Daddy’ s Rules For Dating

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Daddy' s Rules For Dating homes are better

Even as my child has been developing I. have been developing also with her as. she’s progressing in life I’m. progressing life and as she’s getting. closer to the the part of her future. where she makes more decisions does. things outside of my controlling hands. I’m planning more i’m preparing more. safety measures and little things i can. put in place to to guard her and i. presented a list that i was working on. two or three years ago for her dating. years i still have I still have about 20. more years to work on this list so I’m. not in any hurry but I have been working. expanding my my daddy’s rules for dating. for Hannah and every young man will will. get a copy of this and I probably also. you know sit down physically and declare. these things into his life because I. want him to understand how things works.

With my daughter so I’ve expanded this. now to 10 rules concerning dating my. daughter rule number one if you pull. into my driveway and honk you better be. delivering a package because you sure. aren’t picking anything else up rule. number two you do not touch my daughter. in front of me you may glance at her as. long as you do not peer it anything. below her neck if you cannot keep your. hands or eyes off my daughter’s body I. will remove them I can help you with. this rule number 3 i’m aware that it is. considerable considered fashionable for. boys your age to wear their trousers so. loosely that they appear to be falling. off their hips please do not take this. as an insult but you and all your. friends are idiots but still I want to. be fair and open minded about this issue. so I propose this compromise you may.

Come to the door with your underwear. showing in your pants 10 sizes too big. and i will not object however in order. to ensure that your clothes do not come. off during the course of your date with. my daughter i will take my electric nail. gun and fasten your trousers securely in. place to your waist. rule number 4 i’m sure you’ve been told. that in today’s world sex without some. kind of barrier method can kill you let. me elaborate when it comes to sex and my. daughter i am the barrier and i will. kill you and i’m hoping some of your. daddies are saying those are good i’m. going to use those rule number five it. is usually understood that in order for. us to get to know each other we should. talk about sports politics and other. issues of the day please do not do this. the only information I require from you.

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Is an indication of when you expect to. have my daughter safely back up my house. and the only word I need to hear from. you on this subject is early rule number. six I have no doubt that you were. popular fellow with many opportunities. to date other girls this is fine with me. as long as it’s okay with my daughter. otherwise once you’ve gone out with my. little girl you will continue today no. one but her until she is finished with. you if you make her cry I will make you. cry rule number seven as you stand in my. front hallway waiting for my daughter to. appear and more than an hour goes by do. not sigh and start fidgeting my daughter. is putting on her makeup a process that. takes longer than painting the Golden. Gate Bridge if you wanted to be on time. for the movie you shouldn’t be dating my. daughter instead of just standing there.

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Why don’t you do something useful like. go mow my lawn rule number eight the. following places are not appropriate for. dates with my daughter places whether. our beds sofas or anything softer than a. wooden stool places where there is. darkness places where there’s dancing. holding hands our happiness of any kind. places where the ambient temperatures. are warm enough to introduce my daughter. to wearing shorts tank tops middrift. tshirts or anything other than overalls. a sweater or a goose down parka zip to. her throat movies with strong romantic. or sexual themes are not art to be. avoided movies that feature chainsaws. are okay hockey games are okay old folks. homes are better. rule number nine do not lie to me I may. appear to be a balding middleaged in. what it has been but on issues related. to my daughter I’m the allknowing.

Merciless god of your universe if I ask. you where you’re going and with whom you. have one chance to tell me the truth the. whole truth and nothing but the truth I. have a shotgun a shovel and five acres. behind my house if you lie rule number. ten is as far as I’ve gotten so far be. afraid be very afraid it takes very. little for me to mistake the sound of. your car in the driveway as a chopper. coming in over a rice paddy in Hanoi. when my agent orange starts acting up. the voices in my head tell me to clean. the guns while I wait for you to bring. my daughter into the house as soon as. you pull into the driveway exit the car. with both hands in plain sight speak the. perimeter password announced in a clear. voice that you brought my daughter home. safely and early and return to your car. there’s no need for you to come inside.

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