So dating in singapore and she was telling me she’s like you know i i want to move to . australia and i was like why and she was like i just can’t find anyone here. hey everyone it’s emily the fangirl i get this question asked a lot i don’t know why but people . seem to be fascinated with my personal love life and i don’t know if it’s just a friend thing or . a family thing but people back at home in san francisco have been asking me this as well as my . friends local and expat here in singapore so today we are going to discuss the dating life of me as . an asian american woman in singapore so to preface this this is purely based on my experiences i’m . not going to speak on behalf of like all women dating in singapore especially expat women . don’t get butt hurt by this because again this is my experience and i’m sure people have had.
Multiple kinds of experiences found love and i don’t know just had success but again this is . purely my own experiences so take it with a grain of salt and let’s begin back in san francisco the . male to female ratio was very unevenly distributed for a woman’s advantage so you would have like . four guys to one girl in the bay area you have a lot of homogeneous guys you know techies . specifically engineers who live in the bay area and if you’re a girl it was great because you . had a lot of dating options if you were a guy it sucked because you’re competing with every other . tech guy who worked at a fang company or you know started a startup or worked at a startup et cetera . so i’m using that as also a comparison to my experience dating in singapore . so dating in singapore uh it’s interesting i think it’s something that i’ve never experienced in my.
Life even when i was overseas studying abroad i never used dating apps i used dating apps . back in the us but here i think the popular ones obviously are tinder which to me is more of like a . hookup app i tried tinder but it’s really not for me and i can explain more in detail hinge which . is quite popular back in san francisco it reads like a magazine and i actually really like the . interface so kudos to hinge for creating a really great app and they fall in between like you know . coffee meets bagel and tinder i think hinge is like right in the middle so you can . i hope you understand that like spectrum for coffee meets bagel i would say coffee meets . bagel is very much about dating to get married everyone is like super super serious on that app . and i think they date with intention and that’s not a bad thing i think people on coffee meets.
Bagel are a lot more serious and the whole idea is that you know you’re in it to win it . i’m kidding i don’t think that’s their like byline at all but i just made it up and um fun story i . actually met the cofounder of coffee meets bagel once when i went to an event in san francisco and . yeah i met her and she was on shark tank it was really cool so very inspiring cofounder . there’s like three korean sisters and i really just think coffee coffee meets bagel is a pretty . good app as well the other one that i’ve never used until i got here in singapore was bumble . which bumble is an app specifically designed for woman to make the first move i think the . conversation doesn’t begin unless the woman initiates and to me i’m like that’s great because . i mean i initiate conversations anyway so it doesn’t really matter but.
I do like bumble so in terms of ranking i would say i like bumble hinge coffee meets bagel and . last but not least i i don’t like tinder but i would put tinder at the bottom i just don’t . like tinder just really creepy guys on there and you get an interesting mix you get an interesting . mix i will say though that dating in singapore is quite refreshing because i don’t feel like any of . the guys i’m dating is going to kill me or murder me i think it’s just i just feel like dating . online or meeting a stranger in singapore is a lot safer than dating and meeting someone in the u.s . i’ll let you think about that and i’m not going to explain why but that’s just what i think what is . it like dating as an asianamerican woman here in singapore well i think the first thing is in some.
Ways i do location i can easily blend in if i don’t say anything but in actuality i think a . lot of it comes down to culture and identity i think regardless in some way shape or form you . still are an expat because of the way that you speak the way that you come across . the different language or lingo that you use it’s not a bad thing but i’ve definitely felt like . for me because i don’t know how long i’m going to stay here sometimes people treat . me differently because they don’t see anything long term with someone like me who is an expat . i think for me i try to date with intention and just see what’s out there but i will say that . a lot of them tend to ask me oh like how long am i staying how long have you been around . here or some people tend to think oh she’s just an expat like she’s just gonna have fun.
And i just want to have fun too so it’s an interesting concept trying to date and . i think a lot of the people here specifically like singaporean men are quite filial and you know . there are some who’ve never left singapore and um their thinking is very different right because . it’s like anyone who has never left their home country it is very narrowed down to a specific . type of thought because if you’ve never seen anything outside of the world you don’t develop . a different mindset and then there are some guys some singaporean guys who have traveled all over . the world super super highly entrepreneurial and you know they want to conquer the world but they . can’t because their family is here i found that i tend to get along better with the guys who . have traveled overseas and just enjoy talking about you know different facets of life and i.
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Will say that i have not dated another expat here in singapore and specifically because i don’t want . to um i think the expat community is small and i just don’t really want to do that yet so we’ll see . i don’t know i think it’s just interesting for me i’m just you know doing ground research but . i will say that i’ve had a lot of girlfriends tell me that the dating pool is quite small . and it’s hard to date here because a lot of people they date their high school sweetheart or their . college sweetheart or you have a lot of families living in singapore who have already established . partners they have children because singapore is so friendly for families and then a lot of single . people are transient so they’re here for a year or two years they’re here for a program they’re . here for an mba in seatt or they’re here for you know on the company dime so you really get this.
Think that it’s really hard trying to put up a front and be you know on your . best behavior every time you meet someone so i’ve been on a few dates here and there and . you know some guys are really great and kind but it’s just hard it’s i mean in any type of context . dating has just been interesting you know i’ve i’ve met guys who all they want to do is just . talk about themselves and i’m like why am i on the stage and then i’ve met guys who are very sweet . but they lied about their height you know because i’m i’m actually really tall for an asian and i . don’t like it when guys lie about your height like you don’t think we’ll notice but we do like . we notice if you lie about your height so don’t lie about your height and i think the third thing . is maybe i don’t know what i want myself right like maybe i think i wanted to put.
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Out feelers there to see if i could find my lifelong partner as well but obviously . i haven’t and maybe the universe is telling me that i need to focus on myself before trying . to find a partner to fulfill that part of me i mean i’ve learned a lot dating here as an . expat am i still dating no i’m not i deleted all the apps and i was like i’m done i just don’t want . to date anyone i don’t really want to meet any new guys i just want to focus on myself and work on . the things that i’m passionate about and i don’t see anything wrong with that but i do understand . the sentiment that i’m getting from my friends that the dating pool is smaller here in singapore . in this population this small citystate you meet incredible people from all over the world . but the dating pool is small and if you think about it it’s like you know if you have a specific.
Type and you want them to be single you want them to be great and you want them to be a certain type . of personality you’re just narrowing it down and narrowing it down and you’re not left with a lot . of options because again singapore is small and i don’t know it’s just harder to find someone . so i think for me i’m not going to look for it anymore i think i still have time . fortunately and it’s not a priority just yet i want to do whatever i want to do . and if i find a partner in the future that matches my personality and is very complementary to . my lifestyle then great right like that’s awesome but dating as an expat is kind of exhausting and . dating with intention means more to me than just not dating with intention and i will say if you’re . an expat and you want a date like go like have fun experience the world like meet new people.
It’s totally fine like you should do that if you want to but um if you get burnt out too like just . understand you need to rest because it can get really exhausting so really i’m just caught in . between two different types of thinking where one i think dating is kind of a necessity if i wanna . find a life partner because they’re not gonna find me in my pajamas at home or they’re not gonna . find me miraculously like on the street and be like oh my god you’re the one for me right like i . think a lot of it is like needing to put yourself out there and meeting new people so i think that’s . one aspect i will continue to do which is put myself into opportunities where i can meet new . people and if i meet someone cool then great great and then the second part of me is why am i looking.
So hard and do i even need to look so hard because i have this weird philosophy that if you look too . hard for something you’ll never find it so anyways i just wanted to like echo my sentiments to . you guys because i feel like i’ve been getting this question a lot i don’t know why everyone . is so interested in the dating culture here in singapore but i mean it really just falls on a . spectrum right some people date for fun and they have like casual sex and do whatever they want . and that’s fine but i will caution you that the world is small in singapore so if you’re . gonna be an you’re going to be a dick or you know you go someone just know that like . your reputation might follow you because the dating community or like the expert community . is really small so just be careful of that dating is a lot around going at your own pace if you find.
That you’re getting burnt out and you just don’t want to do it you don’t need to do it you know . you don’t need to date but i think the idea is that you’re putting yourself out there from time . to time and you’re not just at home watching netflix binging bridgeton which i’m doing but . so anyways i hope that was insightful i feel like i went in depth about my own . dating experiences and my thoughts around it if you’re curious about what it was like dating in . singapore there you have it if you just want to keep up or . ask questions or follow along on this journey of mine please hit subscribe and comment below what . you think and maybe if you’ve dated before in singapore as an expat or you’re a local i would . love to hear about your personal experiences with dating online so thanks see you next time.