’re when you’re looking at at. marriage you guys this is serious stuff. it’s serious you you are you you are. going into a relationship that is going. to be the most important one that you. have for all of your life besides your. relationship with the Lord you know when. people die they don’t think about you. know they don’t have regrets about the. fact that they didn’t have more toys I’m. a pastor I’ve talked to two people. who’ve died over the years they never. talk about their toys they never talk. about their job they never talk about. any of that stuff you know what they. talk about I wish I’d walked with the. Lord stronger they talk about their. faith you know you know what else they. talk about they talk about their family.
They talk about the regrets that they. have in the way that they treated their. wife or their husband or their brothers. or their sisters they talk about their. family and the other thing that they. talk about is friends and it goes in. that order it’s it’s their faith. I should have been following Jesus. because they’re about to go meet him and. it’s it’s their family and then it’s. their friends and it’s never anything. else it’s never anything else and you. need to you need to keep that in mind. you are you are going to when you get. into a marriage you are going into. thing that it’s going to change your. life forever and it’s going to be the. most important thing that’s going and if. you fail at it if you let it fall apart. and that’s what most people do if you. let it fall apart you’re gonna regret it. for the rest of your life and so when.
You’re going in you need to be paying. attention like I said when you go into. marriage you keep your eyes wide open. because the person that you’re dealing. with is somebody that you have to again. trust for the rest of your life you’re. putting yourself in a position where you. have to trust your mate and so when. you’re looking at someone that you want. to get married to you need to handle. this with prayer because God knows who. you’re supposed to be married to and you. know again just using my own example I’m. sitting there looking for every girl on. the planet hoping that she’s the one and. God had this whole thing set up for me. it was the weirdest thing because when. when I finally met my wife and we. started dating it was weird because it. was unlike any other relationship that. I’d ever had we know what we knew within.
About a month that we were gonna get. married I didn’t know that before I was. hoping and I was going for it groping. for it that kind of thing but I didn’t. know it and so within a month I knew. that I was gonna marry my wife and I. just you know sat there because I. basically I was I was sick of going out. with one girl after another girl after. another girl I was sick of the whole. thing and so I waited for a period of. time and then after we had been dating. for about six months we realized this is. it I couldn’t believe how you know how. she could put up with me you know and. actually the whole time that we were. dating the whole time that we were. engaged we had like one fight the whole. time and it wasn’t even a fight and the. reason is because she was faking me out. you guys that’s what that’s what was.
Happening you know but she’s yeah she. just put up with all my nonsense all the. time after I got married she wanted to. alter me but there’s some truth to that. too and in any case you need to be. praying about the the person that you’re. gonna get married to you know and again. Adam and Eve one man one woman for life. you know when you’re when you’re looking. at who’s going to be your main again. when you’re when when you’re dealing. with this stuff it needs to be something. that’s based on the Word of God Jesus in. Matthew 7 24 through 25 said this. therefore whoever hears these sayings of. mine and does them. I’ll liken him to a wise man who built. his house on the rock and the rain. descended the floods came the winds blew. and beat on that house and it did not. fall for it was founded on the rock and. then he talks about the foolish man who.
Built his house on the sand and when the. rain when the rain descended the floods. came the winds blew and beat on that. house it fell and Jesus said and great. was the fall of that house you know I I. grew up in Southern California and so I. was at the beach almost every single. weekend and one of the things that I do. with my nieces and nephews and my kids. when they were little is I’ll go down on. the beach with them and I’ll build. sandcastles with them and this is how it. that always works I can do it all. elaborately and you know the kids have. these little buckets and stuff that you. can you can make really cool castles and. then I show them how to drip sand on it. and you know make it you know kind of. wicked looking and it’s just it’s just. really fun and so we’ll build a whole. big old sandcastle and the kids will be.
All impressed and there will be my. little nieces or grandnieces now sitting. there with me building them and they’ll. sit there forever and we’ll build this. whole thing up and then I have my. nephew’s so guess what happens to my. sandcastle. every single time yeah at some point I’m. like it’s okay we can rebuild it you. know get over it he’s a boy that kind of. thing that’s what always happens and you. know you can go down to the beach you. know down down to you know what is it. Lincoln City and they have these these. events where they build big old huge. sand castles and they’re all elaborate. you know what happens to those right. some little kid comes over just destroys. them. and it’s going away when you’re looking. at your marriage when you’re looking at. the that the life that God’s got you got. for you in a marriage if it’s not.
Founded on the rock of Jesus’s word it’s. gonna be like building it on sand and. it’s all gonna fall apart. your house is only as strong as the. footings your house is only as strong as. the foundation it’s the same thing with. the marriage and so it’s important that. Christ be in the center of that so as. your marriage built on the rock or is it. on the rocks. because those are the two choices and. when you’re looking forward to marriage. same thing you know marriage is like a. walk with God it’s either progressing or. it’s reap putting attention and effort. to it and it’s growing or you’re. neglecting it and it’s suffering and. that’s the way that it goes sorry you’re. never gonna be on some plateau where. everything’s just going to be fine it’s. not going to work that way you have to. be putting effort into the whole thing.
And again you need to be paying. attention to what the Bible has to say. about this whole thing so when this is. the point especially you single people. when you are looking to get married you. need to be patient and you need to be. prayerful and you need to be paying. attention you need to find the right. person because divorce is not an option. there are biblical reasons for divorce. and Jesus gives one of them in here. there’s another one in 1st Corinthians. chapter 7 but Jesus but but divorce is. not an option in marriage I heard about. Billy Graham’s wife one time she was. asked if she had ever considered. divorcing Billy Graham and she said no. thought never entered my mind murder. and again that’s the way that it should. be wedlock should be a padlock wedlock. should be a padlock it’s the idea of. again if you get into a marriage and.
You’re going to you’re going to stay. there so we need to be looking at it. that way there are biblical standards. for a marriage biblical standards. specifically for a mate I was just. reading some articles again this morning. and one of them had to do with this it. said the article said 80% of singles. will not go on one date in 2017 80% and. it has to do with the information age. they call this dating app analysis. paralysis this guy said there are. literally thousands of mobile dating. apps and websites so many that for any. niche or abstract interest you can think. of there’s most likely a dating site for. it with virtually millions of singles. ready to connect. you would think dating should increase. the issue however is in that perceived. pool of daters the fact that users of. these sites and apps believe there is an.
Endless number of options creates a. dangerous psychological effect best. described in psychologists Barry. Schwartz book paradox of choice Schwartz. argues that more is actually less and. when presented with more options we. derive less satisfaction and happiness. moreover such abundant options often. cause an analysis paralysis where we. overanalyze it or overthink a situation. so that a decision or action is never. taken this is precisely what’s happening. with dating apps and sites today’s users. have what they believe are so many. options that they rarely connect with. the options they do have and when they. do connect they have little satisfaction. with their choices now I’m not saying. that you should you should look at a guy. and just look past all his faults but. every time that you look a person look.
At a person you’re going to find some. faults and that’s the way that it goes. you’re never gonna find the perfect man. you’re never gonna find the perfect. woman you know why because you’re not. the perfect man and you’re not the. perfect woman that’s the way that it’s. gonna be so we need to keep it in mind. he goes on in that article. and he says and he talks about the fact. that some of the some of the other. reasons for people not dating as much as. they used to is a cheapening of sex they. can they can get on an app and they can. they can do a hookup of midnight hookup. anytime that they want and there are. there are women who are willing to have. sex without any kind of boundaries and. have sex without any kind of commitment. and so that leaves all the other girls. out and when you’re talking about guys.
And especially guys who are. nonchristians that’s where they go. that’s where they go and it ends up. messing all kinds of stuff up there is a. drop in their attitude towards the value. of marriage 67% of Millennials. see no value in marriage they can’t. define a date when you ask 10. Millennials you get 10 different answers. about what a date is. and then fifthly they have a lack of. belief specifically the ladies they. wonder if there are any good men left. and with the with the guys same thing. they wonder if there are any good women. left here’s another article that I read. the end of young love dating is in. decline among the I generation did you. know that there’s an AI generation 1995. to 2006 oh excuse me 2012 if you were. born between 95 and 2012 you’re called. the I generation because you grew up. with the Internet you grew up with all.
Co the iPhone and and all that kind of. stuff. teenagers from this group have grown up. with social media and smartphones. meaning they spend far more time. socializing with one another online than. they do in person. the decline in dating corresponds to. dwindling sexual activity among this. cohort professor twinge has found that’s. the first thing about the internet or. the iPhone that I’ve ever seen that was. positive this is drawing on surveys of. 11 million young people and a series of. indepth interviews she found that. teenagers in their final year of school. are going out less often than 13. yearolds did as recently as 2009. professor Twitter twinge also noted that. 56% of 14 to 18 year olds went out on. dates in 2015 whereas for Generation X. and baby boomers it was around 85. percent it’s gone from 85 percent down.
To 56 percent meanwhile sexual activity. among 14 and 15 year olds is dropped by. almost 40 percent since 1991 the average. teenager now has had sex for the first. time by the time there are 17 years old. a full year later than the average. Generation X and so again one of the. things that ends up happening in the. culture that we’re in is the standards. start getting tweaked and you people. have this whole idea of perfection that. doesn’t deal with any kind of reality. but on the other hand you have what the. Bible has to say about marriage and. what’s supposed to be happening let’s do. it let’s deal with the first one I’m. this actually this is probably going to. be the last one well I don’t know we’ll. see. terr over to second Corinthians chapter. 6 we started about 7:15 didn’t we yeah. first Corinthians or second Corinthians.
Chapter 6 you guys are familiar with. this passage Bible talks about no. unequal yoke and again what we’re. talking about is the standards for a. mate and in 2nd Corinthians chapter 6 if. you look down in verse 14 it says this. do not be unequally yoked together with. unbelievers for what Fellowship has. righteousness with lawlessness what’s. the answer to that none what communion. has light with darkness what’s the. answer what what Accord has Christ with. Belial it’s a name for the devil none or. what part has a believer with an. unbeliever what’s the answer it’s not. talking about the idea of I never talked. to an unbeliever or I’m always mean to. unbelievers or anything like that the. Bible is clear on the fact that we’re. supposed to love the people who around. us but there are relationships that we. are not supposed to have with them by.
The way this says nothing about marriage. this is not a marriage passage this is. this is just a passage on how we’re. supposed to be dealing with the people. who are around us he says what agreement. has the temple of God with idols for. your the temple of the Living God as God. has said I will dwell. them and walk among them I will be their. God they shall be my people therefore. come out from among them and be separate. says the Lord do not touch what is. unclean and I will receive you I’ll be a. father to you and you shall be my sons. and daughters says the Lord Almighty and. so one of the things that I need to keep. in mind is that when I’m looking at any. kind of relationship that I have with. with somebody I am not to be bound. together with an unbeliever and so that. obviously includes marriage even though.
It’s not about marriage it includes. marriage that obviously actually it. includes business dealings and the point. that Paul is making there with the whole. thing with an unequal yoke it’s a. passage out of the book of Deuteronomy. and in the Old Testament God said I. don’t want you to yoke an oxen with a. donkey and it’s kind of a dumb thing for. God to say because these were people who. had donkeys and oxen and they knew how. to plough a yoke was was a device that. they put over the back backs of an. animal’s the necks of an animal it was. used for pulling a plow it was also used. for steering somewhat but mostly for. pulling a plow and if you took two. animals who were of different kinds and. you put that yoke on there on their neck. they have different gates have you ever. have you ever done anything where you.
Hooked arms with a bunch of people and. you tried to walk together that’s why. that’s what being in a yoke is you’re. hooked up with somebody and you’re. trying to walk with them and if that. person is bigger than you or that animal. for example an ox is bigger than a. donkey if the ox is bigger than a donkey. then what the Ox is gonna do is push. them off the path and the donkey being. weaker is going to pull the Ox off the. path you’re going to have a double. whammy going on in that situation and. even if they were exactly the same size. they have different kinds of legs and so. it would end up being exactly the same. kind of thing so why is God saying that. is he up in heaven going I hate it when. your when your fear fields are plowed. and they’re all crooked don’t do that. that’s not what he’s talking about he’s.
Using that as an illustration of our. relationships with each other and when. when you’re when you’re looking at that. whole thing these guys were. or MERS that’s not something that you. have to tell a farmer they already know. that and so when when when Moses would. say that tongue don’t have an unequal. yoke don’t ya yoke a donkey with an ox. they would be sitting there going what. the world you saying that to me for. anybody knows that you think we’re. stupid who would do that only an idiot. would do that you know and what he was. talking about is our relationships that. we have with other people so an unequal. yoke was two animals of different kinds. a donkey and an oxen an unequal yoke is. also two animals of different strengths. and so if you have a large ox and a. small ox. it’s an unequal yoke and exactly the.
Same thing is going to going to be. happening if you have a strong ox and a. weak ox. it’s an unequal yoke and the thing that. the stuff is still going to be happening. and what it does is it drives you off. the path what Jesus wants is a. relationship with him where we’re going. straight ahead where we’re not veering. off to the to the left or veering off to. the right we’re just going in the way. that God’s designed for us and with you. know where you can you can have the best. of motives in hooking with somebody in. an unequal yoke well I’m just gonna save. them really how many people have you. ever saved you know I’ve been I’ve been. preaching the gospel for four decades. and thousands of people who have come to. the Lord you know how many of them I’ve. saved zero we don’t save anyone that’s. the job of the Holy Spirit it’s not my.
Job to save them it’s my job to tell. them and then God works in their heart. and draws them to himself and so that’s. the first thing it’s you need to make. sure that you don’t have an unequal yoke. and so you need to be looking at your. relationships and see what’s going on. there the reason that I back slid was. because of this passage right here I did. not pay attention to it I thought I. could be exempt from it and I hung out. with guys who I still love they’re my. friends they were my friends back then. I’m still friends with them. I’m just not tight with them because. they don’t follow the Lord actually now. some of them are. and it was because of my witness later. on not while I was hanging out with them. and so you know what you can have the. best of intentions and you need to you. need to understand that it doesn’t.
Matter what your intentions are if. you’re disobeying the word then you’re. going to have real problems with this. imagine you know every time that you. wake up next to the person that you’re. going to be married to realizing that. they could give a rip about the Lord. that you love and serve the guy that you. love the most the one who saved you and. they could give a rip about him don’t. want to have anything to do with them in. fact have a problem with you following. him whether you’re a girl or whether. you’re a guy think about the fact that. you wake up every night and you roll. over and you look at this guy or you. look at this woman and if Jesus came. back tonight they’d be left and he’d. take you home to be with him think about. the fact that there’s a good possibility. that they’re going to go through their.
Life because it’s it’s a 50/50 type of. situation I either choose for him or I. choose against him and actually it gets. worse than that because jesus said that. mostly this the people on this planet. are going to choose against him and so. there’s at least a 50/50 possibility. that the person I’m married to the one. that I care about the most on this. planet is going to help and that that is. not what we’re supposed to be doing it’s. not how we’re supposed to be living it. is not how life is supposed to go it’s. not what God’s designed for you you know. there’s a passage in 1st Corinthians 739. and says this a wife is bound by law as. long as her husband lives but if her. husband dies she’s at liberty to marry. to whom she wishes only in the Lord and. that’s the standard and so what I’m. looking for when I’m looking for a.
Spouse is a godly person I’m looking for. somebody that I can be equally yoked. with in fact I’m looking for somebody. who loves the Lord more than they love. me that’s one of the things that that my. wife and I have always kept in mind when. we. at our marriage I know that my wife. loves Jesus more than she loves me and. she knows that I love Jesus more than I. love her and that’s the thing that’s. kept us together because even though I’m. a Christian and my wife’s a Christian. I’m a pastor and she’s a pastor’s wife. we have fights and they’re gnarly ones. you can ask my daughter do you fight. gnarly daughter yes I just embarrassed. her in any in any case we still fight. and you know the thing that keeps us. together is our commitment to follow. Christ that’s what that’s why I’m been. married for 35 years it’s not any other.
Reason it’s not any other reason so. Jesus has to be first and that’s where. I’m gonna end it tonight and then we’ll. pick it up next time actually next time. Matt did you do it you’re doing next. Wednesday right yeah up goes the Hat you. know so I’m gonna be at a conference. next week and so Matt’s going to come in. and he’s going to pick it up next week. and then I’ll be back the week after. that so is that good stuff yeah Bible is. awesome on this stuff you’re gonna we’re. gonna we’re gonna get into more of this. stuff later on and actually what the. standards are and that kind of stuff and. it’s just really cool God wants to bless. your marriage God wants to bless your. life he designed marriage to be. something that is good like like God. said about Adam it’s not good that the. man’s alone and that’s that’s absolutely.
The case it was not good for Steve. whinnery to be alone you know it doesn’t. directly apply necessarily to my wife. but it probably wasn’t good for her to. be alone either. in any case God wants to bless your. marriage he wants to bless you and he. wants to be in the center of those. things so let me pray for you and we’ll. get out of here father I just thank you. again for your word Laura I just prayed. that the things that we’ve talked about. this evening will be stuff that would. just get settled in our hearts and we. would realize the the wisdom that you. have in these issues Lord you have a. design for marriage you’re the one who. designed it you’re the one who made it. and Lord you have a design for each one. of our marriages and so God as we go. through and we started exploring what. the Bible has to say about those things.
Ultimately we can come at these things. and we can be kind of coldcocked on the. on the fact that I never knew that or I. didn’t know that this is what this was. about and that kind of stuff but. ultimately what you do is you change our. minds you make us more like you we just. pray that you would help us to be like. that I mean about we made a lot of. mistakes by thinking that I knew better. than you and god I just pray for the. people that are here this evening that. they would make the same mistakes you. know what you’re doing you know what. you’re talking about. and so god I just commit them into your. hands pray that you would just be. blessing them this week as they’re. reading the word as they’re getting into. the to the Bible this week I just pray. that you’d be speaking to their hearts. or as they’re praying I just pray that.