Francis Dating

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So. what about loneliness while traveling. well. it’s a tricky one isn’t it. if you are. trying to live the kind of lifestyle. where you. don’t necessarily have a home base. you know where you are freed up from. the normal constraints of. having to go to a nineto-five job every. day. having to. report into the office for a certain. time or whatever if you have fought. tooth and nail to achieve that kind of. freedom that everyone bangs on about the. whole time. in this space and talks about as being. so important which i believe it is. important but it’s not without cost. then. congratulations because you have. pulled yourself out of the matrix if you. like you pulled yourself out of the the. mainstream and you have become one of. the. i i don’t know i don’t think it’s a one. percent but it’s certainly a very small. percentage maybe a five ten percent or.

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Something of people who are. you know able to. live life on their own terms and have a. certain degree of freedom in terms of. where they are geographically but. but. as i say it does come with costs and the. biggest cost as far as i can see well. financial but aside from that the. biggest cost as far as i can see is. loneliness. because. we are as we are always told. continually. social creatures. and. most of us i think to some degree are. addicted to the. social scene. that we find ourselves in. so as much as you might hate your job. and you might hate having to go to work. every day in the commute and all that. kind of stuff. i think in another way. you’re probably slightly addicted to it. and i say that because i think i was. and i think i am somewhat addicted. to. being in in london which is where i am. now even though.

In many ways. it’s not the best way place for me to to. be it’s not necessarily the best place. for me to be. in terms of career. it’s expensive it’s busy it’s you know. there’s a lot of sort of negatives to it. but i’m somewhat addicted to it because. of the people that i know here and the. friendship groups i’ve got and just that. kind of familiarity. um. so what do you do. what do you do if you’ve decided okay i. want to live a different. kind of a lifestyle you know i want to. do something different. just crossing this road here. i want to do something different. i want to unplug but then you discover. that the reality of unplugging is. actually. quite lonely. it’s tricky it is tricky. the standard advice to give in videos. when we talk about this stuff is you’ve. got to have a strong group of friends. around you and that is absolutely true i.

Mean you can’t you can’t get away from. that fact and certainly the traveling. that i did. last year with tusk and mr ram. traffic noise. and the other guys was fantastic and it. is great it is great to have that. camaraderie it is great to have those. people around you. i think. we’re living in an age where as i’ve. said previously in videos this week. it’s no longer necessary. it’s no longer necessary. for you to. settle down. get married. have a nuclear family and all of that. kind of thing that’s not to say you. shouldn’t do that or it’s not maybe a. desirable thing maybe that’s what you. want to do. but it’s not necessary. anymore it’s not mandatory you could. quite easily. go your whole life as a guy. having fun dating. traveling around. having a ball really living like a king. would have lived well a king would have.

Dreamt to have lived. 100 200 years ago. the possibilities now are really endless. in terms of the kind of life you can. have and that is amazing we live in this. kind of fantastic. time in history where you can be an. ordinary guy. really you don’t have to be a. multimillionaire you don’t have to be a. rock star you don’t have to be a movie. star and you can live this kind of. amazing. life. but as i say there is this cost to it. and. when you. unplug. because people like to talk about. unplugging don’t they they like to talk. about the matrix and all this kind of. thing but when you unplug. you also you don’t just unplug from the. desirable aspects of it. the undesirable aspects of it you also. unplug from the parts of it that were. kind of maybe holding your psyche. together and that is another reason i. think why sometimes.

We will see. people content creators who go a little. bit nuts after a while. because. you’re trying to do something. that. really hasn’t been done before in human. history or not to the same extent i mean. if you think of some of the travel. vloggers. dating vloggers that we’ve known and by. the way it’s not just people on youtube. that do this stuff there’s loads of. people like trade day traders. people with online businesses. all kinds of things people are working. remotely so it’s not just you know but. just for the for the sake of argument. just think of some of the people. that we’ve known. in the youtube space who’ve done this. kind of thing and got a bit crazy you. know suddenly you’re just presented with. this incredible freedom to do basically. what the hell you want to do you could. be anywhere. and. that i think is a bit too much for for.

Some people i think it scrambles uh. their brains i think it’s wrong with our. brains you know i would include. myself in this. so yeah having a strong friendship group. is important and i mean i’m very. fortunate because. aside from guys that i that i do that i. work with and that i collaborate with. for videos and things i’ve also got a. very very strong group of friends. um in london which is one of the reasons. i love london i’ve got it mainly in. london other places in the uk and. elsewhere but. very strong group of friends you know. guys who i’ve known maybe 15 20 years. some longer 30 years. who know me very very well. and i can call them literally anytime. day or night. and they know exactly where i’m coming. from they know what i’ve been through. they know what i’m like my temperament. etc etc etc so i can talk to them and i.

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Can get a pretty good read. on any. you know given situation that i might be. in. and that’s really great. so i think that you do need to cultivate. that. i think you do need to cultivate that. and if you don’t have that. do i have any easy answers for how to. get that um. not really but you need to look at the. people that are around you. and you need to really. cherish those people where you feel like. the friendship is a bit deeper or has. potential to be a bit deeper and you. really want to make an effort with those. people. because it is important you are going to. need that. particularly if you develop into a more. nomadic kind of a. nomadic kind of a character you are. going to need that. but i think the other thing and this is. perhaps what doesn’t get talked about. quite as much i think the other thing is. that we need to unplug a little bit.

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From. our sense of what conventional. friendships and relationships are meant. to be like. i think we need to unplug from the. social conditioning. that has led us to. think that we have to have certain types. of friendships if you see what i’m. saying i think we have to unplug from. there. so. you know. i have a big group of friends as i said. i’ve got people i can talk to at any. time day or night it doesn’t mean that. i’m in their pockets it doesn’t mean. that i’m going around for tea every. sunday do you know what i mean it. doesn’t mean that. um. we’re going on the school run together. or any of that kind of stuff which. obviously. for me i don’t have kids i’m not married. so that wouldn’t make any sense anyway. but you know what i’m saying. um you have to. try to develop friendships with people. who are in a similar sort of.

Social paradigm to you i think social. paradigm is is the right way to put it. okay because. i make no mistake right i mean i’ve got. friends of all going across the board. you know i’ve got mates who. you know maybe they are married they’re. working in the corporate job they’re. doing all that kind of stuff they’ve got. a very conventional kind of lifestyle. and of course i’m still friends with. those people i don’t want to not be. friends with somebody uh because they’re. doing something different to me if. anything. i like my friends to be from as wide a. group as possible. but. you can’t expect. somebody who’s paradigm in terms of. their socializing and in terms of their. life is completely opposed to yours to. really get what where you’re coming from. it’s just it’s just not going to work. you know it’s just not it’s not gonna.

Work. so. you need to find friends who are on the. same wavelength as you really and you. need to find friends who are doing. something similar to you and that’s why. i personally get on very well with james. tusk you know mld. people like this because. fundamentally we are. engaged in a very similar project you. know we’re doing we’re working in some. of the. i mean of course i can talk to people. who. don’t have youtube channels who don’t do. this kind of crazy stuff that we do. about things that happen to me in the. course of that line of work. and people get it and they give me. really good advice but nobody really. gets it to the same extent as people who. are doing you know who are who are in. exactly the same boat. so. oh look look at this they’ve got damien. hurst they’ve got banksy in here it’s. kind of fancy.

I don’t know if you can see that there’s. kind of like a. there’s like a storm trooper on the. floor. it’s like a fancy uh fancy gallery i. don’t know if you can see any of that uh. yeah so you want to find friends who are. basically in the same social paradigm as. you social and professional paradigm as. you because those are going to be your. mainstay those are going to be your. bedrock. in terms of identification because. identification is really important that. is to say do you identify with this. person does this person identify with. you do they have similar life. experiences to you. do they know where you’re coming from at. this particular point in your life the. way that you’re living your life now and. if you can find those kind of people. that will really really help you. let’s cross the road. getting into the center of town now lads.

That will really help you now. does that replace. being married and going home every night. and your wife putting on the dinner and. you sitting down and watching eastenders. together. no. it doesn’t replace it and. when people talk about loneliness a lot. of the time what they are thinking about. is a. you know committed relationship a. marriage a longterm relationship. whatever. where they got. their partner. do you have to have that. well this is really the number the. question isn’t it. society. tells us all to be more accurate society. has told us so i don’t think it’s. telling us quite as much now but society. has told us. that you need to have that. i don’t think you do because i think a. way you can organize your life and i. think this works i could be wrong i. could be wrong but i think this works is. the way that you can organize your life.

Is if you want to. you can date you can meet different. people to date and have romantic. relationships with have sex with. whatever. and those people. it doesn’t need to be serious with those. people necessarily those people will be. you’ll be close to them you’ll have fun. with them you’ll have a great time with. them spend weekends whatever. but it doesn’t necessarily mean that. you’re. you have to live with them or you have. to commit to them for life or anything. like that you know. it’s more casual than that it’s looser. and you notice i’m saying plural because. we’re not necessarily talking about. monogamy here we’re talking about you. know. an understanding that these are sort of. concurrent relationships dating. relationships. so you got that. and that satisfies. the need for. for sex for romance for female company.

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Or whatever. and then. you’ve also got these friends who are in. the same social and professional. paradigm as you. and those people. and you know it may just be phone calls. with those people or zoom calls or or. whatever you know it’s not necessarily. like. if you’re in the same city yeah you’re. going to be meeting up a lot but. if you’re traveling maybe you’re going. to be in different locations so it might. be remote but those people. are your bedrock in terms of. keeping you sane basically those are the. people who are going to. you’re going to talk to about all of. this stuff all of the live stuff that’s. going on and they’re going to give you. the council they’re going to give you. the advice that you need to make decent. sort of decisions and as i say basically. stay safe because that’s the name of the. game really.

With a lot of this stuff. and i think. there’s a reasonable compromise there i. think that that could work. you know because people as i said in a. recent video people will say yeah man. what’s the end game you know when are. you gonna when are you gonna. dip out the market and find the one and. blah blah blah. and look i mean that could happen. tomorrow who knows i can’t i can’t. foretell the future. but i do think that this model that i’m. outlining here. this newer model that i’m outlining here. it’s going to go down that. street there but it’s a bit dark i think. so carry on. i think can work. which is a mixture of covering off your. you know romantic basis. but also having that core group of uh. friends. and colleagues. who. give you the additional support that. you’re gonna need i think really with. those two things you’re kind of going to.

Be all right for the most part. music playing now. tottenham call road we’re just coming. around uh. sorry chiang cross road tottenham road. station. it’s pretty trancy kind of music this. dude’s playing um yeah i think those two. things together. will kind of keep you satiated for the. most part. for the most part. do you. what do you think put comments in the. comment box. below. because we all need love right we all. need love we need to feel but we need to. feel like we are understood and we need. people who. if you say right this particular thing. has happened to me or i’ve got to make. this particular. decision should i do this trip should i. spend my my money on this should i do. that you know blah blah blah should i. buy this property should i fill this. property you know you need the kind of. feedback on those things and a lot of.

People go to their wife for that but. maybe your wife. is not the right person to go to for. that maybe actually it’s better to go to. your coterie of largely male friends. who are in a similar sort of social. paradigm to you but you also you need. the other bit as well you also need the. dating stuff you need the uh. you know the sexual side of things you. need the romantic side of things. so you cover that off as well but you. cover that off. by. always being social. meeting different people when you travel. or when you go about your daily life. dating them. but making it understood that this is. not necessarily. a lifelong commitment and it’s not even. necessarily a monogamous commitment but. it’s you know you guys are having a good. time together. and that i think. together i think those two things fit. together.

And you can have a pretty good life. because let’s face it. let’s face it generally speaking. we always sleep better when we’re on our. own. in a vet don’t we pretty much i mean you. don’t need to. be sleeping next to somebody. for the entire rest of your life in a. bed in order to feel like a real whole. human being you shouldn’t need that. so. these are some musings. just some things i’ve been thinking. about recently. i don’t have a. definitive answer on this as yet. obviously. it’s all work in progress we’re all sort. of feeling our way with this stuff we’re. all thinking about this stuff but as i. say put your comments in the box below. let me know what you think does this. make sense does it is it workable what. i’m saying. let me know what you think. if you’re not already. then get onto my free daily email list.

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