If you or someone that you know is. married to an unbeliever you need to. watch this entire video because. i’m going to share with you exactly what. the bible says. about this situation but towards the. second half of this video. i’m going to give you seven very. practical things that you need to do. if you ever find yourself in this. situation. that’s coming up today on the beat. hey my friend welcome back to the beat. my name is alan parr thank you so much. for tuning in if this is your first time. here it’s a pleasure. if you want a free ebook click the link. in the description box below. if you enjoy this video consider. subscribing hit that little bell. notification. so you won’t miss a beat okay so. recently i’ve had a lot of people ask. this question they’re like hey brother. allen. what do i do if i’m a believer i love.
Jesus but my spouse does not. so once again i’m going to share with. you exactly what the bible has to say. about this. but then we’re going to get into some. very practical things that you. need to do okay let’s head over to first. corinthians chapter seven. where paul addresses three primary. scenarios. as it relates to marriage and scenario. number one. is the ideal situation which is a. believer. is married to another believer now. notice what paul says here about this. situation here in verses 10 and 11. he says to the married i give this. command not i but the lord. now let’s stop right there many people. will say see that’s the reason why we. don’t need to listen to paul because. paul himself even says. that this is my command not the lord but. what he’s basically saying here. is that i am giving you a new fresh.
Command from god a new revelation from. god. that jesus christ has not previously. given. so he’s not denying his own authority in. terms of giving scripture. he’s simply saying i’m giving you. something that jesus has not previously. mentioned now let’s keep reading it says. here a wife must not separate from her. husband. but if she does she must remain. unmarried or else be reconciled to her. husband and a husband must not divorce. his. wife so paul makes it very clear here. that the. ideal situation is for a believer to. stay. married to another believer but if for. whatever reason that does not happen. and one believer chooses to leave the. other believer. basically paul says you got two choices. a. you can either remain unmarried for the. rest of your life or b. you need to be reconciled to your. original spouse.
So to make it very clear paul says the. ideal situation is for you to either. stay married or. be remarried to your original spouse now. the second scenario is. not ideal and this is when a believer is. married to an. unbeliever but that unbeliever wants to. stay. married to the believing spouse now paul. has some things that he wants to say. here about this but. before we get into this passage of. scripture it is very important for us to. understand the cultural background. to the book of first corinthians. specifically chapter. seven essentially this was written to a. lot of. younger baby carnal christians a lot of. them. gentile christians who did not know god. and so. many of them were using their newfound. faith in christ. as an excuse to get divorced because. they were saying hey. it can’t be god’s will for me a new.
Christian Dating Non Believer
Believer a lover of christ. to be married to my pagan spouse so god. must want me to divorce them and so paul. says no. no no let me explain to you what you. really need to do. now beginning in verse 12 it says here. to the rest. i say this i not the lord if any brother. has a wife who is. not a believer and she is willing to. live with him. he must not divorce her and if a woman. has a husband who is. not a believer and he is willing to live. with her. she must not divorce him so paul makes. it very clear. here that if you are a believer and. you’re married to a nonbeliever and. that nonbeliever. basically says hey i get it you love. jesus i don’t but i still love you. and i want to be married to you paul. says you have no biblical grounds or. basis. for divorcing that person now the second. thing that paul. says about a believer who’s married to a.
Nonbeliever and that non-believer. wants to stay married to the believer is. found in this next verse it says for the. unbelieving husband. has been sanctified through his wife. and the unbelieving wife has been. sanctified through her believing husband. otherwise your children would be unclean. but as it is they are holy. now this phrase requires a little bit of. interpretation now. hold on now stay with me because i’m. getting to the practical things that you. need to do if you find yourself in a. situation but i gotta lay the foundation. so many people will read this passage. and say well wait a second what does. paul mean when he says that the. unbelieving spouse. is sanctified through the believing. spouse or your children. are holy well it certainly doesn’t mean. that your. unbelieving spouse is saved because you.
Are saved. but rather the word sanctified means set. apart the word holy means set apart so. essentially. what paul is saying is that any. blessings that come. from god to you because you are a. believer. you are adopted by god you are a child. of god. anytime god blesses you everyone else in. your household is going to benefit from. those blessings in such a way. where they will also be in some way set. apart because. you are in that home so essentially. whatever god. does for you everyone else in your home. will benefit from it now the third. scenario. is if a believer is married to a. nonbeliever but that non-believer. now wants out of that marriage and this. is what paul says. he says here but if the unbeliever. leaves let it be so. the brother or the sister is not bound. in such circumstances. god has called us to live in peace how.
Do you know. wife whether you will save your husband. or how do you know husband whether you. will save your wife. and so paul makes it very clear here he. says hey you may love your spouse. but if they don’t love jesus and they. say i want out of this marriage. paul says let them go and the reasoning. behind it is hey. you don’t know whether they’re going to. be saved or not and so because you don’t. know that. the bible says you are not bound in such. circumstances now some people will. interpret that differently. but most scholars will interpret that to. say that that means that you are now. free to marry someone else as long as. they. are a believer so now that we’re crystal. clear on exactly what the bible teaches. about each scenario. i want to zoom in on scenario number two. which is where. the believer is married to a.
Nonbeliever and that non-believer does. not want out of that marriage. so basically you as the believing spouse. are stuck. in that relationship i’ve got seven. pieces of advice that i want to give. with you. number one is don’t have an affair with. jesus. now i know that sounds weird me putting. jesus and the word affair in the same. sentence but let me explain. what i mean by that is many times people. will have this newfound relationship. with christ. and they will neglect their. responsibilities to their spouse. and so now jesus gets all of their love. all of their affection and all of their. attention. and they completely deny their spouse. and they deny all of their marital. responsibilities. and duties and and taking care of their. spouse because they say hey you know. what you don’t love jesus. jesus loves me and so jesus is gonna get.
All of my love. that is not what god wants you to do he. still wants you. to maintain the same type of love the. same fervor. the same servant spirit that you had. even though. they are not a christian tip number two. do not compromise. your relationship with christ because of. your relationship to your. spouse now what i mean by this is. oftentimes if you’re married to somebody. who’s not a believer. they may ask you to do certain things. that go against your morality that go. against your integrity they go against. some of the things that you believe as a. christian. remember the order of submission is. always god. first and then family second so if you. are ever feeling. compromised in your integrity you are. under no obligation to submit to the. demands or the desires of your. unbelieving spouse tip number three goes.
Without saying and that is to pray for. them i’m not talking about some basic. prayer i’m talking about. effectual fervent ongoing prayer. years ago i went to preach at a church. on the subject of prayer instant. interestingly enough. and later on at the end of that service. i had this old lady she came up to me. and she said brother allen i really. loved your message and it really struck. with me because. i was praying for my husband for 20. years. every single day that he would get saved. and one day he came to know the lord. and that just let me know that we should. never give up on the power of prayer so. if you are married to an unbeliever. there should not be a day that goes by. that you do not seek the lord. and ask god to change their heart and. soften their hearts and they can come to. a saving relationship.
With christ tip number four model. christlike behavior this is huge. first peter chapter 3 verse 1 speaking. to wise but it also applies to men. as well it says here wives in the same. way submit yourselves to your own. husbands. so that if any of them do not believe. the word. they may be won over without words by. the behavior of their wives. when they see the purity and reverence. of your. lives so what you want to happen is that. whenever you. are being mistreated by your spouse you. want to. respond in such a way where your spouse. is left. saying wow the way i treated her the way. that i treated him. deserve this type of response but wow. this person my spouse. treated me in such a way that i didn’t. deserve they treated me in a better way. than i would have expected how can i be. more like that how can i treat them the.
Way they are treating me. and ultimately as you are modeling. christlike character. you are showing them what it really. means to be a christian. in hopes that they will seek after the. same thing that you have. tip number five respect their unbelief. now what i mean here is this. oftentimes whenever we come to a saving. relationship with christ. and our spouse is not we try to force. our faith. on our spouse because we’re so excited. about it and we’re like you just have to. get this. just like i do i mean jesus would change. your life and what we don’t realize. is that the more we are trying to force. our faith on them the more we may be. pushing them. away and not allowing god to do the work. in their. life you want to be prepared to answer. their questions you want to invite them. to church from time to time. and invite them to the things that you.
Think are going to help them grow. spiritually but whatever you do do not. try to force what you believe. on them because their hearts are not yet. ripe. and not yet softened to the truth number. six. continue to grow in your relationship. with jesus christ and i want to talk. specifically to the women because. in a lot of cases it’s the women that. are married to an. unbelieving uh spouse and so um. oftentimes if it’s a man. that is married to an unbelieving spouse. then over time that woman. generally will follow along with the. spiritual leadership of the husband. but in many situations it’s reversed now. um. what i’ve seen over and over again is. that when the husband. is not a believer the woman. tends to stunt her spiritual growth. because she follows after or submits. to his leadership or his pace ladies or. brothers if you find yourself in a.
Situation. whatever you do continue to do all the. things to foster. your individual relationship with christ. even though your spouse is not. interested. at all in spiritual growth and number. seven do not neglect. your family responsibilities and what i. mean here is this. oftentimes whenever we are excited we’re. on fire for christ. we want to go to church every night we. want to do all these things we want to. serve in 10 ministries and we’re gone. because we got this new found commitment. and we’re like you know what. i’m going hard for jesus christ and. that’s what i should be doing. but yet we’re neglecting our family. responsibilities you do not want your. husband to resent. church you don’t want him to resent you. because you’re always gone and he’s left. doing all. the work or she’s left doing all of the. work he they’re left doing all the.
Raising of the children cooking the. dinner helping with the homework because. now. your desire to get involved in church. and in ministry in your small groups and. hang out with all your christian friends. is now taking you further and further. away from your family responsibilities. remember that you still have a major. obligation. as a husband as a wife and when you. stand before god in the judgment. god is going to hold you accountable for. your role. as a husband a wife a father or a mother. so be careful not to neglect your family. so my friend if you find yourself in. this situation. hopefully these seven tips as well as. the biblical foundation for what god has. to say. will help you navigate through this. difficult situation. it is very difficult i’m not gonna make. light of it and that is the reason why. if you’re single watching this video.