So there’s this portion of scripture in. Genesis the story of creation a lot of. people overlook it but there’s this. conversation that Adam is having with. God madam says I mean it’s after God had. created even you know there’s this. beautiful harmony this beautiful. relationship and Adam says to God this. is God and gods like Adam it’s like do. you do you appreciate Eve do you like. Eve and I’m like yeah I really. whew yeah you do good work like I you. know I man I love I love Eve and gods. like good that’s good at him and I’m. like but I got a question God like why. um why did you make her voice just so. soft like it like an angel it just just. in my ears it’s just it’s met you know. he’s like Oh Adam. that’s so you would love her he’s like. ah god I got another question why why. did you why didn’t you just. you made her skin just so so soft like.
Just to hold her hand like you just why. did you do that he’s like well Adam. that’s that’s so you would love her she. God and He Adams a God okay one more. question yeah yeah her hair my god it’s. it’s so it’s just it’s so soft and it. smells like delightful like it just I. just God why did you make her hair so so. amazing and God would say Adam he’s like. it’s so you would love her he’s like oh. she’s amazing he goes god I got one more. question one more question. why did you make her so dumb God pauses. and then God says Oh Adam that’s so she. could love you. oh alright alright alright so uh yeah. like as you’re coming in and take a seat. please come in quietly we’re gonna keep. moving cuz we got a time limit here but. just we’re talking about dating we’re. talking about relationships a little bit. give you a heads up we’re gonna I’m only.
Going to share with you for for a few. minutes and then we’re gonna bring Katie. on stage and we’re gonna dive into some. of those questions that you all have. been sending in so maybe you have. questions on your mind you’re in your. heart we’re gonna try best to get to. most of them on that on that she wanna. my most and there’s been a lot of them. but a lot of them kind of repeat and. consolidate but hopefully we’re gonna. answer out some of the questions you. guys sent in I will say right now this. this workshop is not necessarily meant. to be like tips on dating like how you. can too can find a girlfriend you know. like not that so like I know a lot of. the dudes are like crap like you were my. one shot you know and we’re gonna talk. about dating but but we can’t really. cram a ton of stuff into this a little.
Bit of time so we’re talking about some. important things but mainly mainly we. want to get to your questions and we. want to get you hopefully thinking and. conversing about the idea of. relationships in a different way and if. you do have a lot of questions I am. gonna volunteer your youth ministers. right now they would love to have every. question you have ever had about dating. and sex and things of that nature youth. ministers you’re welcome I’m just saying. Shh. I mean that sincerely though in that Shh. since Julian that I think a lot of times. as Catholics we have a lot of questions. but we don’t seek out answers and maybe. that’s because we’re not sure where to. go for the answers or maybe we feel this. kind of fear that if we ask a question. we’re gonna be condemned or somehow view. differently know like here’s a beautiful.
Thing about truth truth can withstand. any question you throw at it so the. truth about your sexuality the truth. about you as a human being the truth. about relationships it can stand any. question you can throw at it because at. the end of the day truth is bigger than. something some opinion we’ve just made. up truth stands outside of us so we can. have the courage to ask questions and to. sift through answers in fact we should. if we actually care about ourselves and. about relationships and about what God. says about that we should ask questions. so please feel free to send any in if. you haven’t already if we don’t get to. your question today hit up your youth. minister we want to continue to walk. with you in this so that being said I. want to just enter the session the best. way I could think possible and so uh I.
Have a very brief clip a little video. clip I just wanted to send it your way. since we’re talking about dating just go. ahead and watch yourself in the screen. for me real quick. describe your a perfect date. I’d have to say April 25th because it’s. not too hot not too cold all you need is. a light jacket describe your perfect. date describe your perfect date and she. says April 25th but good reason right. not too hot not too cold you see the. light jacket I think this is funny. because the reality is we’re talking. about dating and I think even that word. has a lot of different definitions some. good some bad some some healthy some. unhealthy among not only this room but. among the culture that we live in and so. I’m gonna try a few things we got to do. this super super quick but I want to try. this real quick I need I need three.
Stop The Games Dating Site Free
Ladies three ladies okay I’ll take you. to sitting next to each other and you. come on up right here and I need three. guys three guys hey Shh you and the gray. hoodie and either do it on the side of. you. no no just three of you just you three. come on you three that were sitting. together you three okay cool you two and. then you go perfect all right come on up. shh shh I don’t have a lot of time but I. want to UM I want to get through this. real quick I think this might be. important well oh maybe we’ll see whoa. whoa whoa whoa you’re right that’s good. so real quickly real quickly Shh I have. a few terms and I’m going to in a minute. put up on the screen and here’s what I. need you to do you you all are going to. come up the best you can with like a. onesentence answer okay I don’t want to. say lilyc we I don’t want a speech no.
Shoutouts No what’s up just just a quick. answer okay are we clear on that. gentleman good okay good good good good. all right. so you’re gonna answer this question. though not necessarily how you think I. want it to be answered right so we don’t. want like the Johnny youth group answer. you know the church answer you’re gonna. answer this question on behalf of the. general. kind of cultural consensus when it comes. to a woman okay so not even necessarily. how you specifically know the answer. would be but like if you were to get all. the women together that I don’t know go. to your school and how would they answer. this question or maybe all the women. together in a certain area how would. they answer this question got it. same with you but for the dudes right. got it good gold okay so could we get. out first word up on the screen please.
The simple phrase a date you have 30. seconds to talk amongst yourselves right. now and I want a one word or one. sentence answer on what a date is go 30. seconds you’ll want to count with me. should we go 30 and down or one and up. or you’re starting just continue then. whatever whatever. if you’re done early he’ll you can let. me know you guys are done can I just. show you hold on whisper count whisper. countless Shh can I just show you the. question is what’s a date the guys are. done the girls are they’re having like a. council you can be like they’re electing. a pope over here like this is a big. thing we’re good. good done thank you alright so this. isn’t a right or wrong answer either I. just want to help us in the room today. they identify some ways that we think. about these terms came cool so simple. sentence answer what is a date a guy and.
A girl spending romantic quality time. together. okay okay okay you got this all right. what is a date if you don’t have sex on. the first date she’s not worth going on. another date with. now here’s the thing hold on Shh stop. stop hey hey Shh on again reiterate he’s. doing he’s answering this question not. on behalf of hammer on behalf of his. group and on how would a group of guys. in our culture typically refer to this K. and I think by gentlemen gentlemen show. of hands how he would say some sort of. perspective about a date is pretty. accurate like what he said according to. our world my feelings good it is. terrible I’m not saying it’s good I’m. not saying it’s good all right jr. Shh. good good hands down all right next next. word okay now I know it seems very. similar but this might be a little bit. different how does a culture to find.
This word you have 30 seconds go 2928. you get you take your time you’re good. all right stops done thank you all right. Shh gentlemen culturally speaking how. would how would guys generally define. dating exclusive like whenever you say. we’re girlfriend/boyfriend to be dating. okay that’s it when you’re exclusive. okay cool so since a commitment there is. that why I took y’all so long to come up. with the answer involved commitment I. get it I get it no I get it. stop it stop it stop it stop it. it’s called discernment they’re not. rushing into anything in the right good. job all right all right over here how. would how would ladies describe it Shh. having exclusive sexual interactions. this good answer that’s good that’s I. mean that’s a heartbreaking answer with. that but but I would rise it ladies. ladies just by a show of hands when you.
Look at the world when you think about. maybe the media or the news or the. celebrities or whatever it is that we. interact with in some way how do you. think that kind of sounds like an. accurate definition according to the. world standards mmm good hands down. thank you all right. next word seeing each other I guess it’s. a phrase now the word right now we’re. getting alone into the Nitty Gritty here. 30 seconds on the clock ready and go. you guys are good huh you go I’m coming. to you with this answer all right good. all right done Shh ladies how would. culturally the ladies generally speak. seeing a defined seeing each other. flirting with a boy or a girl so seeing. each other is flirting all right all. right that’s the consensus okay good. good good gentlemen. Shh essentially just seeing each other. like completely naked.
It’s a very literal approach very. literal okay it’s good no okay okay okay. good. Shh huh what it is it is yeah that is a. horrible answer nothing you guys give. him um but I’m saying if this is how the. court culture maybe interprets that. that’s a sad thing so good all right. let’s go one more I think let’s go next. one. see a lot of you were like wait I I use. all these words to mean the same thing. and that you know so this is why we’re. doing it. 30 seconds on the clock ready Oh ten. seconds on the clock ready set go. all right Shh all right gentlemen. culturally speaking how do guys. generally interpret this phrase sex with. no strings attached you don’t even need. to know her name or see her again. Wow Wow it’s an interesting reaction. it’s a very I think I think that’s. probably a very accurate definition.
Culturally speaking all right ladies sex. no strings attached okay all right well. I don’t want to applaud for these. answers because they’re heartbreaking. but can you applaud for my helpers here. as they find their seats thank you very. much thank you. so I wanted to share that one I. personally I mean I wanted to kind of. get to know you all and culturally where. we’re kind of your generations at and I. wanted you to maybe in a simple way look. in the mirror at your generation and. this isn’t meant to be again. condemnation this is meant to point out. that here we are trying to talk about. something called dating 101 and yet. there’s so much confusion about even. these terms so much misinterpretation so. many variations in definition and even. the fact think about this for a second. even the fact that we just looked at I.
Don’t know maybe four or five I can’t go. around four or five different words that. all surround what maybe 50 years ago was. one word or two words you see as a. society as culture in relationships we. keep sort of disintegrating we keep. taking this this thing that I believe. there is a whole numbers there’s an. ideal there’s a purpose a plan as in. which God designed relationships and yet. socially we keep messing that up to the. point that we have to start redefining. no no this is hooking up no that’s. date I won’t go on a date no no we’re. not dating we’re hooking up but you know. and there’s this huge disintegration. between and let’s be honest we even get. to the point that well let’s not define. it at all I’ll just text you and you. know when i text you you know like how. are we supposed to actually have healthy.
Relationships if we has such chaos such. disintegration so for this purpose we’re. gonna talk about the idea of dating. dating in a healthy way in a holy way. we’ll get to some of these answers a. little bit in a minute but but doesn’t. involve we’re not talking to hooking up. okay I guess I guess this is my mister. we’re not talking about seeing each. other naked we’re talking about a date. we’re talking about what a wholly. healthy relationship can look like we’re. gonna talk about the purpose of this. idea of dating some of you probably. heard you can shout out the answer it’s. a big room but but if I were to ask you. what is the goal of dating what would be. the youth group answer that you probably. have been told awesome good job youth. ministers keep it up keep it up I’m just. saying give you inches around applause.
All right Shh so then I guess the next. question is what is marriage. making babies it’s hard smoking like a. husband all right see hey see dating is. to prepare us for marriage marriage is. this holy sacrament that God instilled. within the human body that a man and a. woman will be able to love each other. selflessly sacrificially and that love. would be so real so present that life. could actually come from it. you see marriage I’m not gonna go on. this tangent but marriage wasn’t a. manmade invention we didn’t get. together and say hey you know what let’s. create marriage no no marriage was. something we discovered and by we. discovered I mean we actually come to. realize to discover this is the proper. working of a human culture think about. it real quickly how does a culture. survive how does a culture continue to.
Exist babies babies don’t fall from. skies babies come from sex. yet most of our world is very surprised. by that fact a baby is born and what. does a baby need when it’s born. everything everything a baby is. incapable of taking care of themself so. a baby needs care commitment sacrifice. and if you think if you go way way way. back until I kind of random cultures and. tribes and villages that would come up. think about if you were lived in a small. village let’s just say 50 people in this. village and there was a baby born and. then the parents left it and abandoned. it how detrimental would that be for the. wellbeing of the. village see eventually it’s gonna erode. the village because the village Minh has. to take on all these responsibilities. take on all these different things and. village says no no no you don’t get it.
When man and woman come together a baby. as a natural product and the baby needs. commitment a baby needs needs care needs. proper people to provide for it so you. will publicly stand before this village. and declare that now until when that. baby can take care of itself you will. commit to each other and to this baby we. need to know for the sake of our village. that you are committed in sacrificial. love to each other into the care of this. family because if you don’t it will. deteriorate our village we can’t be. strong when the enemy attacks we can’t. uphold ourselves we we need your. commitments to each other into this. family so we as a village can thrive and. grow see it’s natural it’s ringing of. nature that there’s this order of life. and this order of life surrounds around. this idea of marriage and it needs a.
Selfless sacrificial love to care for. each other and for this family that. would come from it in good times and in. bad in sickness and in health these are. the marriage vows for a reason so here’s. the thing though dating is supposed to. help us lead to marriage that doesn’t. mean right now if you’re dating you’re. supposed to get married next year some. dudes are like thank God some girls are. like teardrop I already had a planned. out Thanks Pinterest so I’d know I feel. sorry for y’all get married nowadays. because my wife and I got married before. Pinterest was a thing and that meant. that there was no intrusion on our. wedding we didn’t have to have a wedding. for the sake of the photos we actually. just got to have a wedding like it was. really enjoyable Pinterest ruins lives. move on. so if dating is to lead to marriage then.
What exactly should dating do the thing. about dating is that it gives us a. chance to discover ourselves discover. others and discover God’s place in. relationships. dating can be a very healthy thing in. the right order because dating through. relationships through interaction with. people is how you actually come to know. more and more about what makes you tick. more more about your needs more more. about how you’re supposed to love others. you see we can’t learn to love someone. in a vacuum in isolation. dating is this great period of time. where you can learn how to love people. you can learn what you like and don’t. like in the idea of a future spouse and. you should you should learn what what. you like and what you don’t like when it. comes to people’s personalities and. characteristics before you marry that.
Person this is part of the good about. dating but but like many things in. culture or society starts to twist it. starts to distort it we’re dating should. be a place where we can grow learn about. each other learn about likes dislikes. learn how to love learn how to care and. sacrifice culture kind of loves dating. what we’re referring to into just this. huge hookup culture that immediately. like you like someone you make sure that. you get their attention they like you. and then if well we heard it if you. don’t have sex after the first date it’s. not worth pursuing right seekin culture. is really confused dating and they’ve. mangled this up and so how can we. actually enter in and learn and discern. if we don’t allow God to reorder our. ways of thought our ways of approaching. dating we can’t look to the world to do.
It because they don’t understand what. it’s for. the world doesn’t understand the beauty. and the holiness and the sacredness of. marriage and the world then by virtue. that won’t understand the steps it takes. to understand what we need to do and who. we need to become in this process of. learning to love this process of dating. because dating is about learning who you. are and who others are what you like and. don’t like you know that means it means. you can do it in a group you can. actually just be friends. but see again culture says no no no you. want to date someone you and them. romantically time alone go no it’s be. honest we all have a sex drive sidenote. god made sex I don’t know if that’s news. for you. but like think about it for a second. sometimes you think the church hates sex. no the church is a huge supporter of all.
Things God made and the goodness he made. them if you don’t have a sex drive. that’s probably not a sign that you’re. living you see don’t confuse a sex drive. or sexual attraction for something bad. something that’s lustful it can be if we. distort it if we let it go places it’s. not meant to go so see in this context. of dating when here we come as human. beings who have these different sex. drives and different attractions and. different things it may not be the. smartest thing for us to jump into this. immediate loan time with this person. that were romantically involved with. because just maybe we haven’t learned. our weaknesses and our strengths well. enough to actually control ourselves in. this moment. maybe we’ll be far more tempted to use. the person than to learn how to actually. sacrifice and love the person see when.
It comes to marriage sex is one. expression of love it’s a good holy. godgiven expression of married love but. it’s only one expression of love within. marriage and you know what it’s the. easiest expression of love and marriage. sex is the easy part the commitment the. sacrifice the selflessness the. committing to be with them in sickness. that’s the difficult love to go through. these hardships with someone you’re. committed to that’s the hard part. that’s the agape the sacrificial love. that actually makes a marriage so. beautiful and so wholly sex is just a. part of it and we’ll tell you right now. brothers and sisters if you cannot allow. God to teach you. what it means to sacrificially love one. another then you are not ready for. marriage you won’t have what it takes to. live through marriage because marriage.
Isn’t simply sex it’s one expression of. marriage marriage is much bigger and so. this is why dating is important because. Danny means we can learn how to. sacrificially love people how to serve. people how to honor people how to. anticipate each other’s needs without. resorting to just simply sex simply. reducing them to this object a couple. things I want to cover before removing. the qat Katie you’re welcome to come on. up here real quickly if you’re back. there or not. dan do Tim I want to throw up this once. like hey guys in the back please give. that slide that says um it’s like four. or five points about things to keep in. mind for dating you’re good yes perfect. I want to share this real quick because. I think it’s important but again we know. a lot of time I encourage you go to. chastity calm great website terms of.
Resources tons of information you want. to ask questions you want to learn more. and more about how to be this holy. person to pursue chastity chastity by. the way is this rightly integrated idea. of our sexuality we talked about this. order right. anytime we would seek to use sexuality. out of order in other words just for. ourselves and not as this rightly. ordered beautiful gift that is unitive. and procreative then then we break down. then lust comes into the equation and. and chastity isn’t celibacy chastity. isn’t kill your sexual desire chastity. is rightly order your sexual desire let. sacrificial love be what leads you into. that into that marriage into that. relationship so that being said a couple. of things to keep in mind principles of. good dating ask God’s blessing the. beginning of a relationship.
Pray God I’m interested as person should. I should I talk to them. should I get to know them chances are. there’s no harm in getting to know them. but again getting to know him in a group. you don’t need to take him out to a. weird place in your car in the middle of. the night to get to know him. chances are it’s not going to end well. then we’re to enter with direction. towards discerning marriage if I were to. ask you to give me directions you would. have no clue on what directions to give. me because I have not told you where I. am going in order for you to give me. directions you’d have to know where I’m. going it’s the same thing with dating we. know that where we are going is marriage. so the directions become the morality we. know when to turn left and when to turn. right because you know our destination.
But only if we have our destination of. mine can we actually turn left and turn. right and know how we get to the. destination same with dating what should. you do and what shouldn’t you do in your. relationship keep marriage as the goal. holy sacrificial pure love gift of self. to each other an image of God and. reflective of that nature keep that as. your destination that’ll help guide you. in your decisions of dating and that. relationship involve the families and. friends great way to get to know each. other is hang out with their friends. hang out their family one you’re. probably not going to get hot and heavy. when their moms in the room just saying. say it’s just an easy easy check right. there you know but to you want to know. who someone really is watch them around. their family ladies you want to know.
What a guys really like see how he. treats his sister and mother because. that’s really who he is okay yeah that’s. fine. be accountable to others we talked about. this a little bit min session I’m sure. the ladies talked to it some degree but. but being accountable to others if. you’re if you’re kind of in this. relationship we’re starting to date I. don’t know maybe until your Minister. about it so they know they can ask you. hey how’s it going. you can’t I pray for y’all you guys want. to have a big party and go out together. be accountable to each other pace. yourselves are you spend time together. right now societies even if you’re like. datin so cool immediately like we have. to just nonstop I was gonna say pho. you don’t call anymore you don’t do this. I did this. you guys tax and snap and in store. whatever you like you do your things and.
Like here’s the thing that was like you. feel that you instantly have to be. always with this person in some way or. another and if god forbid there’s a. moment of separation then what did I do. wrong or they don’t like me or they. don’t and then Satan into the same with. all these fears and lies pace yourself. it’s okay to go at the pace of grace in. this relationship it’s healthy to have. separation healthy to have other. friendships it’s okay I give you. permission lastly always listen to the. Lord’s guidance just circle back to the. beginning constantly pray God is this. relationship for me am I am i leading. this person to heaven or are they taking. me away from you bring God into it all. right all that being said I get. encourage you to go that website and. check it out we have some questions here. we’re gonna do our best to UM fire.
Through some of them let me move this. these questions all came through I feel. like those chairs are really far back. can we move forward no no you’re good. you’re good. hey Katie real quick um like 10 second. bio you are married happily happily how. long you been married three years okay. three years you can clap for that second. arbitrary anniversary it’s the leather. anniversary and husband’s name Tommy. he’s watching right now happy hey Tommy. not all like turn around he’s on the. live stream he’s back in Louisiana would. be rad if he just creepy yeah he just. like posture hey you’re a goose with the. kid yeah all right so that be said we. got a few questions here um I’m gonna do. my best to read them out sift through. them and then we’ll answer them as we go. all right all right so a questionable. Katie you’re on this one um no it’s.
Pretty simple how do you know if you’re. in love so love is not a feeling love is. a value response to another person. because you see good within them that is. the definition from pope john paul ii. and love and responsibility when she. wrote when he was a cardinal Carol forty. what I highly recommend it. I’m sure my thesis in college on love. and how when we see good and another we. respond that good by making a gift of. ourself and so if you are in a. relationship you could be in a. friendship it could be a total stranger. on the side of the road and you see. value within that person and BT Dubbs. everybody is value so you always should. see value within that person we respond. now there are some people we respond to. and we desire more deeply to give of. ourselves to them I’ve met David’s wife. she’s a lovely woman we both write for.
Blessed as she is she’s a friend of mine. I don’t love David’s wife the same way. David loves his wife my gift of self to. Brittany is very different than David’s. I can still love her is when you’re in a. relationship when you’re dating somebody. and you begin to recognize there’s a. prompting within you to want to give of. yourself to sacrifice without. necessarily getting something in return. when you you recognize that their value. and their happiness and their their joy. is more important than your own. I knew that Tommy loved me because he. listened to me because when we’d have. conversations together and I’d like. mention something that I enjoyed or like. a favorite food or like a gift that. maybe I would want for a birthday or. something and he would then respond to. that I recognized that he’s paying. attention to the things I’m saying when.
You catch yourself paying attention to. the things that another person is saying. and then you want to give of yourself to. them that’s usually a pretty sure fire. indicator that you love them awesome. beautiful answer so this one I’ll take. on it’s probably little quick we’ll move. we’ll move through it fast as we can. this one says if the desire to be loved. is good and from God why do we pray to. be delivered from it in the prayer of. humility it’s good it’s a good question. if you ever prayed the prayer of. humility it’s a difficult prayer and. it’s just litany of Lord delivered me. from deliver me from deliver me from all. these different statements and there is. one deliver me from the desire to be. loved what it’s talking about in that. moment is the need to beep to earn love. from the people around you God made you.
For love it’s it’s it’s our human nature. to desire to be loved ultimately by God. and then by who the people that God. would placed in our lives such as a. spouse or something like that or maybe a. religious community or your parish. something like that. but where they’re at what I believe the. prayer of humility is referring to is. that need to perform so that you would. would approve of me so that you would. love me and I think we do this a lot in. relationships I just want him to tell me. that he loves me and so well I’ll do. this with him. because that’s what he says he wants. that’s what he says he needs and if we. can do that well then he’ll love me I. hope that makes sense anything else that. I’m perfect all right next one why do. guys break girls hearts you really want. to know I am gonna be real with you men.
For a second please a lot of you are. really insecure and you’re scared to. admit it and I say that to you why. aren’t any of the men clapping yeah use. I mean God made Adam and he thought to. himself I can do better so he made even. here we are so you’re welcome but I’m. just saying Eve took the fruit so enough. Adam didn’t protect her no really though. gentlemen here’s the thing I think what. happens is is this jockeying in culture. and I I work with young people a lot we. both do and it usually starts I think. like six seventh grade where you start. to care what people think about you in a. way that’s not always healthy and so. then when young men begin to pay. attention to girls if any of you’ve. watched stranger things season three you. recognize that this happens on full. display some quicker than others that.
What happens is I think what young men. want to do is prove themselves to their. peers because they think that that’s all. their guy friends want but here’s the. reality if every guy just assumes that. his friends are judging him but then in. reality all of them are scared with the. other things then just be real men and. talk about that there’s be real men and. stop trying to prove yourself to one. another and. be good gentlemen be good men who pay. attention and value now ladies I think. what happens with us is we’re obviously. very insecure we’re women and that’s. just kind of our mo sometimes but we. strain guys along and we look for. affirmation from men and we sometimes. toy with these boys hearts and like. here’s the reality your kids like I love. you I love you hold on hold on hang on. hang on I’m not hey gentlemen thank you.
For the affirmation men women we we. can’t we can’t take advantage of their. hearts and and and the same way we don’t. want a guy to break our heart and to. string us along and to use us and to. toss us out or to use us to to jockey. himself into a higher position of. friendship with his buddies because they. think he’s cooler we cannot use men to. satisfy the longings of our hearts to be. seen known and loved which is only. satisfied by Christ and so if we would. all treat one another as brothers and. sisters first brothers and sisters in. the Lord who were all striving for. heaven there’d be a lot less broken. hearts in this world and there’d be a. lot more people whose heart is being. held by Christ who never breaks our. heart and then we can all go to Jesus. and look for each other‘s hearts there. okay that’s my peace.
Awesome awesome it’s good all right this. next question here is um how do you know. that someone loves you for who you are. not who they want you to be I think the. question is do they love you now because. if they love you now then they love you. for who you are but if they’re asking. you to change it’s pretty clear thin but. they don’t love you for who you are now. love doesn’t come with an agenda love. doesn’t doesn’t swoop in and say I’m. gonna give you all this attention and. shower you with my love so that you can. change you become the person I want you. to be the person that I think you should. be that’s not love that’s use it’s. manipulation that’s distorted and. twisted but you know who does it a lot. Christians. we go into this idea and I’m not gonna. point out agenda I was gonna say maybe. the ladies but I’d be honest in my own.
Life that’s part of my story like we try. this whole missionary dating thing we. think I’m in love with Jesus and Jesus. means a lot for me that person isn’t in. love with him but man they’re really. cute I’m gonna go save them I’m gonna. date them and they’re gonna meet Jesus. and they’re gonna be saved and it’s. gonna be great we’re getting married and. live in a castle and all these things. don’t don’t. people are not projects right there. they’re not problems to solve there. people to love and if you can’t love. someone as they are then you are. certainly not ready to enter into a. relationship with them if you know that. you’re in a relationship and this person. is demanding things about you to change. so that they approve of you more then. you need to leave that relationship. because it’s not love it’s use it’s.
Manipulation cool all right. next question you don’t have to applaud. we have places to go we got time limit. people but I appreciate like the two or. three popcorn sounds I heard that’s fine. stop stop stop stop stop I’m not sure. how to spell this out oh I do sto P stop. all right Shh how do you know if you’re. ready for dating do you know yourself. and if you know yourself then you can. get to know another person I’m gonna. tell you my rule of thumb I don’t think. young people should date before senior. of high school and here’s why. some of you are like what I thought I. liked her unfollow I think high school. is a very volatile time for young people. because you’re discovering what you like. what you don’t like what you’re good at. what you’re not good at where you want. to go to school some day what you want.
To study how you want to live in this. world it’s a time to make friends Jason. efforts got a great line high school is. not the time to find your groom it’s the. time to find your bridesmaids it’s the. time to grow an authentic friendship. it’sit’s the opportunity and the chance. to meet people and and and we talked. about this in both the men’s and the. women’s session to dive into that. friendship it’s okay if your timeline of. like being attracted to the opposite sex. if your timeline of like wanting a. boyfriend if maybe there’s like I don’t. really want to be attached to another. right now that’s okay right this I think. suspect Ella vision like we placed this. pressure it’s okay if you’re not. interested in it right now it’s also. okay if you are but recognize that. sometimes we desire dating because we’re.
All looking for someone to be attached. to because we want somebody to text we. want somebody that that we can go to. things with we want somebody that like. they’re our person and so therefore like. we’re not alone and and if that’s where. your desire and the impetus comes from. that’s not healthy that and that’s not. that’s not rightly place and I think. senior year is really when you’ve kind. of maybe come into your own you know. maybe what’s coming next you’re maybe. prepared to get into those those more. intimate conversations and that. closeness and if you that happens before. senior year I just often I mean you’re. partially missing part of your brain you. don’t have a prefrontal cortex so I. think part of it is just like like a. physical thing of like you don’t. necessarily have that preparedness I’m. not trying to down you I’m just simply.
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Saying I think it’s okay to mature a. little bit before you launch into those. intimacy relationships cool awesome. I’m gonna try to fire through a few. quick ones here real quick this one says. how should I bring up religion with the. guy I’m talking to you. here’s the thing your religion should. everybody put away it’s like it’s. religion isn’t a Sunday thing it’s a you. thing it’s a relationship with Christ it. should affect every aspect of who we are. so therefore it should be readily on. display in any relationship be it in. some sort of romantic relationship or. with your family or with your teammates. don’t hide your religion Kay so if. that’s the question maybe I invite you. to to pray more how am i fearfully. hiding Who I am as a Christian or as a. Catholic in this relationship or any. relationship you know Jesus is an.
Amazing person and the more we get to. know him. the more we’re gonna want people to. understand how amazing he is back home. there’s a restaurant called Brook see. this is in California they sell gourmet. waffle sandwiches. they’ve got yeah like it’s God’s gift. like it’s like like melted s’mores and. peanut butters and marshmallow and it’s. delicious. and you know what after I had it I. called like three or four friends was. like you got to come with me and have. one of these it’s amazing you see when. we like something we’re ready to share. about something and so maybe the time is. we need to spend more time getting to. know Jesus and like him so we’re eager. and hungry to display him to the world. another quick question here real quick. is making out okay. maybe it’s not a quick question but Oh. usually when we phrase or ask these.
Kinds of questions I realize there is. sort of like maybe a mechanical nature. we’re looking for a line like like okay. okay okay okay not okay not okay right. that’s maybe the wrong way to look at a. relationship because really what we’re. asking is what is the most I can get. away with what is what is the greatest. use I can have before it gets too heavy. before it’s you know I’m gonna go to. hell or before it’s sin see that’s not. the right perspective of a relationship. a relationship is about love love wills. the good of the other so the real. question should be how far and how fast. can encourage this person to heaven and. if anything’s gonna keep you from that. then leave it out of your relationship. making out isn’t necessarily good or bad. depending on a certain circumstance but. I think the heart of that question is.
More what we need to be concerned about. how much can I use this person how much. pleasure can I get from him how aroused. can I get and then you know still. consider myself okay that’s not the. questions how can I love them. how can I sacrifice even my desires in. this moment for them Jesus says the. greatest love is to lay down your life. well then you know what die to yourself. that’s how you have a holy relationship. and you avoid these kind of pitfalls. these tricks okay. next question I only got a few seconds. here but we’ll do our best oh there’s. some heavy ones here there’s two I want. to end with in time I would say right. now if we didn’t get to your questions. this video but not just this one every. conference that happens over the summer. there’s like 20 of them or so has a. session going on about this same thing.
With various topics all of those at some. point in the near future we post an. online. Steubenville University and in front of. the the student go conferences have a. YouTube channel go and rewatch these. talks dive into other speakers talking. about it chances are a question is going. to be more appropriate for what you’re. thinking you’re gonna find the answer. there additionally look how good. resources talk to your youth minister. chastity calm life ting calm I’m Sur. student of a few. has some great information and resource. as well seek it out because it’s worth. it. last two things I want to kind of end on. is this question I’m not trying to throw. you a singer but we’ll start with you. is there really a true way to keep the. faith as a homosexual when I don’t want. to lose my identity or my faith we are. so much more than our sexuality amen.
And our brothers and sisters who. struggle with samesex attraction I’m. convinced that in a hundred and fifty. years when people look back at this time. of the church we are going to have a. string of saints who identified as. homosexual and chose to live lives of. greatness and chastity who chose to. embrace that cross and recognize that it. was an opportunity to grow closer to the. Lord. not because they sacrificed what the. LGBTQ agenda sometimes tells them that. they’re supposed to be but because they. recognize that they are more than who. they’re attracted to and that’s true of. all of us to those of you that struggle. with samesex attraction to those of you. that that identify in that way who feel. like you have to buy into what the world. tells you makes a person gay the right. kind of gay please have a conversation.
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With with one of the speakers please go. read father Mike’s book made for love. have a conversation with a trusted. priest a religious sister brother and. have an honest open look at what defines. identity and recognize that who we like. and who we want to sleep with and who. were attracted to is not what makes us. who we are but our identity in Jesus. Christ and it is a cross that people. carry and it’s not something that you. should be ashamed of we love you as a. Roman Catholic Church we love you we do. not condemn you. you are not dirty you are not broken you. are not an accident you are not a. mistake and we want you here and please. recognize that the Church’s teachings on. homosexuality are so much more than what. people say on Twitter is so much more. than what you might have heard from one. misguided person and please don’t leave.
Because you’re part of this body of. Christ and you belong to us absolutely. one small thought I would add to that is. is on recognizing that the call to. chastity the rightly ordering of our. sexuality is a universal call like just. because you get married doesn’t mean. like you know game on like it it doesn’t. mean you can destroy someone else. through the means of sex it means that. actually you you’re culpable to love. them and sacrifice and care for them in. a rightly ordered way sexuality is a. part of that so the call for chastity is. for every state of life every. inclination you or I may feel we’re. called to be chaste the church and Jesus. don’t call different people two. different forms a chaste. it’s chastity the rightly ordering or. sexuality in our circumstance will be. different but we’re all called to that.
Holiness and purity which is self. mastery that that idea of rightly. understanding and ordering integrating. our sexuality it’s a beautiful gift and. the more we lean into that actually. freer we are because we don’t have to be. a slave to every notion to every every. inclination every little moment or kind. of thought that would cross our head we. said no no I’m much bigger than this I’m. more than my my identity I’m more than. my attraction the identity a son or. daughter and I can live and move in that. and there’s freedom and joy in that last. thing I’m gonna close with it’s not. really about dating but one of the. questions that did come through was a. question regarding selfharm regarding. suicidal thoughts and I I just want to. say if you are in that place number one. you are loved and whatever you think is.
So big that you should do this to. yourself I promise you it is a drop of. sand and the ocean of mercy of Jesus’s. love for you and so bring his mercy into. it a couple of ways to bring his mercy. into it confession not because you’re. bad but because there’s gracyk important. to those lies that you’ve probably been. hearing for a while in your life number. two talk to your parents and your youth. minister an adult your parents and youth. ministers care about you they want the. good for you. you can trust the love that they have. for you get the help that you need go to. one of your leaders that you trust in. that way. let them guide you in how you should. handle that among your friends among. conversations in your peer groups in. your youth ministries run to Jesus he. loves you run to those he’s placed in. your life that give you guidance your.
Parents and your youth ministers your. priest let them lead you through this. nothing on earth is worth the cost of of. you harming yourself or contemplating. taking your own life you are far more. valuable Jesus bought and paid for your. life you are worth infinite infinity. you’re worth the life of Christ himself. don’t ever sell yourself short no matter. what lie or would damage you you maybe. think you carry in your life we’re. praying for you don’t don’t run to it. all right that being said we’re gonna. wrap this up. teens let’s close in prayer and then. we’ll ask you to look your chaperones. for guidance so maybe the Father Son. Holy Spirit amen. Jesus you thank you so much for the gift. of love the gift of our bodies of who we. are the gift of sexuality thanks for the. gift of marriage. Jesus please begin to heal our view of.