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Fat Dating enough for me to date

Hey guys so I am back from my little. hiatus you know I come and go for my new. subscribers maybe I’ll stay this time. who knows but I recently got pretty. obsessed with this youtuber her name is. ex Charlie Gold ex Jesus plus size plus. size black youtuber and I just watched. her video that she made like two months. ago on not lowering your expectations. you know for plussize girls and I just. kind of want to share my experience also. with online dating she shared hers and. you know some advice too for um you know. us big girls because a lot of guys tend. to think we’re very easy and I believe. it’s because a lot of big girls are easy. because we’re insecure you know I feel. like there’s a reason why they’re gonna. assume this because most girls are gonna. you know go along with it I don’t blame. them I also was a very insecure girl I’m.

Not gonna say I’m like completely. confident now but you know I’m getting. there um but yeah some my experience. pretty much along with Charlie Gold. I have always done online dating yeah. because you know I just really I I dream. about getting married and I always felt. like I wasn’t gonna meet somebody in. person I kind of wanted to rush the. process so I’m like I let’s do online. dating I have never a gun into a. relationship doing online dating I’m I’m. a very picky person I will not just stay. anyone I always know if someone’s good. enough for me to date from the jump. I want to retain them um but everyone. I’ve spoken to online was never good. enough and that’s also because my like. my top my top thing like for knowing. that someone is good enough for me to. date my number one thing is how fast do. they talk about sex to me I don’t want.

To be with someone that just wants me. for sex I understand you could be. attracted to me but. try and discuss that trying to have sex. so quickly that that’s like a red flag. to me it’s just like you be not datin. because I I want someone where I know. they really liked me for me like my. personality my mind everything so yeah. and of course like every guy I’ve talked. to online. it always resorted into sex I’m even. very few guys where they would say that. they actually did want a relationship. because majority of them it was they. didn’t want a relationship I’m about. eight others later but the ones that did. want a relationship they would want a. relationship like their actions will. show like okay maybe they do want a. relationship but I feel like it was just. they just saying that just to have sex. um because it would always be sex or sex.

What they want to talk about and it’s. like okay like that can come later like. why you worried about that now but I was. gonna say so my experience with online. dating has been terrible I officially. stopped like two months ago I do not. plan on going back I’m on a whole new. journey with God and I believe I have a. soul mate and I dunno I don’t believe in. online dating um I just I don’t I don’t. think we should be out here really. looking for somebody I feel like God. does that ready for us we already have. somebody and all we have to do was work. on ourselves and heal and learn to love. ourselves to be ready to be in a. relationship. I feel like online dating we end up. prematurely getting into a relationship. before we’re not even we’re not even. ready mentally emotionally we’re not. ready and then that ends up you know.

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With turning into problems in the. relationship so um in Charlie’s video. she was saying how she did a social. experiment her and her friend who is her. friend I guess is some skinny girl that. looks like a IG model like she said they. her friend made an account on the same. app that charlie is on and they compared. she wants to see what the messages would. look like and it was interesting because. they were both pretty much getting. messages from the same guys. but their approaches were completely. different so the messages Charlie’s. friend was getting was like oh hey can I. get to know you you know more polite. ones. um but what Charlie was getting was hi. what you doing what them lips do. oh you look sexy whatever stuff like. that and she just thought it was so. interesting because men when they see a. big girl they assume like I don’t even.

Got to try it out hard like I really. want from her sex anyway um you know and. it’s the messages she gets that she was. getting in the same messages it’s the. same messages that I would get like and. it really would boggle my mind cause. it’s like but and it’s just so crazy. because it’s like yeah I would get the. same interest to like oh just WYD not. I’m just like didn’t like why would you. approach me this way hi not even a hey. how are you just hi um and it’s. interesting because she said in the. video that even though she got those. messages she was still looking through. their profile to see if it was worth. messaging them back and that’s what I. would do to like I would I would know. like Dan the way they approached him. actually be messaging him back but it’s. like well I guess they’re kind of cute. so I get you know and so in that way we.

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Kind of lower our standards because we. feel like we won’t get better or we. don’t understand our selfworth and some. I mean why our friend was just like. roasting them like didn’t even cares. like whatever like he too short anyway. like like even though her the messages. were polite but it’s like she was saying. you know you never know like yeah you. see a beautiful girl I do my looking. type girl but she would even know like. she’ll be here clownin you mean while. I’m over here still trying to like I. don’t know I don’t know explain it but. yeah I can go watch her video I’ll put a. link in my description it was really. good um so yeah it definitely can relate. another thing that would be super. annoying is cuz for a very long time it. was always that I’m looking for. relationship it was always down my. profile and so I would go to other do.

Profiles and they’ll say they’re looking. for Alicia to like oh I’m seriously. looking for Alicia and this and that. even on tinder and I hope you like oh. yeah it’s like I’ll swipe right but like. still coming to my messages like with. some offthe-wall stuff or I’ll be like. oh so what are you looking for I so you. know like I’ll still acts just just. because I’m sure about conversation so. that’s like something I always throw in. there and they’re like oh nothing. serious whatever meanwhile other. profiles are something different and. it’s like dang like and mind you Dobby. the ones that hit me up so it’s like you. know you see how they just want you for. something like you know they don’t want. to take you seriously you’re not pretty. enough or skinny enough to for them to. take you seriously but it’s like to have.

Sex and it’s just like that would hurt. me like I’ll be so confused like give me. your profile says you want a. relationship yet the message is. something completely different like damn. okay so you don’t only ship with me. all right think about my messages um but. yeah um that was annoying also just I. remember I follow this girl on Instagram. and I when I first found her she’s a fat. black girl and she was on her story she. was like I think she’s kind of drug is. she just like why do guys just want to. have sex with me no one wants to Damien. I was like yo I can seriously relate. like why do they just want to have sex. like they never want to date it’s always. just sex and that’s all they view us as. and I didn’t really know myself where I. had lower my standards so you know how I. always will put that wasn’t relationship.

Eventually I stopped putting that. because I’m like anybody gonna want to. date me so just like well I guess I’ll. take what I can take you know okay I got. so much friends with benefits this and. that meanwhile wheeze knew deep down I. wanted a relationship and that’s what. like honestly the best advice I can give. you one of the best devices is if you. really actually want a relationship do. not settle for friends with benefits or. to just hook up or stuff like that. because it’s only gonna hurt you in the. long run go for what you actually want. trust me. so you. yeah so I what else online dating um I. would also talk to guys that wasn’t even. that cute because like I’ll be like well. I guess they’re cute enough for me like. a lot of time I was like right on guys. that was even cute and then once they. messaged me I’m like like messaging me.

Am i over I asked like right on them and. I’m like what was you thinking like oh. or don’t message me on top of them. and then like a little bit I’m like yo. they’re not even cute but I would feel. like day like that’s the best I could do. which is why I also wouldn’t gain. relationship with them because I’m not. gonna date somebody that I’m not totally. attracted to you know um but yeah don’t. do that you know don’t know where your. your standards like if you really don’t. think and do it is all bad. I understand it’s like okay well. personality is better I agree with that. twig sign you know like person I feel. like personality and looks is it I feel. like because I feel like a lot of people. say personality is better than people. that say that are usually like plussize. girls you know girls I don’t really. think they’re pretty so of course.

They’re gonna be like well personality. no sis their personality Nataly their. personality and their looks should be on. point you should be completely attracted. like it shouldn’t be well they’re kind. of cute no like I refuse I absolutely. refuse I am not about to marry no man. that is kind of cute like I have to. really be attracted to you and I feel. like that’s the insecurity and SS like. well personality over looks you know the. personalize what really matters yes. their personality matters but I feel. like both have to come handin-hand you. know um I feel like I’m Way more likely. to cheat if I’m not that attracted to. you so I feel like we should really stop. doing I like if you really are not that. attractive to them leave it alone don’t. think this is probably the best I can do. that’s the problem and I feel like.

There’s a problem online dating. it leads you more to think that this. could possibly be the best that I can do. I don’t think we should be looking to I. don’t believe in just date and just a.m.. multiple people like I don’t see the. point. you just setting yourself up for her I. feel like we all just have that one. person that is are so mean um that other. dating stuff like I don’t know it’s like. if I’m not for sure that you’re my my. soul me that I’m really not bout to. bother with you and you know I if you. want to know how to identify who your. soul mate is there’s a video on YouTube. called five keys to identifying your. soul mate pastor that’s her name. pastor Sara Jake Roberts husband spoke. on that that’s his video um definitely a. really great video if you’re if you. believe in God because the last thing is.

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To get confirmation from God which he. will confirm if you have a relationship. with him and not know I’m not talking to. lukewarm relationship reading a verse. three times a year praying a couple of. times you know like fullon relationship. with God where you are hearing from him. he will let you know if that sure so me. or not but yeah so I’ve also decided to. write down I mean I’m along with praying. for my soul mate I’m writing down my. expectations I’m not lowering my expect. I’m actually hiring them because they. were pretty low but now it’s like I no. longer do that whole Netflix and chill I. feel like I’m a grownass woman I want a. man do not ask me do do not ask me to. sit in a car with you while you smoke. because that’s something I have done was. aiding or it come nothing sin chill like. none of that actually on a date but.

Extra on a date I feel like that is not. too much to ask for I feel like our. culture we make it so normal now. suggests a Netflix and chill as a date. or let’s just smoke I guess if you smoke. go ahead you I don’t smoke no more so. to me that is just not okay probably if. I what if I was smoking I probably did. it still I was talking more like I’ve. that’s a whole other thing that’s a. whole other video. but ya know like. I don’t do that I want to be taking on a. day I wanna be taking out though. don’t take me on a date and after you. trying to get in my pants like nothing. like that like for me it’s always been. like I feel like if you really respect. me you’re not gonna try and push sucks. I’m you’re not gonna try and keep. talking about you’re not gonna that’s. not gonna happen I feel like a real man. was not doing at least I mean you pray.

About I won’t do that I know we all tend. to believe all men are like that. majority but are like that but the man. for you whatever you pray about whatever. you want them they will be that um you. know we also gotta say I’m not going to. that but but yeah so that’s like my. expectations you don’t have expectations. of having a job having a car before I. would be like damn don’t got a car while. I right there no likes to me it’s like. you’re a whole man like I’m not by. digging 16 18 or I’m 23 I’m 20 I’m 22. I’m about to be 23 next week so. basically I’m 23 so I expect you to have. your stuff together but of course if. you’re gonna have your stuff together I. have to have my stuff together to you. know it’s not gonna be no onesided. thing but that’s also why I’m not dating. now because I don’t have my stuff. together I have not completely healed or.

Far along in my healing process to even. start dating yet I always thought I was. ready to date when I thought I was. confident cuz I honestly thought you. only needed to be confident until last. year I really start to learn about. killing and stuff like that and we need. to heal from our past you know cuz these. things are just gonna come up in. relationships and just mess it all up. and you don’t want your partner having. to deal with that kind of stuff so if. you are Christian I know the word. healing is its popular now whether. you’re Christian or not it’s a popular. thing that Oddie to heal whatever I do. feel like a lot of people don’t really. have a good understanding of what. healing actually is you know I feel like. you can’t really be healing in a. relationship or healing and dating it. just don’t make no sense you need to.

Take some time and learn how to be by. yourself and heal wire by yourself. but only I personally believe the only. way to really truly heal is through God. not okay. don’t confuse what I’m trying to say you. can’t heal through like therapy and. stuff like that but I mean like. personally I need God to heal so really. heal ID’d him I also need a therapist of. course I need a psychiatrist but God is. my main source of healing but yeah so. I’m currently not dating for the first. time in for like first time ever I’ve. always been dating always as in like on. apps and stuff because you know I don’t. like to be alone I like the attention. whenever I start to feel insecure I. would go on the apps and have someone. call me pretty not force them but you. know like someone’s gonna call me pretty. and just go by myself like okay I’m good.

Now but you know I wanna get so stage. where I don’t need that um that I just I. know I’m pretty I don’t need someone to. tell me that so yeah that’s all I’m done. dating I’m learning to be by myself and. also to just heal I’m also celibate now. because you know he’s so tired there’s. real people and it’s just I just want to. wait until marriage you know I’m doing. things a different way I fully given. myself to God which means I’m completely. I’ve completely changed my life which I. never ever thought I would do but um. actually no when I was younger I always. knew I would do this I kind of knew. would be around this age too which is. crazy but in my adult life ninety this. was gonna happen right now. um but yeah so that’s my journey and. yeah I just wanted to advise you guys. like do not lower your expectations.

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Do not start dating people that you. ain’t even had tried to oh they kind of. cute but like they’re personalized. really nice no you need to be attracted. to them trust me there are people out. there that you will be attracted to and. they’ll have a really great personality. now I’m not saying be shallow I don’t. believe in that girl if they cute they. cute they nothing not um that’s just not. for you and also like guys. he’ll heal yourselves before you get. into these relationships seriously if. you’re constantly in and out of. relationships learn how to be by. yourself trust me like yeah I don’t. realize or yeah probably have realized. but when you exit out these. relationships y’all are less a high. asommus highrise mess than before yeah. I wasn’t a relationship because not by. yourself again young it was going on.

Like oh my god I’m by myself I’m alone I. don’t know what to do know like god. that’s why I need to heal and enjoy. learn how to love being by yourself so. that you know if a relationship does a. door to me it’s like if my husband dies. cuz the relationship being ended but if. he dies before me I’m straight. even though of course we’re still gonna. be sad but you know what I mean you know. you ain’t gonna be really like grieving. grieving you’re not gonna be grieving. for as long some people they got. relationship and they’re literally. grieving for like years or something. it’s like like come on get it. together. you shouldn’t have to grieve that long. you know someone’s not meant to be there. in your life they just not let it go not. saying you got a rushing you know cry. little whatever but dumb don’t stay too.

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