What’s good youtube this video is going. to be about five ways to prevent burnout. now somebody wrote me a question i’m. gonna read the question and i’m gonna. answer the question and obviously it’s. about bird now uh somebody said i. followed your channel for a while now. maybe you’ve done a video about it and i. already missed it but can you do a video. addressing dating burnout and bitterness. well yes yes i can. um. obviously people get tired they grow. fatigued with the disappointment of. dating and obviously not succeeding or. being rejected you know they can be very. emotionally taxing it’s tiresome to try. and try with no results right with no. reward especially emotionally which is. usually the reward that a woman is. holding dear you know the security of a. commitment the security of someone who’s. going to be a companion and committed to.
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Meeting them in the middle in a mutually. beneficial relationship right it’s. extremely exhausting to go through the. lack of that in people who breadcrumb. you and minimal effort you to death and. the people who are just completely. unavailable to your advancements and. reject you right those things are. emotionally taxing and psychologically. exhausting and disheartening i get it so. these are five ways to prevent burnout. so that you can stay in the game and. avoid the type of mindset that will. cause you to give up on your own dreams. of being in a relationship if that is. what you want. now with that said the first way to. prevent burnout is to stop. overcompensating for what you’re not. receiving from the guys you date. this creates a lot of burnout very. quickly it exhausts you over leveraging. yourself overcompensating for the.
Distance the neglect the separation the. effort the focus the commitment the. dedication whatever it is even the. intellectual or emotional connection the. conversation skills stop. overcompensating for men who don’t know. how to talk who can’t talk who refuse to. talk who won’t see you who can only see. you on this day or that day who require. more than they give all of those things. you might try to ignore it you might. pretend that the resentment in your. heart isn’t developing but it is it’s. exhausting trying to manage your. disappointment and your emotions while. giving maximal effort. you’re fatiguing yourself you’re giving. yourself burnout just like if someone. was to go to the gym every day and work. super hard every day and then go home. and not get any sleep and then go back. to the gym and go back to work and keep.
The super busy schedule and never let. their body rest or recover in the same. way that someone could experience a. nervous system burn out from over taxing. their nervous system with activity and. strenuous workouts and physical labor. you can do that same thing to your brain. to your emotions to your psyche don’t do. that if somebody’s not giving what. you’re giving you need to take a step. back and figure out if they even have. the capacity or willingness to. but stop overcompensating for what. they’re either not giving you or. unwilling to give you because it causes. you to grow tired quick but you still. have to live this life you still have to. go find love you still have to continue. to navigate the dating atmosphere with. or without them and if you continue to. do that you’ll be a fragment of yourself. when you’re all done and you still might.
Not have the results you want because. you’ll dedicate that energy and that. time to the wrong people. overcompensating attracts lazy lovers. and minimal effort men. moving on the second thing that you need. to do to help prevent burnout and. bitterness is. stop personalizing the results of every. dm every conversation every day or every. connection. listen sometimes if a person doesn’t. like you or they reject you or they’re. not interested or they’re emotionally. unavailable it has nothing to do with. you. everything isn’t about you they’re. living their own human experience trying. to figure out their own human life and. work through their own human issues they. already have a preconceived idea of what. they want the type of person they might. settle with the type of relationship. that might be the type of culture the.
Type of body the type of face the type. of voice the type of personality the. type of spirit the type of energy they. already have this preconceived notion of. their person just because you’re not. that person which is very hard to be. it’s very hard to be a person’s picture. of perfect but just because you’re not. that person doesn’t mean it’s about you. doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. or doesn’t mean that you’re not. desirable or worthy of love it just. means that you don’t fit what they saw. for themselves which could be foolish. rigidity a lot of people have it but. stop taking it so personal that somebody. doesn’t want you. you should be more concerned with if you. should want them if they’ve given you. enough to impress you and maybe earn a. relationship from you. too often women spend too much time.
Worrying about being liked by a guy or. being accepted by a guy then figuring. out if this man is even acceptable for. them. or if they should like him people like. what they like but that’s not personal. personalizing every failed conversation. or every date that doesn’t lead to a. second date or every dm that runs cold. or every rejection that you have causes. you a lot of fatigue. and it makes you want to give up and it. hurts you it’s like these miniature. heart breaks over and over and over and. every stranger you’ve given an. opportunity and permission and access to. your heart to hurt you that’s too much. power in the hands of a stranger. in dating you meet dozens of people why. give them that much power i’ve said this. before in videos give no one the power. to invalidate you. and that’s what a lot of you do when you.
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Personalize every single failed attempt. at dating or conversation with a guy. you’ve given that conversation or that. person stranger. the power to invalidate you. it shouldn’t be personal until you’re. both important to each other. moving on stop letting your imagination. get ahead of your reality and trigger. your emotions prematurely. stop meditating on these guys every time. you start talking to him wondering what. he’s like how he’s going to act if he’s. going to like you which you could be one. day. all of those things serve to do you a. disservice they get you excited for a. relationship that hasn’t even been. established yet so anytime you do get. rejected or a conversation does one dry. or date doesn’t end up being a second. date you take on some emotional hurt. because your mind has already imagined. all the relationship possibilities of.
This imaginary person this stranger that. you hadn’t even met or gotten to know. daydreaming about people you barely know. meditating on them thinking about them. all day wondering about them is the. quickest way to hurt your own feelings. and to break your own heart without even. being acquainted with a person seriously. i’ve known women who have almost no. rapport with the guy have had damn near. zero conversations with a guy knows. almost nothing about them but find. themselves to be in love how the hell. are you in love with someone you don’t. know. you’ve imagined them you’ve thought. about them you’ve meditated on them. you’ve worshipped them. meditation is worship you worship them. and now all of a sudden you’re. heartbroken because you can’t have them. or they rejected you or they’ve used you. for sex when you didn’t even have enough.
Information to feel that deeply about. them and you damn sure wasn’t familiar. enough you damn sure didn’t know them. well enough they damn sure it just got. to your life it wasn’t even like they. were stables in your social circle. they just popped in and all of a sudden. they’re the most important person in the. world. stop letting your imagination take. control of your dating experience if you. meet a new guy and he’s cute and he’s. handsome and he’s charming and all of. those things that’s cool but refuse to. meditate on that man stop yourself from. daydreaming about the strange men that. you meet on this journey to love. if you have to imagine it it just means. you don’t know him well enough. and you’re in danger of creating a bunch. of ideas about him instead of. discovering who he really is. so when that stranger disappoints you or.
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Burn out when you’re dating is stop. giving prepayments and advancements in. the form of sex and commitment whether. that be emotionally or energetically in. the music industry a company might sign. a young talented singer or musician or a. rapper they’ll give them a check up. front because they understand that the. use that they’ll make of that artist. will get them paid on the back end it’s. called a record deal advance they might. give that act a couple hundred thousand. or a million dollars because they. understand that they can make that money. after that person puts in some work with. some marketing dollars. that advance is a prepayment for success. success that they’ll invest in and it’s. sure happen. what’s interesting is a lot of women. treat their bodies and treat their. hearts like a record deal advanced they.
Meet a young guy that they like that. they find interesting that they hope to. be loved by and they’ll give him an. advancement of an emotional commitment. or focus or even their bodies just. because they’re hoping to get paid with. a relationship with commitment and with. love on the back end. when that doesn’t happen they feel. bamboozled they feel stupid they feel. used and they also feel burnt out. because yet another one bites to dust. another relationship slipped through. their fingers and they start to think. maybe i wasn’t good enough at this or. that or maybe my love wasn’t good enough. or maybe i’m not good enough when in. actuality they just over leveraged and. gave too much too soon. stop trying to prepay men for. relationships. if a man wants you he’ll be there for. the long haul you don’t have to prepay.
Him a job doesn’t prepay you on monday. in hopes that you’ll work up till friday. because they don’t trust you they make. you wait all week to get paid just so. they can get every drop of effort from. you that’s necessary for the job. unfortunately enough women don’t do this. they meet a man they start to like him. and all of a sudden they prepay him all. the relationship benefits in hopes that. he accepts the job of being their man. if you’re dating with intention you have. to treat your heart and your mind and. your body like a temple not a record. deal advance stop prepaying men who. turn out to be unfit for relationships. that they don’t have to give. it causes a lot of damage a lot of. disappointment and a lot of resentment. being taken for everything you have to. offer to receive nothing and it’s the. single biggest contributor to dating and.
Relationship burnout. moving on. the fifth and last way to prevent dating. burnout is. cut unfit men off quicker too often i. meet women who meet a guy determine he’s. unfit get absolutely nothing from that. man and try harder and increase their. effort and their dedication in order to. change his mind instead of just cutting. him off and letting him go. you’re better off cutting your losses. than gambling until you’ve lost. everything. cut unfit men off quicker think about it. like this if you go to the casino with a. thousand dollars or 10 000 or however. much you might gamble with and you just. seem to be having a bad night in every. game and every slot machine and every. card table you try you start losing is. it better to gamble into all your. money’s gone or just cut your losses. realizing that you’re having a bad night.
A lot of you do this with your heart you. realize that things aren’t going your. way but you keep coming back a man shows. himself to be unfit a man shows himself. to not want what you want a man shows. himself to be disrespectful or. emotionally unavailable or anything like. that and instead of moving on instead of. taking your energy in which you do have. to offer a relationship what’s left of. your effort what’s left of your energy. what’s left of your heart and getting. away from him you try to stick it out. you try to convince him. you try to earn a relationship when a. man is proven to be unfit you have to. cut him off because he’ll exhaust you. he’ll burn out the rest of your energy. he’ll use all your reserves up and he. still won’t want you. so stop spending so much time. trying to date guys trying to have.
Conversations with guys even at the dm. level if a guy’s dms are weak why are. you talking to this guy why are you. still trying to poke at this guy to. start this shitty ass conversation back. up you’re on a shitty date and the guy’s. just garbage why are you continuing the. date if a guy’s giving you minimal. effort or minimal conversation or. minimal contact stop trying to figure. out how to make it more if he wanted you. he would give you more. you are exhausting yourself and it. causes you to stop before you find what. you’re looking for you have to date. intentionally and with some strategy. that means when someone’s not giving you. what you need you have to reserve your. energy for someone who will save your. energy for better prospects. what you don’t want to do is waste a. bunch of time and be unavailable when.
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The right guy comes along because you. spent too much time with the wrong guy. with the unfit men it creates bitterness. resentment irritation exhaustion and. fatigue and a lot of women stop dating. before they find the love they’re. looking for because they date it wrong. with no method no strategy without. evolving and changing their methodology. and time they just give up and quit. i have way too many conversations with. women that tell me they’ve been single. for 10 years because they just gave up. and when i asked them about what they. did and what they experienced the only. thing that’s obvious to me is that they. didn’t have any strategy they didn’t. date with purpose and they didn’t. require anything of the people they. dated. so now they’ve wasted time dating wrong. and giving up. it doesn’t have to be that way you can.