What do you honestly think about dating. single moms. i was engaged to a single mom once met. her son when he was eight and he and i. got along great his dad wasn’t all that. active in his life so he essentially. became my stepson i taught him how to. ride a bike coached football took him to. school slash dr appointments built. rockets and launched them at the park. took him to disneyland the whole nine. yards we all live together for three. years and one day his mom my girlfriend. decided to cheat with just a friend from. her work needless to say we ended the. relationship and i never got to see him. again poof just like that the kid that i. loved like a son was gone and i had. exactly zero right to see him again it. was the hardest thing i’d ever had to do. it ruined me i hate her for what she did. i loathe her i wouldn’t cross the street.
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To pee on her if her hair was on fire. leaving her was easy leaving him wasn’t. after that i won’t date single mom. seriously again unless her kids are. significantly older late teens the risk. of that hurt coming back to haunt me. isn’t anything that i think i could. withstand again needless to say we ended. the relationship and i never got to see. him again poof just like that the kid. that i loved like a son was gone and i. had exactly zero right to see him again. man i experienced that from the kid’s. side it is not fun let me tell you i. would never even think of dating a. single mom precisely because of the. chance of that sort of thing happening. all situations being different i’m. curious how the single mom explains that. to her kids. been there done that i’m too young to. deal with another person’s kids that’s.
Honesty some people can take it on some. people think they can and some won’t it. takes the right person time and. circumstance i don’t even consider it an. option i don’t think i’ll ever be open. to a tbh there’s no way i could be a. good father to someone else‘s kid it. wouldn’t be fair to the kid or to me. her daughter was four years old when we. met we were together about six years she. was a single mother and i was a single. father biggest thing how each of us. corrected behavior in our children she. believed in the old way of spanking and. admonishing bad behavior while i. strongly believed in talking to the. child praising good behavior and going. from there but i don’t do the hitting. thing i should have left earlier than i. did but i was gaslighted while i fought. a debilitating disease thinking i didn’t.
Deserve better over a year later and her. daughter still comes to stay with me. some weekends and along with a week here. and there during the summer the first. time she came over she asked me why i. still have pictures of her around the. house i told her that although her. mother and i aren’t together that. doesn’t change the fact that i raised. and loved you as my own daughter she. cried and hugged me then we snuggled. together to a movie it was heartwarming. the thing is she doesn’t open up or. really talk to her my more actual father. at all and to my knowledge i’m the only. one in her life she feels comfortable. opening up to about anything in her life. i’ve made sure she knows she’s always. welcome here if she ever needs a safe. place or just to be somewhere where she. can go up to her old room and be by.
Herself since she shares a room with. three others at her mom’s house best. thing to come out of a crappy. relationship. for me it’s more the fact that there. could be an ex whatever to throw a. wrench in my life i have zero interest. in that for me it’s more about the kid i. just don’t have interest in living with. one i want to be a loving partner but. not a parent i don’t want kids i’m not. gonna raise someone else‘s yeah if i’m. not ready for my own kids i’m not ready. to take on step dad responsibilities. either if i ever win the lottery or get. 10 years older that could possibly. change but for now i’d really like to. get back on that double income no kids. bus that s is ballin. if my wife died i would be looking at. single moms as an option because i would. know that they would understand my. priorities as a parent and i feel there.
Would be a higher likelihood that they. would treat my son well that said step. parents have little to no rights. concerning step kids in the event of a. breakup or divorce so you’re putting. your heart at significant risk by. getting attached to the children of. someone else i as a single dad tried to. date a single mom we had a couple of hot. encounters but between kids and jobs it. was just too hard to schedule anything. and the relationship just fizzled out i. can imagine even with two parents in the. picture my kid soaks up all of our time. met my ex when her daughter was three i. had a nineyear-old son broke up when. her daughter was almost ten i still see. her daughter regularly and give her some. pocket money each week no regrets good. on you lucky for her too. it’s better than married moms this. married dad can curse.
I’ve seen a lot of people say that you. never should and i’m sure that there are. a lot of cases that it’s true my mother. was 19 when she had me 21 when she had. my sister and 23 when she divorced the. man that fathered us both when her and. my stepdad got together my sister and i. were both very young and he was only 21. my mom was 24. he became very close to. me and my sister and we both started. calling him dad a few years in our. biological father had left us completely. and was living many many states away my. dad stepped in and took us to every. fatherdaughter dance doctor’s. appointments and became copresident of. the pta at my elementary school with my. mom while they were both still in. college when they got married almost. seven years later all four of us were. sobbing messes he is my best friend in.
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The whole world and i’m so grateful that. he was willing to take a risk so young. to be with my single mom that he loved. i’ve dated two both serious longterm. relationships the latest has a very. sweet teenage daughter that i adore i. can’t even understand most teenagers but. this one somehow speaks in full. sentences and is a good person hahaha. her mother and i broke up a while back. but we’ve been getting back in touch i’m. setting aside time and money to help her. daughter get ready for college i don’t. owe her anything but she’s family to me. and i love her she did nothing wrong and. it’s heartbreaking to see a kid suffer. because adults move on i would date. another single mom but i’d make sure i. had my life very well together and i’d. be far more observant of the. relationship i’m looking for a life. partner at this point in my life so i.
Want to make quite sure i’ve taken my. time to truly get to know a woman. especially if she has any kids because i. raise them as my own and don’t ever want. them ripped away there are some amazing. women out there that happen to be single. mothers i ignore all the stigma people. assign them and judge for myself a good. person is a good person that’s some. beautiful insight you slash as 1911. thank you stupid name much life. experience. i don’t want children so i wouldn’t be. able to commit to that. one of very few deal breakers for me. won’t even consider it yeah the reason i. paid for the hinge app is that’s the. only way to get the option that filters. out the people with kids apparently they. can choose to not display this at all. i’ve lost count how many times i’ve. matched with people who later in phone. conversations would mention their kids.
Oh. didn’t it say on my profile. uh damn that’s unlucky i haven’t had. that happen yet but i have seen that. doesn’t have kids park blank and always. assume that means they have kids. tried it once she used me to make her ex. jealous wouldn’t do it again granted i’m. married now oh you’re married name every. couple on earth. not for me. it worked out great for me we married. over 20 years and just last year my. stepdaughter bought me a car girl was. five when i started dating her mother. best part was i didn’t have to do all. that diaper changing stuff. adult children are fine young children. are a deal breaker i’m not going to get. involved in a child’s life and be a. father figure to them if i’m not 100. sure that i’m going to be that child’s. father for the rest of their life if me. and the mom broke up i wouldn’t be able.
To handle it as a single father i did. not ponder dating until my son was an. adult i’m dating another single father. now and his son was also an adult when. we got together it works great for us. wait that was a bit unexpected but good. for you we didn’t expect it either but. life works in mysterious ways based on. your username are you a couple of three. i don’t want kids at all got snipped so. that’s a no for me but from my random. sample size from talking to guys my age. in their 20s i’d say it’s a coin flip. whether that’ll run them off. having kids is a deal breaker so it’s a. no from me. terrible idea if you are a single dad go. for it but if you single with no kids. being a dad father figure isn’t easy. single mothers often avoid single. fathers always strikes me as ironic like. when obese women say they deserve fit.
Men stunning and brave era we are. dated a single mom when i was younger to. be honest i loved that little guy he was. three at the time and i did the best i. could to help raise him his mom and i. ended up spitting but i still think. about him it was 20 years ago and in. hindsight i can freely admit that i was. not ready to be dating a single mom i. was too young and immature however i. would not trade the experience for. anything it teaches you an enormous. amount about life and love now i’m. married so dating a single mom isn’t. really in the cards as i don’t plan on. leaving my wife ever that said i have no. problem with a situation like that sure. there are complications but my. experience taught me that a whole lot of. joy can come out of it. no. for starters i don’t even want a kid of. my own let alone another man’s this i’m.
Not here to clean up other people’s. messes you’d inevitably get the you’re. not my real dad scream at you too the. first time my preteen now 14 year old. step daughter yelled this at me i told. her someday she’ll understand why this. really isn’t an insult. casually date sure seriously date no. thanks agreed many don’t like being. second priority to the kids but if you. are not looking for a fulltime. relationship a mother won’t be too upset. that she isn’t getting 100 of your. attention since she doesn’t have the. time anyway. i tried it once in my twenties she was a. bit strange kid was very nice but she. wasn’t even supposed to have one invited. me back to her place we got there and. then introduced her son who was about. six i was weirded out she told me this. is a test to see if guys are all right. around kids and are willing to date a.
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Unfortunately they cling to the same. story as the first group usually blaming. men the second group outweighs the. former in numbers by two colon one they. are indistinguishable from the outside. which probably why men avoid them my bf. says the same thing we’ve been together. three years now. and have lived together for six months. he didn’t meet my kids until we’d been. dating for just over a year and had had. several conversations about it and our. relationship to him this was a green. flag my exhusband was a true and actual. abusive piece of s who didn’t show his. true colors until after the kids were. born quite common but the fact that my. kids were always clearly my priority was. a green flag so i agree with you and. with him lol my mom was a single mom and. she was a trash human being with. horrible priorities and fell into the.
Second group easily on feo. been there i’m there never works you’re. always lost in their priority. i understand the whole kid comes first. but that ends up to kids running your. relationship and them believing kids. lying over your word you have to suck it. up when kids misbehave or disrespect you. and have all the responsibilities of a. dad feeding them sharing bills help them. etc but you aren’t entitled to. discipline them or decide anything. regarding to them so basically just the. downsides of parenting then there’s the. bit when s hits the fan and she decides. to cheat on you on breakup that you. can’t see the kids anymore kids you. helped raise etc yeah seems like a lot. of work when you could just be with you. know anyone else. it’s all about the person some of them. are really nice individuals and some are.