Dating A Person With Herpes

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Hello everyone welcome back to my. channel Loreen HD I am here with Devin. the mute men and in previous episode and. my folder where aunt Eckler. Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce. oh this one actually you so sorry. Oh shirt so I’m Michael Miller and my. men’s life coach as well as a actor. singer author do all kinds of fun stuff. really passionate about musical theater. too so in the previous episode with. follows Devin throughout her you know. pre romance pretty couple state of mind. disclosure and now you know being. engaged I wanna hear a little more about. the couple the story how did you guys. meet have romance started you know at. what point was her he’s a part of the. story etc etc so we met doing a musical. theater community theater we were doing. a production of West Side Story and. there were two different casts and we.

Play the same characters so we both. played a rack as Jenna how’d you guys. been in that situation before where. you’re dating someone are you seeing. someone that you like and you want to. move further and you have to disclose. your herpes and for you you’re dating. someone and they disclose to you that. they have herpes yes so I disclosed once. before. at that time and the person I was. disclosing wasn’t the right person yeah. so so I can’t have that happen one other. time actually that I had a woman. disclosed to me and it was an. interesting experience because I would. say as you said sometimes I kind of like. soccer as the disease but it really just. for me I was like no because there. wasn’t enough of a connection for me to. actually like take that risk in my mind. for me with definite was it was a. nobrainer it was an immediate like he.

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Told me and she was very nervous telling. me but it’s immediately when she. descended it didn’t even faze me what. did you feel like what are you in your. head there was something something along. those lines cuz she was it was like the. most dramatic thing I should pause and I. could somebody to tell you the G cry I. have no idea what I what like yeah it. just out of nowhere yeah. yeah huge amount of anxiety and stress. to my Heather was like oh she doesn’t. like me anymore so how did you guys. manage intimacy before like after your. Devin disclosed they just said okay you. know I still want to date you. you mentioned in previous episode that. you guys were consistently using condoms. for how long was that the option and how. did you guys sort of transition into. different from my point of view that was. the option until it became kind of clear.

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That that this was more of a life. partnership than just a dating situation. and at that transition point it was okay. this is something that we want to be. using the rest of our life or do we. actually want to try a different option. or not use condoms and inherent risk in. doing so yeah so we were well aware of. what was of the choices we were making. in and the risk that I was putting yeah. were you on suppressive therapy I. actually only had the initial okay so. when I spoke to my doctor about it he. said that. so since then things have changed well. but yeah so sorry I subtracted herpes. also so there’s a mentality that I had. about it going into it then we got it. then that was sex oral change after I. got it because then we went to sex. therapy and can we actually talk to an. expert and then made a decision about.

Oral we’re actually like holding back on. that and some. like service huge gap sexual. relationship when you say sex therapist. do you mean like doctor that they. specialize in like st ives i can tell. you this segment it’s not safe or. essentially sex therapist is more like. the relationship emotional part of sex. yeah also has and the expertise in STDs. and it was it was just to sort out the. initial emotions and like what we were. going through and you know like i work. with with the coach and she works with. coaches and therapists and so we use. outside support it’s not like a thing. that we did once and then it’s just like. alright we’re good yeah there’s actually. an ongoing conversation of growth and. healing super interesting yeah I wish we. had done that sooner I wish we had gunk. on the this therapist sooner but then.

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You know I experienced a lot of shame. around sex or talking about sexing and. and so it’s been a really beautiful like. having herpes in my life because I. actually talk about it now and then like. moving through some of this stuff like. we had all kinds of questions yeah that. we can answer and you’re looking online. for the answers and it’s just like a. mess like how how are you supposed to. decipher on this and and so talking. to hurt just like straighten so many. things out and like one conversation. together yeah the whole experience has. been like strengthening for the. relationship absolutely and my. experience of sex prior prior to this. relationship is that you try to talk. about it but you actually don’t go that. deep yeah and and in my experience with. people in general is they don’t throw. that deep in the end of the conversation.

About sex so I think it’s something that. everyone should do and remove the shame. associated with it yeah and our fears. about it for other viewers who either. have been in your situation and are. experiencing some kind of like. resistance to you know they’re raised. the current situation or people were. considering being in a situation where. you know they’re in love with someone. who has herpes and this is the risk and. how how would you guide them and what. kind of advice from your own experience. with you. I would probably say a lot of very open. and total communication with your. partner and then also seeking someone. else to talk to whether it be a. therapist or a friend or someone where. you can just work through all of your. concerns and other perspectives so if. it’s for a couple where it’s been. transmitted from someone to to someone.

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Else. definitely seeking an outside support. that is a professional not just a friend. to have that intimate vulnerable. conversation that needs to be had and. just have like there’s a lot of emotion. that happens in that so I’m having like. this safe space with somebody that. handles that on a regular basis super. important yeah super normal one other. thing that we’re doing right now that I. know we’re both pretty adamant about is. actually sharing it so like not hiding. it like. and anytime that you’re you have to like. keep something hidden in the closet like. you’re you’re not going to be free yeah. you gotta free yourself for us as a. couple this is like the biggest thing. that we’ve done together to share it so. this is liberating you guys like I don’t. need to say what is your advice biggest. advice three things I guess.

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