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Serious former atheist now theists. redditors what convinced you I don’t. know if would I call myself a theist now. the last January I broke my leg and as I. was limping around campus postsurgery. this young man came up to me and asked. if he could say a prayer for my leg I. didn’t want to be rude so I’ll let him. he seemed like he was genuinely. interested in hearing what happened what. I had to say and was actually. empathizing with me a total stranger he. just saw walking down the street he sat. there on the ground touching my cast and. saying one of the most heartfelt prayers. I’d heard for a solid three four minutes. and then he just said thank you and left. I used to be pretty anti religion and. thought his was BS and thought pretty. lowly of people who were religious but. the fact that such a belief in something.

So much devotion and compassion could. arise from something like this really. made me think Andrea valuate my mindset. and opinions on spirituality and. religion like I said I’m not really sure. if I myself and theistic now but I feel. really warm inside when I think about. that guy and how his devotion to God. made my day a little better for me I was. really down horrible job horrible. girlfriend on the brink of being. homeless with no direction in life. talking to my mom one night she is very. religious but did what anyone should do. and allowed me to find my path without. shoveling down my throat and she simply. said I know you don’t like hearing this. but why don’t you try praying about it. it can’t hurt the logic made sense as I. was desperate at the time so I gave it a. shot I said the deepest most heartfelt.

Prayer I could muster not one of those. simple say it and don’t expect anything. prayers but this came from the inner. depths of my soul I only asked for one. thing to make something anything better. I’m literally tearing up as I write this. just thinking about that night a few. days later things began to change I had. enough route of nowhere to take over a. friend’s lease for an apartment that I. could afford it was a craphole good. compared to my car it was a castle I was. through thankful from there things just. happened one after the other and I was. convinced that. I was wrong to this day I pray daily and. believe in God granted some things. didn’t change with me I still believe. evolution I just believe that God was. the architect I believe in same gender. marriage because if God can do what he’s. done for me after not believing in him.

For so long he doesn’t judge a person. for who they love now I have two degrees. a beautiful wife a great house and. honestly feel that 100 percent of it is. due to him I grew up in a very twisted. and almost cultlike Church from the. ages of 7 18 during this time I felt the. religion that was being shoved down my. throat was not only illogical but. oppressive I would wonder to myself how. a loving God would have so many rules. and regulations to be accepted and loved. by him after I turned 20 there’s of this. darkened doctrine clouding my life I. decided to do my own research and find. out what I believe it was a very. uncomfortable and almost painful journey. but I was driven to find what was going. to be the truth in my life I have found. that in my heart and mind God does exist. I have gotten to know who he is by.

Personal prayers and questions answered. and this belief is only strengthened day. by day people ask how do prayers get. answered how do you have a relationship. with something you can’t see I will. provide a short example by what I mean. when I say answered prayers and their. relationship with God I was trying to. pay my way through nursing school. working two jobs while doing this was. killing me but I was determined to make. it work when tuition was due I was seven. hundred and thirty four dollars and 68. cents short my parents couldn’t help him. it was too short notice to apply for a. loan I told no one about this struggle. and miserably accepted the fact that I. would have to sit that semester out I. prayed about it and put my sadness and. concerns on God I read my Bible that. night and I came across this verse.

Jeremiah 33:3 call unto me and I will. answer the in show you great and mighty. things that thou knowest not I can’t. explain the amount of overflowing peace. that fill of my heart the next morning. there was an envelope in the mailbox. with my name on it. there was 750 dollars inside with a note. that said from a stranger. in the world three years later I still. have no clue who gave me that money I. could go on and on about things like. this that has happened in my life I’ve. had people try to say my experiences on. nothing but coincidence but I don’t. believe in coincidence I believe in a. loving and caring God recovery from. addiction my spirituality feels like a. mix of intelligent design daisen and zen. i’m extremely loosely theistic but i. believe that there’s something out there. and sobriety has helped me finally.

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Realize it is and aliens and other feds. best of all I’m not it’s randomly chosen. martyr and the thing is most likely ok. with me I grew up in a somewhat. practising Muslim house sold from a. young child I kinda had faith in God if. you can call it that but like most kids. mostly because it’s what I was taught. fast forward to high school and I got. into all kids of trouble drugs booze. partying etc at some point when I was. stoned I had a deep conversation with an. atheist and just couldn’t comprehend how. he could deny that there is a higher. power that we are answerable to we are. amazing creatures and witness little. miracles all day every day it can’t all. be an accident fast forward to when I. found out I was going to be a dad still. kind of a mess but realized I better get. my crap together. my girlfriend was also from a Muslim.

Household but they see a more religious. and she had more faith although she was. next to me through all the partying and. Marcotte X and father died she had kind. of a vision while on shrooms and soon. after started to pray and become. religious I was resisting and actually. going through depression was on meds but. eventually agreed to listen to a CD by a. young preacher named yosik and he called. to Shahada s’ the most fascinating. takeaway was learning that if I take one. small step towards God he will take a. leap towards me and pull me back in so I. reluctantly tried praying one night and. ended up crying like a with my. heads of the carpet prostrating to God. slowly I started to feel like a void had. been filled I started to learn about. Islam and how it complements science. I just felt whole again and by the time.

My son was born we gave him a Muslim. name and raised him to love God endow. his creations. I got introduced to Buddhism when I was. an atheist it really connected with me. and I noticed spirituality was filling a. long empty void for me it boils down to. believing in order or randomness I am. well educated and understand how our. universe is an incredible dance between. the sciences we’ve uncovered physics. chemistry evolution etc but as I become. more and more educated on these things. and start to dive into each topic there. always seems to be something missing. everything in our universe is in a. perpetual battle against chaos and. randomness cosmic rays are bombarding. DNA stars grapple and tear at each other. in gravitational wrestling matches the. moment any order is achieved in this. universe forces try to tear it down and.

Yet that is exactly what this universe. wants to do create order floating rocks. want to be planets organic molecules. want to be proteins cellular organisms. want to be more complex accept viruses. frick viruses and so as I learned more. about this violent in random universe we. call home I feel that something is. missing why is it that as we discover. more and more about the sciences what we. learn more about is in order to things. to me this order is beautiful and true. there is more art and beauty in physics. math and the simple fractal stretching. of a tree to the sky than we can. possibly imagine. to me this is God do I believe in an old. white guy in the sky writing rules for. dark energy number but I do believe that. I am just simply unable to grasp the. concept of this deity and I’m okay with. that. I see his work in the world around me.

And in myself am i religious yes but the. value in religion to me is to bring me. closer to understanding this universal. order but on a human level we don’t have. a science devoted to the human soul. spirit and yet is to begs for order for. us to want to be better more than we are. but we have centuries of religious. thought work completed by some very very. smart people of their day it’s stupid to. disregard that just because you don’t. believe in one religions traditions or a. particular aspect of religion so I go to. church and read and learn and because I. don’t exactly know what God is sometimes. I do. denim he seems to like the same things I. do involuntary denial about the idea. that what we see is all that there is my. mind just won’t let me accept that. anymore. I suppose I went from being an atheist. to being an agnostic theist at the root.

Of my beliefs is a concept of the. massive perhaps infinite scale of space. and time in the same way that an ant on. an anthill lives in total ignorance of. the greater world we cannot possibly. comprehend the true nature of the. universe we live in even if we were. somehow able to sense it I doubt our. minds are equipped to truly understand. it for all we know the entire universe. is merely a selfcontained cell in the. body of a God being for all we know time. is cyclical and we live our life an. infinite number of times as the universe. continually expands and collapses on. itself considering how absurd ly and. significant and ignorant we are in this. grand machine of existence I think it’s. extremely probable that something which. fit our concept of a God exists but it’s. likely unknowable and incomprehensible.

To us likewise it’s easy for me to. imagine a scientifically justifiable. afterlife if we are no more than the sum. of our atoms and either an infinite. number of dimensions exists or time is. infinite then we would at some point in. time or space be recreated in precisely. the same form as we existed in this life. and because our consciousness could not. register the time which had passed. perhaps we would from our perspective. flow seamlessly from one life to the. next so while I wouldn’t consider myself. to be an adherent to any religion. because I highly doubt that any office. mortal limited men could know the true. nature of God I suppose I am a theist in. that I do have a belief which I guess is. faithbased that a God does exist I am. surprised that nobody else has mentioned. the study of the human body I’m not.

Talking about the vague biology or. exercise science classes I’m talking. about the highest level gross anatomy. kinesiology and physiology classes in. grad and medical school I was raised. secularly the spiritual aspect of life. wasn’t an emphasis in my family but I am. saying that with the study of the human. body at the highest level I have. begun to consider the viewpoint of. intelligent design whether it is divine. or otherwise the marvelous wonders of. the human body its structure function. interdependency of systems in the. staggering complexity of homeostasis are. beyond words sure it can be described it. will it really ever be understood the. concept of intelligent design still. makes me cringe but if you remove the. Associated social stigma and. philosophically objectively consider the. idea it has merit so yeah not an appeal.

To the motion here no confounds of. social learning nurture argument or a. trauma in my life that brought me to God. just a large amount of data that. gradually built to the inexorable. conclusion that we were designed now. consider the operational definition of. God a being of incomprehensible power. intellect and wisdom who has brought. everything in our world into existence. is it not within the realm of. possibility that such a being exists. forget the sophomoric level of education. presented to you at college yes I mock. the traditional college education it’s a. joke to believe it’s either worthy of. respect or adequate in today’s world and. consider the idea without biases theists. can mocked I have certainly done more. than my share I once had contempt for. the idea of magic sky fairies but. consider the non magic version of an.

Omnipotent for all practical purposes. being what else could have created life. so long ago ah random mutation and. natural selection any less loony. what’s more why is it assumed that a God. can’t design creatures who adapt to. their environment the Dumber versions. are theists and atheists can’t conceive. after being made life to operate. perfectly within the realm of scientific. principles the final pillar of my. nontheistic life the notion of. accepting just one idea based on faith. rather than demanding empirical evidence. is slowly crumbling away everyone takes. something on faith even the notion that. empiricism keeps their own viewpoint. unassailable which it doesn’t for me. it’s more along the lines of how did. everything play out so perfectly how our. who we are today I do believe in. evolution I think God made evolution as.

A more smooth transit. to what we call human I also believe in. science. people say it’s crazy to think of God. created a world and people but I think. it’s crazy that somehow the earth is. positioned perfectly the gravity of this. planet is perfect the oxygen level is. perfect the day and night cycle is. perfect if there’s no such thing as. perfect how are we alive so I went from. hardcore belligerent atheist to Baptist. Christian I was originally raised in. church saw thought that was fairly. agnostic till about high school when I. was having a conversation with my youth. pastor in which he basically said in. response to my questions that I should. just believe it because that is what. they believe so I said screw that and. decided to never have anything to do. with Christians again I still went to. church to keep my mom happy but I openly.

Mocked anyone that identified as. Christian both at my church and school. then I heard about a ministry internship. in Texas that did IT and video. production which is what I wanted to do. since I was still involved in my church. they would pay for it free school and I. could go there which also helped to get. my mom off my back I got to go out of. state and experience some college life. since I had not gone away to school. while I was there I was taught. hermeneutics and I was given answers to. the questions that I had this basically. started a journey where I would read. through the Bible and write down all the. questions that I had and point out all. of what I thought were contradictions in. the text after wrestling with it for. about a year and allowing my. presuppositions to be challenged I came. to the logical conclusion that the Bible.

Was true and since I believed it to be. true then I needed to obey what it said. and take it seriously there are more. details but that is the basic gist of it. I took a scientific and logical approach. to it and came to the conclusion that. the Bible was true I was not pleased. with my conclusion and was fairly P. about it which I have since gotten over. I was always skeptical always fight if. there was a God he hated me haven’t-. had the easiest life so far so one day I. was strung out in my room and a vision. hit me it said to start praying so I did. I prayed for things to make me better to. make it easier to stay on the right path. that was a year ago. today I am clean active and for the most. part content with my overall self this. made me believe there was a God and that. he does love me for me it was a very.

Sudden change I told God that I would. give him a chance and from that point to. now my life has been radically changed I. have never been filled with more joy or. passion than when I am serving God not. to mention the relationship that I have. with God is astounding we talk all the. time the relationship part of it is what. got me I’m a theist on principle because. I think rampant dismissal of. spirituality and the increasing. mechanization of our worldview and. lifestyle is one of the more. pathological elements of modern society. we throw ourselves into so many. irrational systems every day to dismiss. religion seemed arbitrary there is so. much other stuff in life that we never. put through such rational cynical. scrutiny as we do towards people sitting. in a church well that obviously is not a. guy called John McLean it’s an image.

Projected on a screen of a man named. Bruce Willis who posed in front of a. couple of cameras in the mid 80s well. obviously that I watch is just another. piece of plastic that glows light and so. I should have no reason to desire it. also as I grow an older I’m more and. more found this humanist secular idea of. of just do good to simplify things to be. incomplete and hasn’t really fared well. in practice that technocratic logistical. view of Richard Dawkins is the same view. promoted by Starbucks when they have a. sign that says we believe in fixing the. environment together next to a bunch of. wasteful single serving coffee packages. or Apple appealing to hippy here’s to. the crazy ones ethos while supporting. sweatshop labor as I grow up I keep. getting a sense that if you want to. sustain a radical ambitious view of the.

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