Okay so I understand dating is hard for. everyone but I can’t even get a guy to. look at me half the time let alone take. me on a date. like is there something wrong with me I. just don’t understand what the big. problem is huh. I got cystic fibrosis. see I’ve got cystic fibrosis hello sorry. I hope that didn’t scare you too much. but it is still Halloween week right. welcome to staying salty my name is. Chelsea and this week we’re talking. about dating and CF so I think right I. want to start with this is simply by. saying dating sucks dating is hard. dating is emotionally exhausting and. tiring whether you have CF or not. obviously CF makes it a little bit. harder and with my video I want to. simply tell you my path and my story. with dating and CF because this is a. topic that hits a little bit closer to. home than a lot of other ones because I.
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Have gone through a very personal mental. transition when it comes to my outlook. on dating and CF and then I want to give. you kind of my takeaways and advice on. how to date and how to successfully date. even with CF and hopefully you can. relate to where I am where I was and. feel better about your situation or. yourself at the end of the video so to. start things off I essentially have been. dating since I was 15 similar to my life. I never let CF define who I am so that. also spilled over into my relationships. it was never me the other person and CF. in this triangle of a relationship it. was always me and that other person with. CF as a side factor. I never let it control my relationships. or dictate anything about me and that. other person it wasn’t actually until I. was older where CS and dating even was.
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An issue in my mind and that was. strictly my own personal mind because it. was my own inability to let people in. and be vulnerable and date from my own. aspect that kind of stemmed from family. issues that I had growing up that caused. some trust issues and definitely were. things that I never really even noticed. until I started dating you know beyond. high school where hey I think you’re. cute we should date when it became more. serious dating and more serious topics. being talked about that was when I. started thinking about it in college I. dated one person for about a year early. on and that ended unrelated to CF and. then afterwards was the time I started. falling into I guess I would say. depression related to dating because I. started looking at myself comparing. myself to others and saying why would.
Someone choose to date me over someone. else and if you’ve ever seen The Fault. in Our Stars or read the book I had a. very similar mentality to hazel grace. the main character where she said she. didn’t want to date because she felt. like she was a grenade and if anything. were to happen with her health she wants. to lessen the impact or less than the. number of people affected by that by not. dating and not bringing more people into. her life and unfortunately that was the. mentality I was in for three years I. didn’t date anyone for three years I got. stuck in this like just rut of feeling. why would someone choose to date someone. with CF and how would I be able to date. someone by sick by having to tell them. oh by the way I might die before you. or these somewhat valid facts about CF. that who knows if that’ll actually ever.
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Even happen but that’s what my mind. started taking over and making me think. about so my trust issues just came. fullblown in my face and I wouldn’t let. people within like a 10foot Pole of me. and anytime I would go out to the bar or. meet people through mutual friends and. they would try and get that little bit. closer I would freak out and step away. and abandon the situation because I. didn’t want to allow myself to be. vulnerable and I didn’t want to let. people in and I think I was mostly. scared of how it would affect someone. else’s life and at that time I wasn’t. comfortable with that it took me a long. time to go through the mental processes. of figuring out that I am worth dating I. am worth everything else that everyone. else is despite my CF and to trust. people that there are people out there. who are going to accept me for.
Everything that I am and that took me a. long long time to get out of that rut. actually I was in the middle of getting. out of this when I met my current. boyfriend who I’ve been dating for. almost a year and has been doing great. and he’s the first person since that. depression that I was able to open up. with and it’s still even an issue today. sometimes where he says I feel like you. don’t tell me these things and it’s just. still my inability to open up and to. tell people my true feelings and I’m. still working on that it’s still. something that I’m working on but I. think some of the main takeaways of. dating with CF. but I think first and foremost you have. to be happy with yourself and who you. are before you can ever be happy with. someone else. that was a big thing that I had to do I. had to accept me who I was my.
Shortcomings my differences before I. could ever bring someone else into this. situation or it would have been toxic it. wouldn’t have worked because I hadn’t. found happiness within my own self and. how can I expect someone else to love me. and be happy with me until I love myself. another one is don’t date someone who. you need to hide things from if you need. to hide your SIA from anyone or they. don’t accept your CS and clearly they. are not someone who’s worth your time. and worth dating anyway number three is. find someone who will love you and all. the baggage that you come with and all. the differences you have because you are. a package and I think my favorite story. related this is my current boyfriend he. and I went to one of his music shows and. afterwards he simply said oh we have to. go put my my drums back at my house and.
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Of course in my mind I’m thinking oh. crap I have to do my treatments I have. to do this and that and we’re gonna have. to sit at home before we can even go out. and meet everybody out after the show. and I would felt so concerned of like. having to tell him that and we get home. and I tell him like we have to stay here. for a while I have to do my treatments. and without even blinking an eye he goes. yeah I know like that’s why we came home. I just told them that because we needed. to come home anyway because you need to. do your meds so I’ll just go in the. other room you do your meds I have. something to do and the fact that there. was someone who thought of it as much as. I did in my mind was such a great. realization that there are people out. there that will take on your baggage and. take on everything that makes you.
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Different so that you’re not the only. one thinking about oh I need to do. treatment so I need to take my meds and. you do this and that’s what a. relationship is it’s two people. both of you accept each other for who. you are and I think my last topic her. dating CF is don’t date someone who’s. going to hold you back because your CF. my favorite story with this is again. with my boyfriend now we were in. Thailand we had just met it was the end. of our trips at the end of our two weeks. and we were ziplining and if you’ve ever. been ziplining you know that you usually. have to hike up a mountain to get to the. beginning of the zipline I didn’t factor. this into that so I look at the bat and. I’m like oh crap alright I’ll get up. there eventually like I normally do like. I’ll do it but I’ll do it at my own pace.
So I start hiking and about halfway up. I’m struggling struggling but without me. even noticing my now boyfriend comes up. behind me goes all right come on get my. back it’s like what excuse you anything. you’re getting to the top come on let’s. go so way too many football fields later. up this mountain he’s still carrying me. so that I could get up there with. everyone else. so find someone who’s going to carry you. up that mountain and who’s not gonna. treat you like a china doll cuz that’s. one thing that I love about my boyfriend. now and I think is key with any. relationship with CF is he pushes me you. need to be push you can’t be treated. like this little fragile china doll. because just because we have CF doesn’t. mean we can’t do everything everyone. else does we just do it a little bit. differently so dating and CF I hope that.
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You can take away something from this. and can either relate to where I was. where I am and know that there are. people out there that are going to. accept you for who you are and to wait. for those people don’t settle. don’t settle for someone who doesn’t. accept you and doesn’t love you for. everything that you are so at the end of. the day be sure to love yourself and if. you love yourself and you’re positive. you’re going to bring amazing people. into your life but with that I hope you. guys have a great week I hope you. enjoyed everybody’s video this week and. be sure to subscribe. I’d check out all of our social medias. I’ll put my links and my email down. below if you ever want to reach out to. me any questions comments stories you. want to give I’m always here to talk so. subscribe I’ll talk to you all later bye.