Black People Online Dating

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Black People Online Dating she says

Vanessa will be wrote a really. fascinating piece in The Huffington Post. about her experiences dating online now. months ago we talked about this a study. that OkCupid did using its own data that. indicated that out of all the different. demographics that they’re dealing with. in terms of their clientele black women. have it the worst they’re the least. likely to get anyone who wants to talk. to them or initiate conversation with. them and usually their experiences on. OkCupid aren’t as successful as the. experiences of let’s say white women. right so she does mention that a little. bit um in her piece and I thought it was. kind of interesting. she references Kevin Lewis who also. analyze that OkCupid data most men. except black men are unlikely to. initiate contact with black women all. men including Asian men are unlikely to.

Reply to Asian women which I find. surprising and although women from all. racial backgrounds tend to initiate. contact with men from the same. background women from all racial. backgrounds also disproportionately. reply to white men so she mentions that. and I think that that’s a really. interesting sociological look at online. dating and you know society in general. now I should also note that interracial. marriage is increased significantly so. while we’re seeing these types of. results on a website like OkCupid in. real life we are seeing interracial. couples you know getting married and all. that uh but she talks about other things. she says that black women are the most. unmarried group of people in the United. States. so she’s feeling really discouraged with. the whole online dating experience. understandably so but I want to know.

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Before we open this up to everyone else. that she only tried online dating with. OkCupid and tinder okay and she had bad. experiences people people said some. pretty bad things to her some are so. bold as to state this preference in. their profiles listing which races they. don’t want to date what woman wants to. be constantly reminded that she’s deemed. unwanted every time she logs into her. OkCupid account. I received a slew of sexually crude. messages from the moment I created my. profile some popping up before I’d had. the chance to upload any pictures when I. did add pictures I got a barrage of. poorly typed oneliners ranging from. what. are you and what kind of black and what. kind of Asian are you where are you. originally from after he’d opened with a. short hello one 40something year old. gentleman told me that I needed to start.

Going to the gym there were a few who. adamantly would make plans and would. also stand her up so she was really. really frustrated all these experiences. anyway you guys jump in well I don’t. know that that necessarily has to do. with her being africanamerican I think. that has to do with her being a female. online dating yeah because everybody has. had those experience everybody gets wood. are you you’re hot you’re ugly you’re I. want to you I don’t want to. you like these are just the blanket. statements that people get and I’m sorry. that this happened to her but um I I all. kind of hope it’s sounds terrible I hope. it’s because she’s a woman it’s not. because of her grace yeah I think most. people honestly I think most people can. identify with that yeah I mean I did I. the only thing I tried was tinder and it.

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Was absolutely terrible and in inner. peace she says something about how she. decides to stop online dating as a form. of selfcare because she realized that. it was screwing her up psychologically. and I can totally understand that and. you go through some really really. terrible experiences when your online. dating because and by the way if you’re. using OkCupid and tender they’re gonna. be terrible experiences because they’re. free yeah so they’re gonna attract a. bunch of really really sketchy people. both men and women by the way um so I. mean if you try something that’s gonna. cost you some money maybe match or you. harmony your experiences might be. different uh but I do agree to your. point about how being a woman makes it. difficult cuz you there is a lot of room. for sexually you know I don’t know. yeah explicit messages and things like.

That but I think that there’s an extra. layer of it when you are a black woman. curious now to know what they’re doing. with the metadata that they’re learning. about people in these forums about their. preferences for what racial preferences. what are all this stuff are they selling. it or now they can do analyze it you can. show you know this research cuz there’s. been pressure within the black community. for black people to date black people to. marry you know I mean this that. conversation happened I’m. when oj was was and the whole jay trial. do you remember and it was like there. was scandal about him dating or being. married to a woman who was white and. blonde remember but that was all just. like people talking now there’s data and. they have analysis and i wonder what. they do with that analysis. do they sell it to advertisers or what.

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Do they do with it they might sell to. advertisers i wouldn’t be surprised. races try like what do you do with that. seesaw i bet you they’re trying to sell. it and I bet you agree to allow that. data to be sold when you sign on these. these sites uh but the one thing they do. do that I think is actually kind of. helpful as they release these studies. and they talk about hey at least in the. context of this very specific dating. site here’s what we’ve experienced with. our clients with our users whatever it. is and I think that having that. information is important I don’t want. them to sell to advertisers but it is. what it is that’s the world we live in. unfortunately some of the information. they give seems really helpful like they. did this analysis of what sorts of. pictures to not have it’ll stop people. from replying to you and so I change all.

Of mine and it didn’t help but I. appreciate them trying um but I think. that the results that we’re talking. about here are most disheartening. because like when you compare the idea. theoretically of online dating to. regular dating you think will now have. so many more choices it’s not just going. to be based on appearance necessarily I. have all this extra information but you. also can now be much more selective. because you can initiate contact of. people you would never see in real life. like before it was just the people who. are in your class or at work or who. happened or the same gym as you or. something like that but now you can go. on and only approach a certain type of. person it’s not limited by your social. circles and stuff like that apparently. does have some negative effects and I. feel like uh I feel like it becomes.

Overwhelming like the number of people. too many choices and and also as a woman. but for men I think for men as well I. don’t know Jared jumpin I think a. couples come together I remember last. week we were talking about how how. people perceive black folks are. perceived in the media I was bringing. that up and if you think about it I at. least been my experiences I’ve heard. black women complain about it the most. how are black women generally portrayed. because we’re talking about white folks. don’t really know black. we’ll black people join don’t know white. people all that stuff all mixed in with. those races so what you get your idea of. what type person is what you see on TV. or in their music videos so they think. hypersexualized. big asses loud uh aggressive don’t let. the man talk all these things heaped on.

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Black were mostly than any other group. of women and so they’re not seen as very. attractive because no one knows black. them that much and so when they see them. online in online people get have a heart. so hard to say so when they’re. due in person they don’t say as much. they can say the line because they have. that keyboard in front of the minutes. like an armor in front so they’re able. to do more such shows upon that but I. think it’s a it’s a small sample of what. people really think because they’ll know. who they are it’s why people mad about. um the Anaconda thing that um that a. Nicki Minaj did but there’s always white. women on Sports Illustrated with their. asses on and that’s just beautiful uh. and and uh Kim Kardashian has a huge. assets always out. all that’s awesome black women there. with big asses I look at that even.

Joking there yeah it’s that’s really. when people have to when they have this. actual black men a furthermore online. affront they’re like ah there’s an. automatic negative view of them and. that’s who normally complains about the. stuff and it’s true it’s really. interesting it’s okay to have. preferences right I mean you’re. attracted to what you’re attracted to. you can’t help that but if you’re not. attracted to a particular group of. people don’t go out of your way to be. disrespectful and horrible to them and. that’s the sense that I’m get I’m. getting from her she’s dealing with. people that are going out of their way. to be super disrespectful to her she. even talked about how some guys will be. like hey you know I usually don’t date. black girls but I definitely date you. why would you say why would you say.

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