Dating A Jewish

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Dating A Jewish learning experience for sure

Hi friends and welcome back to my channel in  today’s video we are going deep deep no shallow  . water today guys I’m going to introduce  you to my partner Andy who’s not Jewish  . and we are going to spill the tea about what  it’s like to be in this kind of relationship  . but first make sure you go ahead and hit  that subscribe button if you haven’t already  . I’m really trying to reach my first goal  of 10 000 subscribers so every subbie helps  . and before we begin i’m gonna drop a big fat  disclaimer right here this video is not intended  . to encourage anyone to go out and date a nonjew  or a jew i’m simply sharing my experience because  . i’m inspired to share my truth and hopefully  people who are in a similar situation can feel  . a little more understood and can relate in order  for you to understand the sensitivity of this.

Subject and the gravity i am going to ask you to  watch this video with me for context everybody  . wants to know what’s wrong with marrying a nonjew  who’s a fine person a non jew is a fine person?. i’m not we’re not we’re  not saying why marry jewish  . yeah we’re not saying that the nonjew can’t  be a fine person well they won’t know why they  . can’t marry them yeah but they shouldn’t  marry them yeah but that’s not the reason  . and if you say but they have a question because  they think that you’re not allowed to marry  . a non jew because they’re not a fine person so  therefore if they are a fine person should be  . a permitted ..One cannot marry a nonjew  because the jewish people are the chosen nation  . we are uh very proud of the fact that god  chose us to be his holy nation was very special.

Sometimes nonjews would hear that oh they’re  very very arrogant the jews think that they’re  . the chosen nation well being the chosen nation  brings along with a lot of responsibility with it  . and i don’t think a lot of many nonjews  would want to be jewish if they don’t have  . to go through programs and the holocaust and  the inquisition it also it’s a package deal  . because if we don’t act like god wants us to  act then we have to suffer the consequences  . but we’re the chosen nation and we have a great  responsibility and we’re very the holy nation and  . uh therefore every jewish person who’s born has  a special holiness to him because chosen by god  . from the time of abraham god chose us so  we have to keep our holiness and keep our  . jewishness and not to intermarry and lose  it therefore we cannot intermarry because.

We are marrying out of the chosen people ranks  that we that we are and uh by doing that we  . are taking away our holiness and we’re taking it  closest to god and therefore we cannot intermarry  . a person intermarries he’s is destroying his  future children because they will not be jewish  . of course it depends f the woman is jewish or  the man’ depends on who what the intermarriages  . so plain and simple intermarriage is ruining the  jewish nation i shared this video because i want  . you to understand that in the jewish world one  of the worst things you can do is marry a nonjew  . it’s up there in terms of how bad you can sin  i was raised with a very strong sense of other  . i was told things like jews are the chosen  nation jews were chosen by god and jews have  . a responsibility to be better than everybody else  anyone who wasn’t a jew was called a GOY which.

Means gentile did you know that there’s a  prayer that jews recite every day that says  . ‘thank you god for not making me a gentile’ so  you can imagine that when i left this was still  . very deeply ingrained in me in fact many otd  people or nonreligious jews will still not  . marry a nonjew this is either a result of years  of programming or it’s because they don’t want to  . shake the already unstable relationship that they  have with their family many many orthodox jews  . and especially hasidic jews will not acknowledge  a nonjewish partner of their children and  . definitely not the grandchildren that are born  out of that relationship so effectively if you’re  . otd and you already have a rocky relationship with  your parents because you don’t adhere to the rules  . the last thing you’re going to want to do is  marry a non jew because that is essentially.

Social suicide it will be the straw that breaks  the camel’s back when i first left the community  . i dated mostly jews but i did experiment with  dating nonjews but this came with a hefty dose  . of selfinflicted shame i was convinced that i  was a bad person because i was doing a bad thing  . what i soon realized is that i needed to unlearn  this idea that jews are better than everybody else  . i needed to take off those glasses and just see  people for what they are i’ve since learned to  . simply see people for who they are which is human  beings when i meet someone i view them based on  . their character and their personality and not  on their religion or their ethnicity or their  . affiliation with any cultural group i met my  partner andy two years ago when i was traveling  . solo in oaxaca mexico he was traveling solo as  well we met at a hostel and we’ve been together.

Ever since we’ve traveled to places like england  turkey the united states guatemala and now we’re  . living in mexico but this video is less about  our beautiful story and more about the inner  . workings of what a relationship between a jew  and a nonjew actually looks like here’s what  . i like about this relationship aka what i like  about dating a nonjew this relationship isn’t  . built on the fact that i’m otd or that i’m jewish  we are two individuals with different stories  . that are very interested in learning about each  other’s past while building a really good future  . and he didn’t know much about judaism let alone  hasidic judaism when he first met me it’s been a  . learning experience for sure but he’s now learned  yiddish words he’s participated in holidays with  . me culturally and he’s taken an interest in all  things judaism i love being able to share my.

Judaism with him when we first met and we had  our first date he invited me to his apartment  . in mexico for lunch he played omar adam which is  an israeli singer from the balcony so that i can  . find his apartment because it wasn’t marked and i  thought that was so sweet if you meet someone who  . has an interest in you they will make an effort  to take an interest in all things that are you  . in the past when i’ve dated ex hasidic jews or  otd’s i found that sometimes keyword sometimes  . the bond was a trauma bond the pain point the  fact that we’ve both been through the same thing  . was the reason why we got together and so because  you already know the other person’s story there is  . no need to um kind of explore or unpack or share  that side of yourself because the other person  . just already knows everything for me i enjoy that  part of relationship getting to know each other.

And learning about each other‘s backgrounds  and cultures etc don’t get me wrong i stan  . otd couples i met some incredible ones who have  great connections some otd people don’t want to  . have to explain right sometimes it’s nice to walk  into a room with other otd people and they just  . understand you you don’t have to share your  story from scratch you don’t have to tell them  . about everything that you’ve been through they  already just know some people find comfort in that  . but for me personally i prefer the getting to know  each other exploring your partner and sharing all  . kinds of new and different things about yourself  with the person that you’re with so that’s a  . personal choice one isn’t better than the other  i’m simply just outlining why i find dating a non  . jew refreshing a very popular reason as to why  jews refrain from dating nonjews is that even.

Dating A Jewish nonjew  because the jewish people

Though maybe now they don’t mind they worry that  down the line they’re going to change their mind  . and want to start practicing judaism again and  by then they’ll be stuck with a nonreligious uh  . sorry a nonjewish partner or non-jewish children  and that may cause some issues down the line  . i simply don’t see it that way or care to be  honest however being that according to jewish  . law the judaism goes by the mother i know that  if in the event that i decide to practice again  . my children will have that opportunity to  choose if they want to identify with it or not  . but being honest i don’t really see that happening  but then again i can’t predict the future so  . now to make this video interesting you’ve heard  my end of things let’s hear it from another  . perspective i’m going to ask my partner andy  to join me and he’s going to answer some of the.

Questions that you guys asked me on my instagram  survey and i’ve tried to bunch them all together  . so that everyone gets an answer but if i couldn’t  answer your question i do apologize i didn’t want  . this video to be ages long i wanted to touch on  the main points that people seem to want to know  . so let’s get into it as promised andy is here  joining us for this video so that we can get  . an opinion of the other side to see how nonjews  feel about dating jews okay first question have  . you met many jews before me and what is it like  dating a jew or more specifically what is it like  . dating an exhasidic jew i would say i haven’t  really met hardly any jews before maybe because  . it just wasn’t really in my kind of frame of  reference to even think about that um to kind of  . be working out if someone is jewish or not i think  i i do that more now which is quite funny yeah so.

What is it like it is has been quite exotic  it’s been pretty interesting i’ve learned a lot  . that i didn’t know before there’s obviously some  specifically related to being sort of ex chasidish. that’s so good the second time yeah i’ll see  this you can keep it right yeah you could keep  . it i’ve kind of had probably a bit more of  a broader experience of different sort of  . countries that i’ve been in relationships  with with girls and so that’s probably given  . me a bit more of a more rounded kind of view or  experience i’ve traveled quite a lot i think so um  . that kind of stuff excites me rather than is i  see it as a barrier really um kind of digging into  . that i think i prefer to celebrate the the kind  of similarities rather than the differences of our  . backgrounds obviously i’m english pretty english  as it goes so very english yes but he’s like all.

Generation english like 100 percent baby okay uh  so yeah i think that it’s definitely been very  . interesting for me exotic for sure and sometimes  a little bit challenging when sarah doesn’t always  . get the kind of cultural references that i’m used  to in england but you would have that in someone  . who’s american i think anyway so it’s a little  bit more pronounced in terms of not always knowing  . certain singers uh we kind of make it a bit fun  which is kind of like all right it’s nice to see  . someone experience something that you’ve loved  for the first time yeah like a matrix exactly  . exactly what i was thinking i was thinking of like  marvin gaye or yeah beautiful soul singer matrix  . yeah so i think that generally speaking is it’s  yeah sure it’s different but not really no okay.

Okay next question for andy what are some  differences between dating enough a jew now  . and your previous dating experience with nonjews  are there any differences that stand out to you  . yeah so i’ve i mean i’ve dated um from a  bunch of different uh countries really so  . i think if i had only dated english women like say  when i was when i was younger then i think that  . the difference would have been really marked and  probably quite challenging uh but i would say that  . given i’ve kind of have a bit of experience of  being with with different people in that respect  . then it doesn’t really come up that much for me  i just kind of see it as something that’s like  . kind of fun really more than more than challenging  yeah so you find learning about jewish culture fun  . like the songs and the slang and the yiddish words  and meeting my jewish friends you enjoy that yeah.

I mean i’ve had some i’ve had some interesting  times with a few of your a few of your friends  . for sure um i think it’s quite it’s been quite  a fun experience yeah and i’ve had some cracking  . cracking dinners on shabbos so yeah yeah nice  it’s been cool yeah okay question number three can  . you think of a time in the last two years that my  being jewish impacted our relationship negatively  . so many people were like yeah in the good times  it won’t be a problem but when you’re fighting or  . when you have problems the jewish culture thing  will definitely be an issue can you think of a  . single time uh no not really i think that um  i think that you are a very good communicator  . i’m not sure if that’s related to you being jewish  or not i know that you guys like to chat but um  . yeah but i don’t think that it’s really come up  okay so let me let me rephrase the question then.

Has my being otd so ex hasidic ever affected  our relationship in the last two years has it  . ever affected our relationship negatively  does that change that i would say that  . don’t really like the word negatively  i would say that it’s perhaps  . given us challenges okay um and i don’t  necessarily think it’s specifically related to  . otd but maybe a symptom of otd in terms of losing  that connection from your family i think that um  . obviously that’s like a pretty fundamental  trauma for anyone to go through and i think that. we’ve obviously had some challenges in terms of  kind of addressing that trauma and kind of in  . ways that kind of for me to understand whether  i’ve triggered you or not or whether something  . is triggering i’m not always haven’t always  been sensitive to that in the early stages.

But i think that i am a lot more  so now maybe i’m not but there is  . um yeah i mean there’s that there’s that  challenge of how you kind of differentiate between  . someone who’s otd and has left a family that  maybe still is in contact and someone who has  . shut them off completely i think they’re very very  different scenarios um and obviously it’s very  . nuanced in terms of a topic and pretty fiery uh i  think based on some of your some of your comments  . on youtube uh yeah okay final question but most  popular one so many people said this in one form  . or another so how do you think you would react if  down the line i decided to practice judaism again  . and or if we had children if they decided to how  would that impact our relationship from your end  . well i don’t think it would happen that’s right  but i don’t think it would be a problem if it did.

I think some aspects of judaism are very very nice  i really like the emphasis on family and community  . i suppose one potential stumbling block would be  diet and food obviously there’s certain rules um  . i’d probably be quite happy to eat kosher meat  but it’s probably kosher food it’s just that  . when i probably am feeling a bit lazy or if i  have a day i want to like binge on oreos  . are they kosher i think you could find kosher  oreos yeah all right kushty koreos then um there  . might be some issues there basically like mixing  milk with meat right i don’t know if that counts  . for like almond milk or oat milk no it doesn’t  it’s just dairy oh uh i’m christian it’s not  . good yeah i mean it sounds like it’s absolutely  fine then yeah okay let’s bring on the kids  . raising a couple of little jews uh i mean i’m  kidding it’s probably not gonna happen yeah but.

I you know i’m a fan of certain principles that  religion has for sure not just you know limited  . to judaism how would you feel about like prayer  well so there’s there’s a lot to be said about  . prayer i think it can be incredibly um helpful for  people i think it can be very relaxing it could  . be nice to know that someone’s got you back and  then they’re looking after you so i think there’s  . there’s a lot to be said for prayer even if you  looked at it as quiet contemplation or meditation  . for 10 minutes a day to be thankful to practice  gratitude these are all like wonderful things  . to incorporate in your life in general that will  make you feel better and appreciate life which is  . only a good thing in my mind sounds like you  want to be more jewish than me yea mazal tov. well thank you for coming on i think people will  be really happy to hear what you have to say like.

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