Hi I’m coach Cory Wayne this is my video. coaching newsletter and the topic of. today’s newsletter is going to be dating. when you have kids well if you’re a. single parent and you’ve got small. children if you’re like most parents who. is probably going out a lot of different. dates and I say if you’re watching my. stuff for a while you’re going out a lot. of different dates and the subject. probably comes up of at what point. should you introduce your kids to. someone you’re dating now when I was one. of the girls I wrote about in my book. she had a small daughter when I first. first met her at the time she was about. she was in kindergarten as kindergarten. and was about to start first grade that. the following year and I remember we. were talking I would say she was very. open about talking about her daughter.
And and I did meet her briefly when I. when I first started dating her just. kind of like said hello when I went over. to her grandparents house to pick her up. and because she had left her her. daughter there with her parents when we. went out on her date so I got to meet. her parents and I met her little girl. and and I which you know couldn’t help. but fall in love with her because she. was just a little angel. and so I remember a lot of you know the. time that we were they were dating at. least we you know those first few months. we were dating you know because if you. read my book you know it was kind of. like back and forth with her sometimes I. went from just being a friend to I was a. little bit more than a friend then she. put me back a friendship zone I’d say no. I’m the interested in that I walk away.
And she’d always come back and obviously. get me back and so I remember her saying. that I don’t want a lot of guys coming. into and out of her life obviously you. have a small child and you know for a. mother she’s like hey mom who are all. these guys that you keep going out with. and it’s like every time I see you it’s. always so many different or just as soon. as I get what used to one guy who I. really like I thought he was cool then. you’re dating somebody else and so the. question comes up is you know when is it. appropriate and in my opinion and. because I’ve dated quite a few women. that have had children over the. years from other relationships and if. you’re gonna date you’re going to do. online dating more than likely you’re. going to come across a woman who also. has kids from another relationship and.
So you know the question is like at one. point to introduce him to your kids and. so to me what I found the best thing is. that you want to wait until the. relationships established until you’re. at the point where I mean ideally it’s. really when your boyfriend/girlfriend is. when you should I mean I would think. right around that time that’s starting. to happen like you know say you’re. dating a gal and you’ve got you know. your guy and you got a couple little. kids like because I actually got an. email here from a guy who’s got a. daughter from a previous relationship. and some of the women get irritated with. him when he doesn’t introduce his. daughter to them and and he’s just like. my you know one of my other girlfriends. I wrote about my book was like she’s. like I don’t want just random dudes. coming into and out of her life all the.
Time or the same guy coming in and out. of her life whitening him which kind of. happened you know when we were when she. and I were dating you know for obvious. reasons because a child becomes attached. and so it’s at some point the. introduction has to be there but if. you’re just kind of casually dating. someone and you’re just kind of you’re. sleeping with them and but you’re not. exclusive with them yet and there’s no. talk of that you’re just hanging out. having a good time leave it casual and. if you’re a guy watching this then you. know that as far as the relationship. goes or marriage or when it’s time to. become exclusive all those things as a. man those are not important subjects to. you why because it’s the one was the. part because if you’re doing everything. right she’s gonna be chasing and. pursuing you more and more as her.
Interest level goes up and as she her. entry her romantic interest level goes. up and she starts to fall in love with. you she’s going to want to spend more. and more time with you to the point. where you’re living under the same roof. and so if you’re just casually dating. someone and then I wouldn’t you know. obviously can talk about your kids show. them pictures but I wouldn’t introduce. Douce them at all to your to your. children until you know that there’s a. really. a chance and you’re not gonna know this. until several weeks or a couple of. months of actually dating the same. person and going on and you know several. dates maybe about a dozen dates or so. whether or not this is something that. you actually want to get exclusive with. now a lot of guys are just finding out. about my work or you know their their.
Their criteria for an exclusive. relationship is oh she’s really pretty. now that’s terrible especially if you. got kids you know the right way the. pragmatic and the objective way to. approach it is after they’ve proven to. themselves over time that they’re going. to treat you the way you want to be. treated then you can maybe you know plan. at you know especially if she starts. bringing up becoming exclusive or dating. you know unless it’s a couple of months. in or at least a month or so and you’ve. been on at least half a dozen dates or. so and you want to introduce your. daughter or your son or your little kids. to this or your children to this person. that you’re dating you can have ever. come over I have a dinner or whatever or. take her to dinner and you know just a. quick dinner or whatever and introduce.
Just watch how she interacts with your. child but in the beginning I wouldn’t I. wouldn’t bring him anywhere near your. kids because you know like I said. they’re on probation just like you’re on. probation with them and you know having. involving your child is a big deal. because you want to make sure you’re. involving them with somebody only that. has a potential to be in their life on a. longer basis and not some of you’re just. hanging out and hooking up with and they. want to hang out with your your kids. just because they love kids so and it’s. like they gotta earn it so he says I. always enjoy relating you’re reading. your relationship calm. I always reread your book very good I. have an eightyear-old daughter of which. she lives with me about 50% of time. she’s my inspiration and the center of. my life lately I have been dating and.
Spiritual Maturity In Dating
Ended because I’m not ready to try and. convince her over and over when my. daughter doesn’t need a thousand women. flying through the door and here’s a. deal this is your daughter she has no. connection and these women that you’re. dating and so until you’re ready to. introduce them it’s offlimits and just. say I really like you and I enjoy you. but you know this is just the way that. myself and my daughter’s mother have. agreed that we want to raise our child. together and you know until we’re at the. point you’re saying less we’re at the. point where we’re exclusive and it’s a. really serious relationship and I’m. convinced that you’re going to be around. for a long time that we’re gonna be. together for a long time I’m not gonna. you may meet her briefly but we’re not. going to do a lot together and we’re not.
Going to interact together a lot until. you know I see that it’s the appropriate. time and I’m just you know I’m sorry but. I’m not gonna compromise and those. principles I’m very flattered that you. want to meet my daughter and you want to. hang out with her and you want to spend. time with her but it’s just it’s way too. new in the beginning and so you know I. would appreciate it if you know you just. be patient with me and respect my. beliefs and my my daughter’s mother’s. beliefs of how we want to raise our. daughter and respect that and women that. have a good attitude and are flexible. and who want to win you they’ll be cool. with that. now other women that want to try to. force you or be a pain in the ass about. it maybe they’re needy or they take that. as rejection that you don’t want you. because some women will take it that way.
They’ll take it is you don’t want to. introduce them. because you don’t really like them that. much it’s just if they’re not patient. and they’re not willing to go the. distance it’s just hey you just all you. have to do is say to them and say say. this saying you know this this is just. how I’m gonna raise my children and it’s. like if you don’t like that or you have. a problem with that then you’re free you. know you it’s you know I’ll understand. if you don’t want to date or you want to. date somebody else it’s totally cool. were they just you do the takeaway on. that’s the best best way to handle it. and if she’s willing to go along with. your terms when it cuz this is your. daughter it ain’t her daughter. it’s really none of her goddamn business. because she hasn’t earned it yet she’s. not your daughter’s mother and you’re.
Not going to introduce her and have her. start mothering and mentoring your. daughter only to dump her a few weeks. later when she does something that. pisses you off because you’d only been. on three or four dates with her don’t. compromise your principles it’s just. this is what you want this is what you. and and the your your daughter‘s mother. has agreed upon as far as raising your. child’s hey it’s not open for a. negotiation or discussion here and. you’re not gonna be a dick about it. you’re just gonna say this you know this. is these are my principles and this is. and I want a woman who understands that. and says you know what that’s a really. good idea it’s like as much as I’d love. to meet your daughter I don’t want to. meet her unless I know that once because. I don’t want to form a bond and become. attached to your daughter and then we.
You know we end up stop seeing each. other and then I’ve got to go through. the heartbreak of not being able to have. that relationship and the same thing. with your daughter that’s a smart way to. do it an adult who has kids of their own. or who has friends and have kids they. would understand and if the woman. doesn’t understand it just say hey give. me a call if you change your mind. because the end of day is just this is. your child and you get to determine. who’s in her life and who’s not and. don’t compromise on it if you’re not. ready or you don’t feel control tough. sorry you know sorry if that that. hurts you know hurts hurts her feelings. or whatever but this is it is what it is. so if you find this message of value you. can show your appreciation by going down. to the web’ atul bar which is at the. bottom of your screen if you’re watching.
This video my website and click the Pay. Pal donate button and donate any amount. that you feel is equal to the value of. the information. in this video at the very least please. share this page with all your friends. and family by clicking any one of the. social networks sharing buttons which. are also located on there will be a. toolbar at the bottom of your screen and. if you have a topic or a question that. you want to ask me you can click the. contact me tab on the left hand side of. your screen is 73 or 4 paragraphs detail. in your situation max because I get a. lot of email from the internet and I. also get a lot of email from my paying. phone coaching customers I always got to. focus on my paying customers emails. first but be patient I will get back to. you and if you want to talk to me right. away to help you with a situation or a.