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In this video we’re going to talk about. my seven culture shocks of dating a. german. uh i’m latina she’s german and there was. definitely some culture shocks when we. first started dating. so stick around if you want to know. which ones hey i’m jen. and i’m yvonne from where we help expat settle into life in. germany more. smoothly so shock number one. i would say let’s see what i have on my. list oh yeah the directness. you are so brutally honest i would say. but you i mean not you. i don’t know what you’re talking about. but i mean like germans in general. so i have this example that we were in a. farewell party from uh. she’s uh she’s a spanish friend and she. was moving to ireland. we were at a farewell party and as we. were saying our goodbye she was like. okay you’re gonna come and visit. like we’ll see you in in dublin blah.

Blah blah and i was like yes of course. yvonne’s response like super serious was. no and i was like. i kicked her on their table i’m like. what do you mean no like we’re going to. visit. and she’s like no i’m sorry like for. this year we already planned all our. vacation days we already have everything. booked. we don’t have any more free like free. days that we can take. and maybe next year we can talk about it. again i mean why should i say yes if i. already know it’s not gonna happen. out of politeness but then i’m giving. first of all false hopes and i’m. breaking my own word and my word. means everything yeah so that’s the and. which is which is a fair point totally. understandable right. but in latin america or at least in. guatemala we say yes to everything yeah. you double triple book. one night yeah that’s true you might.

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Have three events in the evening. and you might not go to any or you might. just go to one how rude. i know so me as a german if someone says. he’s gonna come for the evening. i buy the food i prepare the food and. then you don’t show up. that’s the worst thing you can do okay. but that’s different right like okay. that’s if you’re inviting one person. back to parties and these events right. and also if someone invites you to their. country you say yes will you ever go. maybe are you still in touch with the. con with the person when you get there. maybe but you still say yes but i mean i. get your point however. if i say maybe it is a maybe and. everyone can handle that if i said no. they might be offended but then if they. can’t handle that it wasn’t the first. good friend to begin with so now i’m. used to it i’m used to this opening and.

If i say yes. you really know that i mean it and it. will gonna happen and we’re gonna happen. it will happen it will happen. so now i’m used to this directness and. actually i appreciate it because it’s an. honest thing and germans you know if. it’s a no it’s a no. they have no problem saying no to your. face and without giving an explanation. did you say no. i just don’t feel like it and you have. to deal with it yeah so that was. shock number one but now it’s better now. i think i’m also quite direct not as. direct as you’re very germanized but but. more indirect okay thing number two on. my list is like the independence. that is in relationships again i’m. putting this from a latin american. perspective. right like we are very clingy to each. other and we’re like very jealous i. would say like. there’s no way that you would allow your.

Significant other to go to a party alone. or if you’re at a party for that person. to talk to other people or like. to another person that they might be. attracted to and in germany that’s like. not the case at all. yeah that sounds like i’m being. captivated by someone right and this is. how like latin american love is supposed. to be right like you’re supposed to yeah. oh no like if you whatever you know. in your first dates or if you’re on. online portals looking. you know scouting possible interests. um one of the biggest things you always. see you know independence my. independence is the most important thing. and that’s being lived that’s being. lived. for a night out um for doing your own. hobby for. going on vacation with your best friend. instead of your your your significant. other. in any any any part of life yeah and.

Actually i’ve had like. situations where i meet people at like a. party or a bar and and. they’re with their friends and they’re. getting pretty drunk and. and like i don’t know it comes to to. conversations oh yeah my girlfriend. she’s also. either at another party or she’s at home. or she’s working. and does she know you’re here yeah. totally she might come and pick me up. later actually. how cool is that from latin america you. know passionate perspective that’s. that’s that wouldn’t happen but that’s. that’s a cool thing i find it okay so. another like culture shock from a latin. american perspective is the fact that. you can sleep like you can take a. girlfriend or boyfriend home. and you can sleep in the same room in. your parents home. like that is like a what that for me was. very shocking. right because like first of all sex is.

Taboo in latin america and second of all. there’s no way so. why would the person sleep over right. and and if they do. they would sleep on the couch okay so. first of all we also have to say here. this might not be. so okay in every german family but like. the majority. i would say the majority but let’s not. say in every german family and we’ve had. the topic of nudity before and also i. i know germans who were not that. comfortable with nudity and didn’t grow. up as. liberal as i did maybe yeah or most of. germans did or whatever or. friends that weren’t in a sports team. and didn’t grow up with because in. sports team you experience a lot of. nudity. um so let’s just let’s just let’s just. generalize. it’s not all germans but a big chunk. yeah but it’s. and second of all why is your assumption. that just because you sleep in the same.

Room the same bed that you have to have. sex. yeah that is the thing i don’t know it’s. how i grew up i guess yeah yeah so that. i find it cool as well to have that. trust right. and also like why is it not okay yeah i. don’t know but it’s just again a. cultural thing right. oh my god and one of my favorite things. is number four and i love this about. like germans i would say europeans well. no. i would say maybe italians are an. exception but like. germans you’re not very dramatic oh i. would okay. don’t say european okay and don’t just. take the italians out they are more. southern blood nations that’s what i. mean like maybe the italians are a bit. more dramatic but like and the spanish. and the french okay yeah okay so germans. i would play pointed to germans. germans are not very dramatic and i have. a very nice story to demonstrate this.

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Um so we were having dinner um let me. backtrack a little bit. so if you know a little bit of the latin. american culture you know that we have. these things. called like the telenovelas right like. the soap operas where it’s all about the. people you know germans also have soap. operas yeah yeah but i would say they’re. not at like the la. like the lenovos are like famous. worldwide right because they’re like. overdramatic. and i would say love in latin america. tends to be a little bit like that right. it’s very dramatic it’s very like why. you know it’s very naggy not all of it. obviously but it’s. it’s not uncommon so we were having a. party at a latin american. uh friend of ours and they were like. full of latin americans and we were like. speaking spanish yvonne understand some. spanish. and during the conversation this was in.

The first six months i was going to say. the very beginning when he started. dating yeah so we didn’t really know. each other like that well right. and during the conversation uh back in. the day also my german was not that good. i was. it’s not amazing now but i understand a. lot more and i can speak a little bit. more. um so milan american friends they were. asking me so like now that you’re dating. a german you’re obviously. gonna you know get more involved with. learning german you’re gonna go to like. a school or to get a class you know like. join a course and i was like no what do. you mean no like you’re gonna meet maybe. the granny and the parents and they. probably don’t speak english so how are. you gonna go about that. whenever that happens we will see but. for now like i don’t see the reason why. i should.

Like invest i don’t know i was not very. like surprise. like pressure to to learn german at the. time ivan was listening to the whole. conversation. it was like a big discussion like you. know you have to respect like ivan’s. culture and blah blah blah. suddenly yvonne like gets up out like. gets up she goes. she leaves and it’s been like 20 minutes. and she doesn’t come back. so this is how the latin american mind. works. all my friends started telling me she’s. gonna like break up with you man like. she’s gonna leave you because you just. said now. in public that you don’t respect her. culture you don’t want to learn her. language. like you don’t care about what the. family thinks of you and like blah blah. to the extent that i started to get like. super worried right and i’m like where’s. yvonne and everybody’s like i don’t know.

I haven’t seen her i think she left. what do you mean she left and then i. tried i think i tried to call you or. whatever and you didn’t answer for some. reason. and i’m looking for you in this house. and suddenly i like knock in the. bathroom and you’re like yes. and i’m like that’s how i call her like. yvonne are you there. yeah are you okay yes totally what are. you doing. oh i’m just watching some instagram. videos because you know it was too much. spanish for me on the on the table and. it was too much do you understand what. we were talking about yeah. and are you okay yeah. i was just you know i just needed a. break a lot a break from latinoism. um i’m totally fine yeah. so like not dramatic at all oh if it. would open like a latino like partner it. would be like and then. the best thing is when we walk back to.

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The into the room together to like to. the friends. they are looked at us like are you okay. like and that’s just like hey guys and. they’re like. are you okay like do you feel okay like. do you need water do you want me to call. someone. it was so funny so this shows to. i mean i want to say there’s not we. talked about this the other day not. because you’re not dramatic doesn’t mean. there’s no passion. right in the relationship very important. yes it’s just that you’re not you’re not. very. i don’t know like emotionally draining. in that sense i would say. yeah i would say i had two dramatic. moments in like six years yeah of our. relationship yeah and i had one so who’s. the latino now. so that’s pretty cool okay thing number. five on my list and that has to do with. the general like german uh. culture and that has to do with.

Insurances. if you’re gonna date a german you gotta. be prepared to have like i’m pretty sure. like some germans even come like with. their documents to some days and be like. these are the insurances that i got. which ones do you have. you’re going to end up talking about. insurances and if you don’t have the. right insurances. oh their face can be disappointed. cool no i’m not disappointed more like. shocked. so when we first started dating at this. point i didn’t have what it’s a very. very german insurance to have which is. the. huffling fazeon huffling how do you call. it haft fleet. half flit physical there you go. and every german has this right yes. well let’s say like 81 percent okay. according to the statistics that we said. earlier. 81 81 of germans have this and when we. first started dating i had been in.

Germany for like two years or so. and i didn’t have this insurance and i. don’t know why i’m telling you it comes. up in conversation we talked about. assurances and i told her oh i don’t. have this like whatever. like and i was like wait hold on what. yeah and it was a big deal and then here. comes the speech of like why it’s so. important to have it in germany. like you definitely need to have this. insurance and then like the same speech. that also my bank woman told me like. if you break something you are liable in. germany and you can get sued. because what is the rule that you you. are liable. for all the damages you cost to a third. party right correct so if i would. the very simple example that i was told. is like imagine you’re in a friend’s. house and then you sit on their glasses. you break them you have to pay for them.

I mean that who cares like if you can. pay the glasses yourself but. the moment where it becomes crucial to. have it is when it’s when you cause an. accident by either maybe. or whatever you look at no keep talking. let’s say i cross the red light. and then this causes an accident with. cars i’m also liable for that and i have. to pay a big amount of money because. then there are cars. included people maybe they need to go to. the hospital. they need some uh right so the big chunk. the most important part is here the met. possible medical uh expenses that you. allow. because medical expenses i mean in. germany they’re not like. in the us where just like boom you know. they they they just skyrocket. um but they still are expensive and. obviously depending on what happens. even if it was in an unintentional yeah. um.

It could be millions and you’re liable. so there is your live rune. so after the speech what did i do the. next day i got myself so i’m half. licked half flesh half flicked per. second. by the way you know we have a whole. article about that. why what where what why what where what. yeah. and which one obviously uh so have a. look if you’re interested or if you feel. the need of it better. so yeah okay um okay. thing number six on my list uh or if. you’re in latin from latin america. number six. is that i don’t know if all germans but. i have had a couple. of including some friends that we know. uh that. you like to sleep with the window oh yes. love it. why so it is it doesn’t matter if it’s. like minus 20 degrees celsius outside. wouldn’t get that cold here but even if. it would when we’ve been skiing and it’s. minus 20. the window’s still open.

Yeah yeah fresh air fresh oxygen german. i mean come on. when you sleep all night long in a room. that is closed off. and then you wake up in the morning go. to the bathroom you come back into your. bedroom. isn’t it totally sniffy and like just. ugh like not fresh air and then. you’ve given your brain like that air. for like eight hours i. i don’t know i grew up all my life. sleeping with the windows closed and i. think i’m fine. yeah yeah i know so i mean i think. you’re fine but no i want. my i want my open window and then to add. to this we have a friend who sleeps with. the window open and then she puts a. scarf around her neck because. just in case uh i don’t know why to keep. the the throat. warm yeah why like which it adds to. another. level of complexity that i don’t. understand but you know i got used to. sleeping with the window opens i.

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Might complain if it’s really 20. degrees and i’m like okay there’s no. point of this. so we can negotiate sometimes and there. are places for example like in spain. where we’ve actually tried to sleep with. the window open but then we can’t. because the spanish if you don’t know. this they love to party until really. late. not even party just talking and they. talk a lot and loud. so if you leave the window open and. you’re close to like if you’re an. apartment that is close to the street. you will hear the spanish happening all. the time so there i win. and we don’t sleep with the with the. window open. and number seven the last one on my list. is that. germans love to plan things in advance. oh yeah and if you’re gonna date one you. need to be prepared for this because a. conversation might go like this hey jen.

What are you doing. in four and a half months i don’t know. that’s i’m sorry i have to call. bull on that the conversation doesn’t go. like that well it does. no it’s more like okay let’s say with my. parents for example this is a very basic. example it’s like hey when are we going. to see each other again. oh let me look at my calendar oh how. about next weekend no. already we have friends over no we are. visiting friends there. no because there is i don’t know what. and so it goes on and on until we find a. date where we can both join and look if. we wouldn’t have done that. let’s say that would be a month from now. and we wanted to spontaneously say hey. let’s meet up. that weekend would have probably been. booked by someone else so we could have. never met. okay that is one example however i can. give you another example where a friend.

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Did actually ask hey. what are you gonna do summer next year. and i’m like well i don’t know well it’s. my birthday party so you better book it. in your calendar i’m like dude it’s. summer next year. okay so let’s just not take friends. examples how about this. we talked about your birthday in another. video which you can see up here. yeah but how did we go about that so her. birthday. is very close to christmas so she always. whines oh i can never celebrate. christmas uh birthday on my. christmas what oh she always whines i. can never celebrate my birthday on my. birthday because all my friends are. already gone visiting their families oh. i don’t know what. that’s my whiny voice by the way yeah. that’s so vani viny voice. herbani voice whiny voice um. anyway so long story short i am. absolutely against not just. me myself and i but me as german.

We i’m completely crazy we are. again celebrating birthdays before your. actual birthday yes. so jen attended that i gave her a hard. no that is not even gonna happen. especially like a weekend beforehand no. way. um and she’s like yeah but when am i. going to celebrate my birthday then. we’re talking about the 30th birthday so. you kind of want to have a bigger party. about that. so it’s like well the clear obvious. example and choice will be new years. have a new year’s eve party. really oh but people have their own. plans on new year’s i’m like not if you. invite them early enough. so yeah okay so we talked about this. like maybe january of that year. and it was february anyone’s like have. you set the invitation yet. no like this is new year’s you should. send the invitation soon. so i kind of like stalled a bit and then.

March like you have to send an. invitation now. i’m like what are you talking it’s like. already prime time it’s like way too. late already. so i send out the invitation and in a. matter of like a day i got the response. from all the germans oh yeah so i’m. saying like things that you actually. told me now because i was about to book. my new year’s plans for this. and no response from my latino friends. it’s like none and i’m talking like not. only latino but like other cultures. right like also like spanish and. whatever. uh and then when i asked my friend are. you saying spanish i’m not latinos. yeah that’s what i’m saying oh maybe. that’s that that’s maybe not what it. should say anyway that’s a different. topic. so anyways any other friend that’s not. german that i invited to the party no. one. replied and when i asked them about it.

They were like. oh you are like for real like this is a. thing that i should respond to and i’m. like yes please. i thought it was a joke because i got a. plan of apparently. my what we’re gonna do oh i thought you. were just like joking like dude i don’t. know i’ll let you know like in november. i’m like no virtue that’s too late can. you tell me beforehand please. so this is a german thing that you have. to get used to like germans love. planning things in advance. yeah i wouldn’t say not only dating but. also friends and everything as well. yeah first of all you have like a clear. plan. like you know what you do when and you. have something to look forward to. i mean don’t get me wrong i love being. spontaneous and most often not. spontaneous things. tend to be the best but you can’t just. always be spontaneous.

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