What tinder does to your brain. i’m dr trish lee let me tell you. in this video we are going to talk about. three things. number one what tinder does to your. brain number. two how that reflects upon your. selfesteem and rejection and your. ability to deal with rejection. this is based on a scientific study out. of the university of texas. so listen up and make sure you follow me. through into the video. then number three of course i’m going to. tell you. what you can do instead so that it’s. healthier for your brain. and so that you can have the strength to. be able to feel. good and to be able to move into your. life on purpose. to be able to reach your full potential. okay number one. what do dating apps like tinder do to. your brain. what the dating apps have been shown to. do is they are. absolutely initially giving your brain.
A dopamine dump because you get all. excited. about the potential of meeting someone. now this is slightly loaded because for. most people when they’re using dating. apps. they are excited about the potential. of meeting someone for. objectified sexual gratification and. pleasure dopamine producing activities. not serotoninproducing activities. serotonin is the. neurotransmitter for happiness dopamine. the. neurotransmitter for seeming pleasure or. seeking pleasure out. so you get on the app you’re all psyched. because you’re going to meet someone. and we know that many people use the. apps just to hook up with someone. right i’m just calling a spade a spade. uh. that’s what the app is primarily being. used for. not for genuine connection with another. human being. with the idea of meeting them. getting to know what their favorite.
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Fruit is being able to. build connection and then build intimacy. maybe have a first kiss maybe you know. then move into a sexual relationship. which would be the healthy uh. evolutionary way to approach meeting. someone. we know that most people use it for a. quick gratification and pleasure seeking. event so now what the. science shows is that when young men is. a scientific study. using younger men when men use. tinder it results in low selfesteem. so just think about it it’s not the. natural way. of going about meeting someone you are. going to put yourself out on this app. with the. main idea to hook up with somebody else. so. that person’s not looking for connection. either so. in the end it ends up in rejection. for one or both parties to varying. degrees. and that rejection either happens right. away where. people don’t want to go on dates with.
You. or you can’t find someone who’s a match. or if you. meet someone they stiff you or you. aren’t you know you’re not getting very. far with many people or you actually. find a person to be with. and then when you go and you’re with. them it ends up in rejection. it ends up in rejection because it’s not. natural. that’s not the natural way that you can. meet someone. so here’s the takeaway this is number. three and i’m gonna. go back to number two a little bit but. the brain tip is. if you’re going to use tinder or dating. app. use it in an evolutionary way that’s. healthy for your brain. what i mean by that is use it with the. idea that you’re going to meet someone. likely it’s going to be a little tricky. because i don’t think many people are on. there to actually create. genuine connection so you want to. involve yourself in active activities.
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That you love and albeit right now and. coven 19. quarantine you might need to do them. online but you want to involve yourself. in activities where you can make a. genuine connection with other people. and with other potential partners. you want to pretend you’re going out and. across the room you see someone who. sparks your interest. when your interest is sparked in a. potential partner. you’re getting a dopamine hit but a. perfect one an. optimal one it includes oxytocin which. is starting to couple your brain. neurologically. to a potential human partner in the real. world. so you can do that in if you love chess. join a chess club. if you’re like me and you like the. enneagram there’s enneagram groups. online you can join an enneagram group. if you like to box you can join a boxing. group whatever your interests are.
You can join a group that naturally. builds connection with other people. that might lead to finding someone that. you build a stronger connection with. and your brain starts to get a little. spark of dopamine because you’d like to. go. for coffee with them then you’d like to. spend time. watching movies on the couch with them. then you want to spend time snuggling on. the couch with them. you get the idea connection moving. towards a sexual relationship. not zero to sixty that is not how. brains were developed to be able to. pursue. a partner or sex so that is how you can. use the dating app in a healthy way if. you can manage it. or get yourself connected in other. groups. okay i am working on the most awesome. new program to serve you so i’m really. excited about it. dating apps is part of it which jumped. into my mind that i wanted to share with.