So, you’re searching YouTube looking for dating tips maybe researching dating coaches and there’s plenty of them that give some great advice. But I want to make sure I give you my seven best dating tips from a dating coach. My name is Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks your life and dating relationship expert, coach you name it, that’s what I do here to provide you with some dating advice today for men and women. And again, I’m going to be giving you the seven best dating tips from a dating coach. Now, before I begin as always be sure to like this video, share it and comment below, give me one of your best dating tips, all right.
Anything maybe that I won’t mention or even if I do mention it, what you liked from this list. Now again, dating can become a frustrating process for a lot of people. It can get exhausting, a lot of people are spinning their wheels trying to figure out how to make this thing work. And to be honest, even though I acknowledge that there are some good dating coaches and there are some good dating advice being told on YouTube. If we’re honest there are also some bad advice being given. And so, I want to give you what I felt is some healthy effective advice, that’s the key. Not tips and tricks, not games to play, healthy advice that will lead to healthier relationships and more successful experiences, all right.
So, let’s start off with number one, be yourself. Now, I know that sounds super cliché everybody says be yourself, you know. You’re your only copy I forgot what the quote says. Anyway, the point is yes, it may sound cliché but it’s extremely important for you to understand and embrace and here’s the reason why. So many people are dating with their representative trying to be something they’re not in order to catch their desired choice, trying to again, increase their chances in their eyes of receiving somebody. Now, don’t get me wrong there are some things that we should be improving about ourselves that will make us better candidates, that will increase our chances of getting who we desire or who is best for us because that should be the real goal.
However, you have to locate or understand the difference between enhancing yourself and being something you’re not. I do not want you to be something you’re not because now the pitfall is if you show them your representative and they fall in love with that or become attached to that because in reality it’s not really love in those situations. Then what happens is when your true self comes out they don’t want it anymore. They run, they start acting funny, they feel like they’ve been bamboozled or hoodwinked, you know. And now, we have battles going on, now you guys aren’t on the same page and everything falls apart.
So, you would have spent all those months, all that time, maybe even years trying to get them and keep them only to lose them because you were never true to who you were. Not to mention that after you get them you may come to the realization you don’t even want them. You might be like damn, I can’t keep up this facade or who I thought I wanted. That time or that moment has passed and I realize now they don’t fit my life. And so, rather than getting stuck because that’s what happens to a lot of people they get stuck, all right, because they fought so hard to get this, they invested so much into this individual, they become unhealthily attached to that individual.
And now, walking away becomes very difficult. So, to save yourself all the headache, to increase the chances of receiving who’s best for you because in being yourself, being your best self, you will then come across the person who likes that person. Who embraces that person, who wants to pour into the real you. And when you find that now you win, now you win. So, save yourself the struggle, save yourself the headache, be yourself. And if you don’t know what being yourself even means right now, well, then you got to find yourself. So, that’s a little bonus to this number one is make sure you find yourself, make sure you know who you are and love who you are and with that self love you will again increase the chances of receiving all that’s for you including an amazing partner an amazing relationship.
The number two tip for dating, all right, is do not waste your time. So, one of the reasons why so many people are exhausted with this dating process is because too many individuals are letting situations linger on way longer than they should, all right. Allowing people to remain in their lives that should have been gone a long time ago and all that’s doing is draining them and depleting them as well as causing more damage to them emotionally and mentally. Which now if you don’t heal from you will carry on to your next situation and it will set you up to end up with the wrong person. So, you’ve got to be really mindful of not wasting your time and learning how to cut things off very quickly.
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I always say get them in, get them out. Evaluate move on. If they’re not for you they’re not for you. If you see red flags address them if they’re not corrected, keep it moving. But do not try to keep the situation going because you’re feeling alone, because you just want to give yourself a chance, you don’t know if you’re going to have any better options. Fear of you know, starting all over and having to meet someone new. So many different possible reasons but one way or another, none of those reasons are good enough to keep this going when this is not the right fit, all right. And the quicker you can get them out of the way, the quicker you can be available to receive someone who is.
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And you have to understand that in dating sometimes it’s a numbers game. Sometimes it’s about listen, we have to be able to meet several people before we finally get to the one. But if we allow the wrong people to stick around too long we throw everything off. So, the better you get at cutting people off and again, not cutting people off like in a nasty negative rude way but simply recognizing okay, this isn’t it they’re not the one even when they are a great person. Sometimes they can be a great guy or a great woman but they’re not the right person for you. So, you got to understand that don’t try to force the issue.
Recognize this is not it, recognize we just don’t have that thing that it factored there whatever, all right. We’re not on the same page or they’re not willing to pour into your needs or vice versa and get them out the way. Do not waste your time when you are dating. Dating tip number three, all right, that you need to focus on is focus on the positive but be prepared for the negative. Here’s what I mean. Too many people are going into their dating experiences projecting negativity. They’re very guarded, they’re waiting for that next pin to drop, they’re waiting for that mistake to happen, they’re on guard with the red flags and not that you shouldn’t be aware of the red flags, but you’re just seeking them out.
You’re looking for something to be a problem or you’re putting in your head that this is not going to work out before you even gave it a chance to work out. Do not project negative onto your experiences, not to mention that when you do that you carry negative energy. And a lot of times it’s your negativity that’s pushing them away. It’s your negativity that’s setting this whole situation left. You got to realize that you are setting yourself up for failure when you keep thinking so negative and carry all that negative energy. It becomes a selffulfilling prophecy because that’s all you’re putting out into the world.
So, you’ve got to project positivity, you’ve got to come in thinking this could work out, this could be a great experience. Even if they’re not the one, I may learn something new, I may enjoy myself in the process and I’m going to focus on that. I’m going to focus on doing those things because that will then increase your positive energy, increase the chances of a positive outcome, all right. As well as allow you to see more clearly if this is really it or not. It is really hard to properly evaluate and see things for what they are when you’re looking through broken glasses. And to carry that negativity to project that negativity onto the situation, you’re essentially looking through broken glasses because you’re broken from the inside.
And that’s not to insult you that’s just a reality of the emotional and mental damage you’ve gone through in life from previous experiences or childhood so on and so forth. So, you’ve got to get to a positive healthier place and that will allow you to see things much more clearly, all right. But like I said, I want you to project the positive and think positive but I want you to be prepared for the negative. And what I mean by that is this. We have to understand that yes, it may not work out. Yes, they may not be the one for us and that’s perfectly fine. If we understand that coming in rather than just being focused on this is got to work or I don’t know what I’m going to do then we can handle the disappointment when it comes or it won’t even be a huge disappointment.
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It’ll just be a fact of life, hey, you know what? I met a great person or I met someone it didn’t work, I’m moving on, it’s all good. And that way you don’t carry any negativity from that situation on to the next. So, it’s important that yes, we have to understand that things won’t always go the way that we want them to, all right. And that yes, people may do some foolish, ridiculous, nonsense when we’re trying to date them. That may happen but we don’t need to internalize it, we don’t need to dwell on it, we just need to accept it for what it is, recognize enough for us and keep it moving. So, project the positive, but yes, be prepared for the negative.
Dating tip number four. And before I give you that tip let me just tell you if you want to or you should join my free text community. I left the link below in the description and in the comment section as well I’m flashing it on the screen right now for you to see. Join the free community, you get inspirational text and motivation. People are loving it and enjoying it you’ll also get special offers and again, it’s free. So, it costs you nothing and there’s plenty of benefits from it. So, join the free text community today. But now, back to dating tip number four from a dating coach. Make sure you have healed, all right.
So, if you notice I kind of alluded to it in the other tips. We have to make sure that we are not carrying past baggage and past trauma into new situations. And for a lot of people their If not most people, if not damn near all people, their dating struggles stem from a lack of healing. And that lack of healing blinds you from seeing what you need to see. It sets you up to become unhealthily attached to the wrong individuals. Unhealthy attached to any individual is a problem, all right. But either way, it causes havoc in your life. And again, as I’ve said many times before it is more than likely going to set you up to be with the wrong person.
So, the best thing for you to do for yourself is before you even try to jump back into dating and if you’re in it right now maybe take a step back and focus on healing first. And understand that healing is not just from past romantic relationships. It’s from all the hurt in your life. Mother, father, siblings, whoever hurts you, you’ve got to heal from it. And when you flush that negative energy out of your system, it will help you find your true self. It will help you love yourself more, it will help you better evaluate people when you meet them, it will help you stay away from toxic relationships, it will help you embrace the love that’s truly for you.
So, be sure to heal and you know what? I wasn’t going to mention it but I got to. Go get the book Love After Heartbreak. I’ll also put that link in the description. It is the book that will give you the steps to healing, all right. Check it out very, very beneficial, so many people are gaining great things from it, all right. So, you need to heal if you want to have better dating experiences and ultimately an amazing relationship. So, number five on the list of dating tips from a dating coach, all right, is do not dwell in disappointment. Now, I kind of mentioned it earlier but let me shed a little bit more light on this.
Again, part of the problem or part of the struggle people face is that they go through a disappointing situation in their dating process and they dwell in that disappointment. And they stay in that negative place, all right. And so, it’s understandable that you know, the hurt is going to bring you down and you’re feeling some kind of way and you don’t feel like putting yourself back out there. But the problem is dwelling there is blocking you from actually experiencing something successful. The reality is that love can come at any time when you least expect it. But if you’re busy dwelling in disappointment, holding on to hurt, holding on to your past, you’re not going to be available to receive it.
Hell, even if you meet that love because you’re still dwelling in the disappointment, you won’t be able to embrace that love. You may reject it. There have been plenty of people who came across that person but they were not emotionally ready to handle it. So, you don’t want to set yourself up for failure by allowing yourself to dwell in disappointment or to get discouraged. Again, we have to understand that there’s going to be wins and losses, there’s going to be good experiences and there may be some bad experiences, but it’s all part of the process. We got to take what we can learn, we got to enjoy the moments that we can, but we got to keep moving forward.
And as long as you keep moving forward, you stay positive, you make sure you heal, you learn how to not waste your time I’m just running down some of these earlier tips, you will set yourself up for success. So, be mindful of that do not dwell. Give yourself a short period of grieving so to speak if you want. I have a rule of no more than three days, all right. I’ll go through my process And I’m saying that’s just in general like, not necessarily dating but anything in life that hurts me, disappoints me, whatever the case may be, the maximum amount of days that I’ll let myself grieve so to speak, is three days.
But then I go through the process of kind of healing and flushing things out within that so that by day four I’m ready to go and get back on track, all right. Now, for some of you it might be quicker than that especially depending on how impactful the situation was but one way or another do not let the dwelling linger on. You got to get back on the horse and ride and make things happen. So, do not dwell in disappointment. The number six dating tip for you to be mindful of is self reflect and keep improving. So, again, one of the mistakes that we’re making in dating is that we’re not learning any lessons.
Like, we’re literally going on these dates, we have Whether it be a good experience or a bad experience. But we’re not taking kind of a mental note in the sense of okay, what could I do better? What could be adjusted? Maybe, where did I go wrong? Yes, be willing to look at yourself in the mirror and hold yourself accountable for something that you could have improved or handled differently. Doesn’t mean beat yourself up. Please do not beat yourself up because we all make mistakes, we’re going to get some things right, we’re going to get some things wrong. But you want to learn in a way that strengthens you and makes you a better person because again, you can use this dating process as a way to sharpen your skills, so to speak.
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As a way to really hone your skills so that when you get to the right one you’re going to be even more on point. And when you take that approach you’re able to enjoy the process more, you’re able to go with the flow more, not in the I don’t know where I’m headed but in a way of I can accept the ups and downs, I can accept that sometimes it’s going to go the way I want and sometimes it won’t. But one way or another, I’m going to learn from this and by learning, I’m going to become better for this and I’m going to implement these things that I’ve learned into my new experiences. I’m going to learn how to better communicate, I’m going to learn how to get more in tune with someone.
I’m going to learn how to better address the red flags. I’m going to become more comfortable in expressing myself. Do you see where I’m going with this? These are things that people tend to not learn no matter how many times it’s failed them in their experiences. Because they’re too busy focused on the failure or the disappointment and not on the lesson to be learned. So, continue to selfreflect in a way that you can make yourself better, be open to correction, be open to selfimprovement and when you do that, you will set yourself up for greater success. And then the last tip number seven on dating tips from a dating coach, the best dating tips from a dating coach is focus on connection.
Listen, if you’ve heard or watched any of my previous videos or been to my shows or read any of my books, you know I am huge on connection. Now, I won’t get too deep into breaking down connection today. But I will say that look at connection as your spirit recognizing its match. It is a deep, spiritual experience that many have experienced in their life, some of you may not have yet, but I’m confidently saying you more than likely will at some point. It is like no other it separates this individual from all the other people you dealt with. And it’s more than just having chemistry, it’s more than just feeling like you’re compatible, it’s more than just everything looks good on the surface.
It goes so much deeper than that. And that connection is what we need to strengthen and hold our relationships together. Many relationships are failing because they do not have connection. People are getting caught up on the initial hype and again, how that person’s resume looks and also, the fantasy they’re projecting or what they want to believe this relationship can be or who this person can be but not the reality in who this person is and what this relationship is showing you right now. But connection is something that goes so much deeper because we cannot create a connection nor can we destroy it.
It’s either there or it’s not. And when you experience it again, it hits you like nothing else has ever hit you. So, focus on finding the person you have a connection with because with that individual everything else can work out. Everything else can be worked through, all right, because you guys see each other in the way that others don’t. You guys will be able to get on the same page better than you can with other individuals. And so again, I know this topic needs a lot more explanation but I’m just going to plant this seed in you if you haven’t heard about it yet. And for those who have, you know what I’m talking about, let’s embrace it because connection is the key.