Don’t agree to coffee dates like why not. i don’t know you what’s wrong with. coffee look. men value what they invest in what they. invest in in terms of time. money a mass hot is where his money is. and you cannot convince me otherwise. i think 29 was my minimum and my man was. 29 at the time. put 29 up 59 or what no i had like. 29 to probably like 45 or something. no. i’m ready. you ready yep all right you got to move. over this way a little bit just a little. bit. ah there you go. who thought we’d ever be doing this okay. all right hi you guys. welcome to my channel it’s michelle. amarae and if you’re new here hi hello. welcome so today i have a super super. special special. video for you guys y’all i beg for. my stuff and i didn’t want to like. pressure him you know because like you. know i just wanted to respect my man.
But he finally agreed to do a video with. me. and what perfect way than to talk about. how we met and give you guys some tips. on dating apps. so if you’re interested in all of that. stay tuned all right so let’s. go ahead and like say i mean you guys. already saw the title of this video. so we met on youtube. so to start things off um i did ask you. guys on my instagram a couple of you. guys. gave some questions and stuff and. pointers that you wanted to know about. while using dating apps so we’re going. to go ahead and answer those. while given our how we met story so i. guess how we can kind of start things. off is just like talking about. how we even got to dating apps and why. we even decided to be on there and all. that kind of stuff so babe what like. brought you to using the dating apps. like. yeah i mean it’s a new day and age i.
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Think it’s you know. a new time of dayton so i think date. naps are a great way to meet people. you know if it’s instagram or facebook. and then they have so i think you know. if you are intentional and you know what. you’re looking for i think it’s a great. you know place to meet people so i uh. was. mingling in a few different apps and was. on bumble a hinge and. those are the two main ones so i think. bumble has a. nice selection of women so yeah cause he. found me so yeah. for me i started using dating apps when. i was an undergrad. because i was like there’s no way i’m. limited to the men on my campus like i. just couldn’t do it. i wanted to increase my dating pool and. the people that i could interact with. and dating apps are a really great way. to do that i feel like dating apps get a. lot of bad rep just because people kind.
Of feel like oh you’re super desperate. if you have to go on a dating app. why can’t you meet people in person well. first of all we’re in a promo. so that’s difficult to be able to go out. and meet people and stuff like that. and then on top of that sometimes you’re. you don’t want to just limit yourself to. your social circle. so if you want to branch out and. maximize your options. dating apps are a really great way for. you to meet people that you otherwise. wouldn’t have been able to meet because. if it wasn’t for bumble we wouldn’t have. met we’re in two different age groups. two different social groups like. we literally don’t even have like. literally any mutuals in common. so there’s no way would have probably. met realistically. yeah i think there’s a big myth that. there’s not really any you know quality.
Women on date naps and that’s really not. true. i think you have to maybe kiss a few. frogs to get to a quality woman but. they are out there all right so the next. topic we’re going to speak on are just. like kind of things that we were looking. for on dating apps and like just kind of. the strategies we used to maximize. the quality of people we met do you want. to go first uh sure. uh so for me like one thing i’ve looked. for is does she have. uh does she seem like she has a good. head on her shoulders does she seem like. i can bring her home to my parents. you know are are all her pictures like. really you know. out there like no clothes on or is she. like you know kind of conservative. that’s true that’s how you are and i. will go ahead and say like oh let me. answer the question first. for me what i was looking for was a.
Professional man. like i knew how i wanted to date and the. kind of man that i wanted to date and. stuff. and so i wasn’t gonna go swipe right on. a person who had pictures of him in the. club. bottles up and stuff or around so many. girls on a yacht or something like that. like i was looking for a professional. man who looked grounded and stuff and so. actually my man’s first picture on his. bumble profile. was his like job picture like his. professional headshot. and so i was like oh okay so. automatically that tells me you know. what he’s leading with in terms of like. the dating pool and how he’s presenting. himself. and that’s important to me so that was. definitely something that. definitely gravitated me towards his. profile and ultimately caused me to. swipe right. anyway from what i remember from his bio. my man had it said like oh he enjoys.
Traveling and stuff which is something. that i. enjoy but he was like i don’t want any. ratchets. i didn’t say that actually i’m allergic. to ratchets. yeah like that makes it better i mean i. am allergic i break out in highs. with ratchet so i can’t deal with that. so. i mean i i like classy women i like. upscale women. and you know ratchetness it just i break. out so. i just i can’t deal so that was. something that i saw and i was like i. thought it was funny you know. like it was a funny way to phrase it but. you know basically essentially what he. was saying was that he wanted a woman. who had class. for a man to desire that quality in a. woman let me know the kind of man. he was so that was definitely something. that drew me closer to him. and made me feel like you know this is. definitely somebody i could get along.
With right. you know i think that with her you know. i can tell that she was different. i’m not just saying that but you know. she looked like she really had her head. on straight. and you know a lot of girls on date naps. it’s hard to find quality women and you. know i think with michelle she. definitely. had the whole package just from her from. her profile so i was really looking. forward to our first date when i. noticed we matched right and i’ll go. ahead and give some pointers on like my. profile i’ll show you guys on the screen. like how my profile looks i don’t mind. sharing that. but um i’ve said that like i enjoy. things like international wait what did. i say. yeah so my bio is pretty simple to the. point now i’ll be honest. modesty is definitely something that i’m. trying to do better at especially like.
Venturing into this new chapter in my. life with just. presenting more as like a classy woman. and a more modest woman. i think that’s important but um in my. pictures i made sure to. try to minimize the skin like have more. pictures that. exuded the kind of man that i wanted so. i think it’s important while you’re on. these apps to ask yourself what do i. want. and does my type want me and how do i. present myself in a manner that is. attractive to my type. and that’s really all what it comes down. to yeah one thing i noticed was that she. really liked to travel. i saw pictures where she was in vietnam. or was that thailand or. thailand cambodia cambodia she was. somewhere out the country and i noticed. that was pretty nice that. she was a traveler and she did solo. traveling that lets me know that. she doesn’t mind you know doing things.
By herself she’s not a follower. she does things you know on her own and. that was a really attractive trait that. i noticed so. i think i also like to travel and i was. like oh we have that in common all right. so what are your biggest red flags when. it comes to. dating profiles and what causes you to. just swipe. left uh i think people that use fake. pictures. i mean catfishing is real people do. catfish people use. other people’s pictures they they might. use a lot of filters. i think that’s a red flag i like to see. girls that are in their natural setting. if i notice that she has a lot of. filters or very few pictures of her just. being herself that’s red flag uh. some filters you know really make them. look. one way and you meet them in person and. you’re like who’s this. man’s been catfished before i’ve been.
Catfished and it’s not a good feeling so. i’ve been really careful on you know. moving forward and just you know making. sure that they are. who they say they are i think it’s. important to maybe facetime them or. you know video call them make sure that. you’re talking to the right person. but yeah people are catfishing all year. so just got to be extra careful and. cautious about you know moving forward. yeah and i also talked about the things. that i didn’t like because i was looking. for more of a professional. providerminded type man traditional. minded man. i wasn’t swiping right on men who were. in the club men who looked like they. were just you know f boys and f boys. just have a kind of look to them so. i wasn’t swiping right on that just. because it’s so easy to have. all this access to so many different.
People if you don’t have a clear goal on. what you want it’s so easy to get. distracted. but oh i know he looks like an f boy but. he’s super fine. he has a really nice body let’s see what. that is and that’s how you end up. getting into so many different issues. and put yourself in heartache so. if you know you’re somebody serious who. wants something serious make sure you. keep that goal at the forefront of your. mind and don’t let certain looks and. certain pictures and a. certain vibe that a person gives off in. their profile to cause you to get off. track. alright so the next question is like how. did you go about creating your v. your bio what did you choose and decide. to include and all that kind of stuff. okay yeah i think i put a little bit. about myself i don’t like to talk a lot. about myself. i want to keep that air of this mystery.
It makes them kind of drawn into you a. little bit more so they want to get to. know you a little bit more. so i didn’t talk a lot about myself um i. did say some jokes in my bio. let them know that you know i am kind of. i like to have fun i like to joke around. but. i am you know i like to handle my. business as well so. let them know that you’re serious and. let them know what you’re looking for. and uh yeah so i think if they can you. know relate to that i’m pretty sure. they’ll be able to swipe right on you. and hopefully uh you know kick it off. with messaging. and exchange your numbers or whatever. right i think that’s super important. especially like as a woman. that level of mystery and just trying to. kind of draw that person. in for them to get to know more about. you that’s really important so you don’t.
Want to just go ahead and like spill the. beans but you want to go ahead and like. kind of give hints and put really. interesting things in your bio. that’s going to make somebody want to. swipe right and learn more about it. now i do want to talk about the feature. on bumble specifically where it asks you. like. what are you looking for like are you. looking for a serious relationship. i’m just kind of you’re not sure that. type of thing because we actually had. different things on our. profile so i said i was undecided unsure. i didn’t know what i was looking for. and you had i had i was looking for. something serious. right yeah you had yeah and you had that. you. didn’t know what you’re looking for yeah. and i think you know she had that. you know i think deep down she knew what. she was looking for but she put that on.
There. as like a defense mechanism for guys. that she wasn’t really trying to deal. with so. you know i just took that and i ran with. it and i think as a man. you need to be sure that you are. intentional and that you do know what. you’re looking for and so that way. you know when you find something that is. what you’re looking for you have no. you’re not thinking twice about cutting. off other girls or. really being intentional on the one. you’re you’re focusing on so. i think once you find it you know you’re. good to go right and. normally i don’t recommend lying and. being deceitful and stuff on dating apps. like i do hear some of the like. you know the level of communities and. things that people talk about with like. you know. don’t let him know you have kids i don’t. agree with that kind of stuff. especially if you’re on here dating.
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Intentionally and you want serious. results. but i will say when it comes to level of. asking what you want in a relationship. and stuff. i personally do not recommend as women. saying that you want a serious. relationship and here’s why. especially with the society we live in. and just like the dating scene right now. finding committed people who want a. committed serious relationship. is honestly pretty difficult like it’s. what makes dating really difficult for. especially somebody who wants something. serious and wants something like. a committed relationship and the thing. is there are men out there who take. advantage of that and because they know. that you want something serious they’ll. pretend like they’re on that wavelength. but as soon as they’re able to hit it. they will quit it. and leave and it leaves you in a.
Position where you’re heartbroken. dealing with different issues and stuff. like that so i recommend as a woman. allow that man to lead and allow him to. lead from the getgo. so on our first date we actually talked. about the reason why we had differences. in like what we were looking for. and that was something of concern to my. man like he was like i mean are you. really serious like i’m not here to play. games like. i’m not trying to waste my time or your. time that kind of vibe. and it was really comforting for me to. see that because it was like all right. this is a man who’s really intentional. and is really looking for what he says. he’s looking for and it gives. me the security that i need to go ahead. and let my guard down. and really like fall into this like full. force. so i would recommend not putting that.
You’re looking for something serious on. these eating daps but that’s my two. cents. right and i don’t think men should be. saying that you’re looking for your wife. but just let them know that you are you. know intentionally dating. you’re dating with a purpose you’re not. just you know looking for. you know situations you’re looking for. something serious so. you know for me personally like i knew. after maybe one or two days. if it wasn’t going anywhere then i’m. like all right there’s no point of me uh. continuing this relationship if i don’t. see it any anywhere like. fruitful for my life so i think if you. know what you’re looking for. let the girl know and be intentional. about that and make sure you. you set the tone of the relationship as. a man right now i do want to talk about. like how to start or initiate the.
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Conversation because i know on bumble. specifically. the women lead and i hated that aspect. of it i’m a traditional minded woman i. feel like if you want me you come and. talk to me i don’t believe in shooting. my shot. i never have never will don’t intend on. doing so. so anyway um like with bumble how i kind. of. went about it was just saying like hi. but um i just said hi with like a smiley. face. or something like that something cute. something simple but. you know i want to see him i want to see. the kind of energy he’s coming with. so as a woman don’t feel like you have. to go and put the most. slickest thing or the most you know. smooth. like that’s for men that’s that’s. y’all’s job to be. thinking of creative ways to try and. catch you just go ahead and put the. oh hi hello smiley face hats whatever. you like.
And see where he takes it from there. he’ll check out your profile he’ll say. oh do i really like her and then he’ll. apply the pressure he’ll come with it. but she ain’t got to do that you don’t. you don’t have to do too much. yeah i think you know on bumble i like. that aspect if the woman you know. initially. initiates the conversation that lets you. know as a guy that she’s really. interested. right because on other dating apps you. know a lot of guys have to shoot their. shot first. and i’m sure a lot of women get you know. bombarded with messages so. it’s kind of hard for the woman to kind. of filter through those for the quality. men but. on bumble if she messages to you you. have a higher chance of it really. succeeding because you know that she’s. really interested so. i think you know when i saw her message.
Okay i looked at her profile and said. wow. she’s attractive she looks like you know. she got her head on straight and it took. from there i think we had some. light bands or some jokes and then um. from there i think. it’s important to take things offline. and get their number exchange numbers. and. you know get get to know them in the. real world not just on the daytona. itself thank you. a dating app is just a vessel for. meeting somebody. you should not be dating on the app. dating occurs. outside the app in reality in. restaurants wherever you guys choose to. go. that’s the actual dating it’s just a. means of meeting somebody. literally we were only on that dating. app talking for like one night. not even up to that like literally our. whole conversation on bumble was like. maybe about 20 minutes. and then he asked me for my number and.
Then we took it to text messaging my man. called me i think he called me that same. night. and we had our first date the date right. up the day right after. so don’t allow these men to have you on. these dating apps talking and chatting. your ear off for three four. five up to a week plus don’t do that and. if it is going up to that point and he’s. not. making plans for you guys to go on your. first day and to meet. and i’m not saying me come over come. through to my apartment that’s. somebody who’s just looking for an f. buddy but if he’s not making plans. making reservations or whatever the case. may be for you. let him go he’s trying to waste your. time don’t allow him to do that so i. think it’s really important as a woman. if you know you’re serious. and you know have serious standards for. yourself don’t allow yourself to just be.
Chatting with somebody. all day like that that’s ridiculous yeah. i think it’s important for women. to also be comfortable enough to. actually give their numbers out to guys. if you’re if you feel like the. conversation going somewhere in the. right direction. right definitely exchange numbers. because i’ve came across women who were. just comfortable. chatting on the apps all day and i’m. like all right let’s exchange numbers. and they’re like well i just met you. like let’s slow down i’m like. look i’m not here i’m not gonna be. texting you on these apps for like. months and months at a time so if you. don’t even want to exchange numbers. then that’s a problem i’m not saying. don’t be safe but. just be careful but if you feel the vibe. is there you know you guys have. something going on. definitely exchange numbers and take.
Things offline because you can’t just be. on the apps all day. that’s that’s not gonna work i think. it’s important to transition into the. real world as soon as possible right. is jobless broke people that have time. to be on these dating apps morning. tonight just [ __ ] chat and. chatting to different people. like that to me screams like i have. nothing to do with my life. like this is just not to be super harsh. but i’m just saying. these are just tools to use because you. know there are people that i know who. literally just be on these apps all day. just talking to people just. because they’re bored don’t be that. person if you’re bored find something to. do. get a dog. all right so now i’m going to move on to. the question segments on things that you. guys have sent in to me via. instagram the first one is how to spot.
People. giving fake info like people lying about. their kids. etc i have my own experience. she’s like a whole fbi agent so she will. do a whole background check on you. so that’s just those were my tips y’all. as soon as it starts getting serious. and stuff run a background check on him. know. what information is out there don’t just. stick to social media because some of. these people don’t have social medias. like that especially if you’re. dating a certain caliber of man but you. know run a background check see what the. fed’s got on him. like that’s important to know especially. if you’re looking at something serious. that’s important to do now in terms of. kids a man. of quality is going to let you know. straight up i have dated somebody that i. met after bumble actually. who had a kid and like our first date he.
Let me know and he was up front with. that. people will be upfront if they’re a. quality person but you really don’t. only get to know that after some time. i’m spending with them sometimes you. know. you might find out too late but that’s. why it’s important to do your research. and do as best as you can. and just pray for the best and another. thing people can be deceitful about. their money and their financial standing. and stuff like that. my personal theme is that you know i. feel like especially if you’re like. dating. for marriage and dating for something. more serious and stuff and you’re a. woman who has has a certain financial. standard and stuff. it’s not everything that glitters is. gold you know. social media pictures this is all. perceptions and stuff that people are. putting out. but you really get to see the kind of.
Person you’re with through the time. spent with them. through the level and depth and quality. of the conversations you have with them. like that kind of stuff is really really. important so take the time to really get. to know a man. don’t just go based off of you know what. he’s showing look i’m from houston. four one line scammer type guys are. everywhere okay. so unless you’re trying to be like his. side team that helps with all his. undercover 409 activities or whatever. like take your time to really get to. know somebody and see where that money’s. coming from see if they’re a quality man. an upstanding person with. integrity so that’s really important now. the next question is navigating dating. apps as like a christian woman. especially if you have. like you know certain standards or. requirements in regards to abstaining.
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From sex. until marriage do you have any advice on. that no. all right i have advice on that i have a. lot of well. you know as much advice that i can offer. on this. there’s chris and me christian mingle. there’s christian mingle yes. but i will say don’t think that you know. bumble and stuff like that are. completely off limits. i think it’s definitely going to be more. difficult for you to find somebody for. sure. i mean just with the society and the. world we live in but usually men who. have those certain type of principles. and values. like you can kind of tell from their. profile or at least those are the types. you want to swipe right on. so you know these profiles give you the. option to say what your religion is and. stuff like that so. i always swipe right on christians i’m. saying everybody that’s this christian.
Will believe and. agrees with abstaining until sex till. marriage and stuff like that you still. have to kind of get to know them and. stuff. but i will say especially if you have. certain nonnegotiables like no sex. before marriage. that’s stuff you want to go ahead and. talk about sooner than later because you. don’t want to waste your time or their. time. you’re not there to be convinced to. change your mind about things. they’re not there to be convinced to. change their minds on things so. definitely lead with that information. and just you know be. intentional from the getgo and how you. navigate that dating relationship. all right what are your favorite apps. and stuff and like what are the apps to. avoid. i think everybody knows tinder is kind. of just for hookups or nothing serious. so i wouldn’t recommend tinder at all.
Um i mainly use used bumble and i use. hinge for a little bit. um i think each of them have has their. pros and cons. i think on bumble i like the like i. mentioned earlier how i like the fact. that women have to initiate the. conversation with the guy. that lets the guy know that she’s. actually really interested and you know. that sets a good. uh precedent for the the relationship if. it goes further so. i like that aspect of bumble that she. has to you know hit him up first so. that’s a pro on hinge i think. personally bumble has more attractive. women i mean i’m not. shallow but just in my personal opinion. uh personal opinion i think uh. i think yeah that is standard i think. bumble the women on bumble i’ve met. were a little more attractive i’m not. saying hinge has. like you know just the bottom of the. barrel but.
In my opinion the quality of women on. bumble was a little bit better. so you can you know dibble and dabble in. both apps if you like but. and see for yourself but for me. personally i think bubble. had more quality women. my personal favorite apps were. definitely bumble. obviously and hinge i didn’t use hinge. so much i found bumble to be a lot. easier to use. hints just kind of had a learning curve. for me but at all costs. stay away from tinder i have so many. horror stories. from tinder i’ve met the worst men from. tinder if you’re looking for something. serious and intentional obviously tinder. is not the way to go. now i do want to speak on some other. apps and some other platforms like. what’s your prize. seeking arrangements um luxie and stuff. like that for my girls who. you know financial standard is really.
Really important and big to them. i would say be careful with those apps. too because there’s a lot of people who. come on there. pretending and then also think about it. like people are going on those apps. leading based off of financial standards. and i think the problem with that though. is that sometimes it becomes more. difficult to find people of quality and. of substance when it comes to morals. and values and things that really are. important for the longevity of a. strong and committed relationship so if. you know you’re looking for something. serious like marriage or something. and you also have a financial standard. maybe use bumble but use it by. dating within a certain age bracket of. men who tend to be a lot more. established. and men who tend to be at a really great. place financially and careerwise.
Right and i’ll say for guys to set your. preferences for the age uh depending on. the age you are. you know i would say uh sit a little. lower. a lot of women that are older they might. come with. i wouldn’t say baggage but you know a. lot of more stuff you got to deal with. so they might have a child. they might have more you know. exboyfriends you gotta might have to. navigate. so i think the younger the woman the. less. baggage she might come with so i think. it’s important to set your preference. for your age to be a little bit lower. than your age and uh. i think that’ll increase your your your. odds of getting something somewhat of. quality. right and like i kept mine out of range. i think 29 was my minimum and my man was. 29 at the time. put 29 out of 59 or what no i had like. 29 to probably like 45 or something.
No i’m too young no. i said yeah but i know. they when i was dating you guys. my standard was like he had to at least. be 30. and my job was like maybe like. 2223 at the time because. you know i just can’t do men my age. personally my personal preference. is like you know 30 plus because they. tend to be a lot more established. and ready for commitment all right so. our last question is how to know he’s. trying to hit it and quit and what are. some like. you know tips for gauging that i can. speak from a female. perspective right off the bat if he’s. saying things like come link up at my. place or using that kind of terminology. cut it like that’s just so childish. fboy lingo. type stuff let that go if he’s not. putting effort into the first date. don’t agree to coffee dates like why not. i don’t know you what’s wrong with.
Coffee look. men value what they invest in what they. invest in in terms of time. money a mass hat is where his money is. and you cannot convince me otherwise. so if first date he’s talking about. let’s go to starbucks to meet up or. let’s go to chipotle. block him keep it moving because that’s. not worth it and let me tell you why and. i’ll even use my men as an example sean. so he usually took girls to like like a. bar somewhere or something like that or. would you take a name. so you could say a bar yeah yeah like a. bar that type of like. more casual laid back type thing my. first day. my man took me what is that place is it. what is it season 52. season’s 52 okay like it’s not like. ruth’s crisp or nothing. but it’s definitely not something that. you just pop up in some jeans and a. tshirt and. or whatever like he put an effort and he.
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Was like like look i know you’re. different. so i’m not about to just take you to any. type of nonsense date place like i’m. gonna. you know come correct for you and he’s. not the first man who’s done that to me. after meeting me and. you know understanding the caliber of. woman i am and realizing that i’m not. gonna just treat this one anyhow and. just take her anyhow. a man who sees your value and realizes. that you are truly. a dying peace and somebody of value he’s. going to treat you accordingly. so if he started not telling you let’s. go to starbucks tell him no thank you. don’t even respond shy block him because. that man doesn’t see your volume really. you know i think with her with michelle. i knew she was different so that’s why i. didn’t mind. taking her to a nice restaurant but on. average you know a lot of women.
Might just want a free meal so you can’t. be taking every woman to a fivestar. restaurant because you will go broke. really quickly. so i don’t mind coffee shops i don’t. mind walks in the park because i don’t. know you. you don’t know me let’s see where this. goes and if it goes anywhere. you know in the if it goes somewhere. then we can go to summer nights then we. can go. we can you know increase the budget a. little bit but that first date. you know we need to go to chipotle or. maybe. somewhere somewhere where i’m not coming. out of pocket a lot of money so. i think it’s important that you don’t. want to set the tone of like you’re. trying to impress her. going to ruth chris or like you know. state 48 on the first date because you. know she might just be wanting a free. meal. eating the lobsters and shrimps and the.
Steaks and then you might not even see. her after that but i think if it’s. something that’s going forward then you. guys can you know kind of increase the. budget and. go to nicer places anyway sha my mind is. saying the sabi. but mind you first day he took me to. sessions okay he didn’t take me to. chipotle he didn’t take me to starbucks. so. um please find you a man that sees value. in you i wants to go ahead and treat you. accordingly. the ones who want to go and put you on. starbucks first day. leave them leave them to go so yes baby. you can say what you’re saying but at. the end of the day you did something. completely different with me because you. knew my values so. different i could say yeah women find. men who view you like that too that’s. all i gotta say. yeah i mean i think it’s a numbers game. so you want to just be careful.
I think for guys who are paying for the. dates it’s really important you aren’t. trying to expose yourself you’re not. trying to impress her if you take her to. you know somewhere really nice on the. first stage you might expect that every. day. so you don’t want to set the tone of. you’re just trying to you know buy her. love or or not so. make sure it’s something that you can. afford and you’re not trying to just. live a fake lifestyle but make sure it’s. you’re being authentic. and true to who you are yeah yeah. anything no i think that’s everything i. wanted to cover. in this video i hope you guys enjoyed it. if you have any questions. go ahead and comment down below if it’s. anything i can get his perspective i’ll. ask him and i’ll. answer whatever but i hope this video. was very informative for you guys. and eye opening and you learned a thing.