Today’s topic a very personal topic for. me dating tips for introverts and yes I. am an introvert and no I don’t just say. this because I want to go against the. grain and because I want to say no I’m. not like the other dating coaches who. are extroverts and who approach groups. of girls and we love night game no I’m. really an introvert most men who have. problems to meet women are introverts. you could say that it’s because. introverts are shyer or they’re more. insecure but I don’t think personally. from my own experience that this is the. number one mistake I think the number. one mistake that a lot of introverts. make is that they define themselves as. introverts you already put a handicap on. yourself and you’re like oh you’re the. introverted loser and oh I can’t get the. girl how I shouldn’t even try but we.
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Live in this world that values being. loud being attention seeking so much. that as an introvert it’s very easy to. get this feeling that if I’m not this. type of person I’m worthless or if I’m. not this type of guy I can’t get girls. which is of course a very negative and. selfdestructive mindset just because. you are not that type of person doesn’t. mean that you’re any yeah better or. worse than an extrovert and also just. because you like to be for yourself. doesn’t mean that you hate people it. doesn’t mean that you repelled by being. around people and a lot of gay guys or. believe how introverts they don’t like. being around people but that’s. completely wrong the main difference. between introversion and extraversion is. that introverts lose energy when they’re. around a lot of people and they charge. their batteries while they’re at home.
While they’re alone and for themselves. that’s how I am when I’m out with. friends and when I’m socializing and. even after approaching some girls. outside I need some time for myself to. reflect and to calm down forget about. all those stereotypes about introverts. of oh you have to be shy you’re insecure. you’re a weirdo know you and none of. that so please don’t use your. introversion as an excuse like oh no I’m. an introvert I can’t do that oh I’m an. introvert oh that’s not for me no no are. you extroverts yeah for you it’s easy. for me oh it’s so hard. by putting those labels on yourself you. make it hard for yourself you make it. way harder than it has. the next tip I want to give you is to. approach women in the environments where. you naturally feel comfortable and I. know this goes completely against the.
Advice of most pickup artists out there. say oh you have to go to the bars and to. clubs to get high quality women more on. that later but for now take me as an. example when I have a coaching client. and I invite oneon-one coaching so I. always offer day game and night game. because a lot of guys want to do both. but I always scream hallelujah when a. guy just wants to do teh game because I. can approach women in the night I can. approach women at bars at night clubs I. can pick them up I can take them home. the skill I learned but as an introvert. I don’t enjoy these environments I just. don’t for me going to a club is just. draining my energy it’s just I don’t. want it however if I go to parks to the. library to bookstores at train stations. in those environments where you can. approach women who are in a relaxed.
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Atmosphere who also may be a little bit. introverted okay train station is a. weird example but let’s focus on library. and book stores and parks where girls go. there to relax. those are my environments in those. environments my number close rate is. five times higher than an extroverted. environments because I feel more. comfortable she sees how comfortable I. am with the situation and in those. environments they are also the girls who. are naturally attracted to introverts. because as human beings we like people. who are like us the girls you meet in a. bookstore are way more likely to be. introverted girls who want an. introverted boyfriend than if you go to. a club and you have all kinds of party. girls so the tip that I want to give you. is really define your hunting ground. think about where do you feel the most.
Comfortable in those situations and yes. of course on your journey you should. also challenge yourself by going out in. clubs and impasse just so that you’ve. done it so that you get this skill down. that you can say okay I have this skill. now but in the grand picture in the big. picture you should focus on the areas. where you feel naturally good at or. let’s say naturally comfortable and. confident and then your success will go. through the roof and please don’t. believe this misleading pickup advice. that you have to be the life of the. party and that you have to give. everyone highfive and that you have to. socialize until your eyes are bleeding. it’s just even if you approach. groups for an example I mean a lot of. dating coaches give the advice when you. approach groups that you just talk to. everyone you’re like yeah yeah I’m.
Entertaining everyone and I’m over on. the life of the party I tried that it. didn’t work for me because it feels so. unnatural and I feel so uncomfortable. instead I go up to a group I ask the. group if it’s okay if I can talk for one. minute with the girl I really like of. course I introduce myself but then I. transitioned say okay can I talk to her. for a second is it okay and then I have. only a oneon-one conversation I’m not. the life of the party so I don’t force. myself to become the life of the party. that’s where I think where I most differ. from other dating coaches or pickup. artists and I think I always try to give. advice for you that’s helpful for you. individual problem so as an introvert. being the life of the party it’s just. useless it’s a waste of your energy it. makes you uncomfortable and you can be.
Way more effective and efficient if you. admit yes I’m an introvert and I can. play to my strengths one more word to. the party girls in the pickup community. and in the seduction community this is. believed that you’re only an amazing guy. if you can date oh those hot party girls. and clubs Andrew if you can date those. hot nine and tents then you’re the . then you’re the seducer whoo and I fell. into this trap yes I dated some party. girls in the past because like I said I. got this skill down I know how to. approach and pick up girls in clubs and. bars that’s why I also feel confident to. give you advice on this topic but I. don’t like it and the girls I pick up. there and the girls I dated there I. didn’t like them either. I believe this whole principle of yeah. if you can date some really hot party. girl then you’re the and then I had.
Her and I was like oh God can somebody. help me out there I don’t want this well. go away from it I mean those girls they. all have daddy issues they have drinking. problems they’re narcissistic and they. are a pain in the ass yes you could say. oh I can now show off with a skill to my. friends but again if you just have a. girlfriend to show often to show your. friends what kind of amazing guy you are. that’s again pure insecurity that’s your. ego screaming I need to be satisfied a. confident man dates the kind of women. that he really. and I didn’t like those girls so my. false belief was yeah I’m only create. seducer if I can attract this kind of. girl and maybe you have the same. destructive belief but really think. about it who do you really want as an. introvert you probably want to hang out. with introverted girls you who you have.
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Great conversations with who you can. cuddle and watch movies and enjoy a. great day at the beach and just relax. and maybe even go to bed early just like. me in my case you don’t want to be with. a girl who goes at 10 when you just want. to shut your eyes I want to relax and. read a book or like okay can’t we go out. now who party no it’s just a pain in the. ass and I figure that out the truth is. you’re way more happy with a girl who is. compatible with your personality then. with some kind of party girl which some. other dating coach says yeah you have to. date her you don’t have to do anything. please also in the same context don’t. pretend to be an extrovert don’t hate. yourself for being an introvert your. personality is fixed the research about. this is clear yes you can do some. exercises to feel more comfortable in.
Extroverted situations for example like. me with all the social freedom exercises. that I’ve done in the past and that I. now do with my oneon-one coaching. clients yes if you do social freedom. exercises the more you approach women. the more you practice the skill the more. comfortable you will be in those. situations where extroverts naturally. feel comfortable but that still doesn’t. change the fact that you have to. recharge your batteries when you’re. alone and that you will lose energy in. those situations just because you’re. comfortable there and you say okay I can. now do it doesn’t mean that your. personality will suddenly switch so. don’t try to pretend to be someone. you’re not. don’t scream around like a crazy monkey. when you want to be a silent snake okay. that was a weird metaphor but I think. you get the point just in this case the.
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Advice be yourself is actually quite. good because the more you try to be an. extroverted you’re not the more you will. actually repel the introverted girls who. would be naturally attracted to you and. who you are naturally attracted to. nevertheless it’s important that you. practice conversation skills I think one. reason why extroverts have it so much. easier with girls. is because they instinctively from a. young age practice their conversation. skills I mean if you’re the kind of. person who gains energy while being. around other people you automatically. practice being social you practice. talking you practice speaking but as an. introvert because you want to be alone. most of the time you just have this one. disadvantage that suits how it is that. you didn’t practice so much but hard. work beats talent you can still practice.
It and you have the one advantage over. extroverts that you can actually analyze. your situations extroverts do it in this. case naturally they are just social but. because you are learning it you can. analyze the situations and find out ok. what works what doesn’t work so that’s. why I still urge you to practice your. conversation skills extroverts like I. said have this one advantage they do it. naturally you have to put in the effort. the one thing where introverts really. excel is in listening extroverts are. extremely good at talking about. themselves and most of my extroverted. coaching clients I don’t want to sound. mean now and they would admit it is that. their biggest mistake or let’s say their. biggest weakness not mistake but their. biggest weakness is that they can never. shut up and then they don’t listen and.
They just talk about themselves and they. don’t get all the clues and all the. hints that the girl gives them to seduce. them so that’s basically where I have to. always adjust my coaching when I coached. introvert on extra route that’s why in. case you ever book a oneon-one coaching. with me I ask you what kind of. personality type you are because then I. can find out how I can help you the best. and the extroverts have the problem they. have to learn to calm down and to shut. up and to listen but as an introvert. your biggest advantage is that you can. shut up because women reveal how they. want you to seduce them you just have to. listen and you have to give them the. chance to actually talk to you and to. reveal everything and as an introvert I. know that you can do that so listen. carefully think about your next move and.
Then respond and if you want to find out. more about me my techniques for picking. up women and my advice on picking up. girls especially also if you an. introvert very important my book was. written for introverts and extroverts. but also a lot of the. vice in the book is specifically. designed for introverts because I just. know that most of my coaching clients. and myself are introverts and if you are. an introvert and you want to find out. more about rise of the Phoenix then you. can click on the link in the description. and before you do that please let me. know in the comments below which of the. seven tips that I shared with you today. was the most helpful for you let me know. hit the subscribe button and don’t. forget to smash the notification bell so. that you get notified whenever I release. a new video for you.